The World You Desire Can Be Won
by SterlingQuill
Summary: As he watches her go, he can't ignore the nagging feeling that Karen is right. He doubts this is the last he'll see or hear of Haley James. And suddenly he can't help but think that he's made some kind of huge mistake. Classic N/H with a twist
1. The Mistake

A/N: This is my first foray into the world of fanfic in quite awhile, but I've written several fics for other fandoms including Alias and Veronica Mars. I thought I was through with fanfiction, but this has been sitting on my hard drive for quite some time and I figured I'd finally post. I'm a little rusty, but here goes. Typical N/H here...hopefully you still get some enjoyment out of it. This will have multiple parts and will include a few time jumps. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to One Tree Hill--not the characters, not the stories, not the music, and not the names.

**The World You Desire Can Be Won**

**The Mistake**

"Ball! Come on, man! I'm open!" He claps his hands for emphasis as he watches his teammate dribbling the ball at the top of the key.

The ball is hurtling towards him a split-second later and he grins when he catches it firmly in his hands. One quick pivot and he's on his toes watching the ball arc towards the metal rim. It whispers its way through the net and he feels several pats of congratulations just before he turns to jog down to the other end of the court.

Taking a breath, Nathan Scott raises the hem of his practice jersey to dab at the sheen of sweat that's forming on his forehead. It's only practice, but there's never been a game that Nathan Scott hasn't wanted to win. It's been years since there's been a player of his caliber at Tree Hill and now that he's a senior, the pressure is building. There will undoubtedly be an endless flow of college scouts looking to fill their rosters with the biggest and best. There are hundreds of reasons that Nathan Scott wants--no _needs--_to be on one of those rosters. Of course there's the fact that he loves the game, that he's an artisan when it comes to the sport, and that some would describe him as being a total ass when he's playing because he's all business on the court. But then there's the most important reason...the one nobody else knows about.

See, Nathan Scott knows exactly how many years it's been since Tree Hill has had a player of his caliber. His father, Dan Scott, reminds him every day. So the number one reason Nathan needs to play college ball?

To get out of Tree Hill. And to get the hell away from his father.

Nathan shakes himself free of his thoughts and turns his eyes to the court. When the sounds of the bouncing ball and the telltale squeak of rubber on wood grow closer, he hunches slightly and watches for a botched pass or a clumsy dribble.

"Scott!" his name echoes through the gym.

Okay, so he wasn't ready for that.

Nathan cringes at the angry drawl of his high school basketball coach, Whitey Durham. Schooling his features into what he hopes is a look of innocence, Nathan turns to face the red-faced man.

"Yeah, Coach?" he responds nonchalantly.

Whitey narrows his eyes at his star player before jerking his thumb back toward the locker room door. "My office. Now!"

The ball is dropped by one of the other players and Nathan watches as it rolls lazily toward the bleachers. He ignores the low whistles and sympathetic grumblings of his teammates as he makes his way out of the gym and through the locker room to Whitey's office. When he arrives, the old man is already seated behind his ancient desk, a mug resting atop the scarred wood, and he's frowning before Nathan even has a chance to sit down.

"What's up, Coach?"

"What's up? I don't know what's up, Nathan." Whitey shakes his head. "What I _can _tell you is what's _not _up. Your grades! Now what the hell is going on in that oversized head of yours?!"

"It's the teachers, Coach! They..."

"Don't you try that hogwash on me!" Whitey barks. "You seem to forget," a smirk slowly begins to appear on his creased face, "I coached your father! I've heard every excuse in the book! I know you're trying to pull the wool over my eyes before _you _know you're trying to pull the wool over my eyes! Now how 'bout you try explaining this to me." Whitey pushes a slip of paper across the desk and then leans back, his arms crossed over his chest.

Nathan's eyes skim the document and he feels himself sinking even lower in his seat.

_US History -- D+_

_Geometry--F_

_English 11--F_

_Human Anatomy--C-_

_Art--D_

_P.E.--A_

_Weight Training--A_

Nathan shrugs. "I have two As," he points out.

"Oh well, my mistake. I'm just so proud that my star basketball player can actually pass P.E. and Weight Training," Whitey grumbles dryly. "Congratulations on proving that the rumors about brain-dead athletes are true. It's just too bad your sports eligibility is based on your _academic _GPA! And since you're flunking both Geometry and English, allow me to translate the meaning of these words and numbers. As of right now, your GPA is too low for you to remain eligible for extra-curricular activities at Tree Hill High."

"What does that mean?" Nathan asks, dreading the answer.

"It means you're off the team, Air Jordan," Whitey remarks irritably.

Nathan frowns, "But the season starts in two months!"

Whitey nods. "Yes. And you're just lucky enough to have another report card due to come out just before the start of the official season. So if you're lucky, and I do mean incredibly lucky, I'll let you back on the team. If, and only if, your grades are up and you're in top physical condition."

"But..."

"I don't want to hear it, Scott."

"But, Coach..."

"Go whine to your daddy. I'm sure I'll be hearing from him anyway. We're done here. Now scram!"

"Great," Nathan mutters. "Just great. Dad's gonna love this."

* * *

He slams his locker so hard, the entire row rattles from the force. "This is bullshit!" he announces angrily.

"So you're off the team?" Tim questions in disbelief. "That's wack, dawg."

Nathan looks at Tim strangely before shaking his head in frustration, "Whatever, Tim."

"He's really not going to let you play, Nate?" Peyton Sawyer questions with concern as she approaches Jake Jagielski with a quick kiss.

"This is so bogus! We're never going to make it to the state championships now!" Brooke Davis pouts. "I'm _finally _Cheer Captain, we _finally _raise the money for hot uniforms, and for what? To fuel the wet dreams of a bunch of washed-up former Ravens in the crowd? It's not fair!"

"What are you going to do, Nate?" asks Jake.

Nathan shrugs, "I don't know, man."

"You could get a tutor."

Nathan turns to see his half-brother Lucas approaching the group. It's been less than a year since he and Lucas stopped hating each other with a fiery passion. Although he knows that Lucas is bitter over the fact that their father made the decision not to acknowledge his existence, Nathan wonders deep down if Lucas doesn't have the better deal. A single mom who actually cares seems to be a hell of an improvement over a dad who pushes until it seems he can't push anymore. It's been a long and difficult struggle--one riddled with fights and hazing and vicious teasing--but it seems that they've finally moved beyond all of the shit. For now.

Nathan stiffens slightly at Luke's suggestion. Though they're no longer the sworn enemies they once were, Nathan isn't quite comfortable knowing that Lucas is privy to this less than flattering information about him.

As he ponders the situation, Nathan watches as Brooke suddenly lights up and then skips over to where Lucas stands slightly hunched, his backpack tossed over one shoulder. Beaming up at Luke's bewildered face, Brooke turns to Nathan.

"I think the Hot Scott is on to something, Nate," she announces.

"Hot Scott," Tim chuckles. "More like Not Scott."

The group turns to stare at Tim in total disbelief before turning back to Nathan.

"Yeah right," Nathan scoffs. "Tutoring is for losers."

"So is sitting in the stands when you're supposed to be racking up full-ride scholarships," Jake snickers.

Nathan glares at Jake for a moment before looking at the earnest faces of his teammates and friends. This is supposed to be their year. The Ravens have been among the favorites to win the state championship for the past five years and with Nathan Scott as the team captain, it seemed that this year was going to be the big one. He doesn't like the idea of tutoring, but he really wants that state championship. It's the one thing Dan Scott never had.

"Tutoring?" Nathan questions uncertainly. His lip curls as though he's caught a whiff of something foul.

"I'm serious," Lucas insists. "Look, Nathan, we need you on that team. We all know we have no chance at the state championship without you."

The rest of the team nods and chimes in their agreement.

Lucas continues, "You may be an ass, but you're a damn good player. Now the question is, what are you going to do to make sure you're there for your team?"

"Yo, we've had your back for the last three years, Nate!" Skills Taylor reminds him.

"Come on, man!" Tim whines. "Maybe your tutor will be a hot blonde who'll take off her clothes every time you--"

"Not unless Peyton has started tutoring recently," Brooke Davis chimes in with a naughty wink.

"Brooke!" Peyton cries, reaching out to pinch her friend on the arm.

Lucas rolls his eyes and then shakes his head. "My best friend," he announces. "She tutors. She's amazing."

"Awww, you're best friends with a little Tutor Girl?" Brooke coos to Lucas. "That's so sweet."

Lucas gives Brooke a strange look before turning his attention back to Nathan.

"Your best friend? You mean that weird chick with the ugly sweaters?" Nathan questions sarcastically. He's only seen one girl hanging around with Lucas and she seems to be about as concerned with her appearance as Nathan is with school. The last thing he wants to do is spend an hour after school with some socially-inept geek staring at him over his math book.

Peyton frowns disapprovingly. "Shut up, Nathan. Haley's great! Jake had her as a lab partner last year. She's really smart."

"And you weren't worried?" Nathan asks Peyton. "She must be a real winner if you were willing to let your boyfriend work with her."

"Well, not everyone is as dishonest as you," Peyton replies sweetly.

Rolling his eyes, Nathan turns to Lucas, "Aren't there any tutors who are, like, hot?"

"Hey!" Lucas snaps defensively. "Watch it! Haley is probably the smartest person in our school. She's a good person."

"Which is code for Fugly Dog," Tim breaks in with a snicker.

"What'd I just say, Tim?!" Lucas gives Tim a shove. "Don't talk about her that way. You have no idea what you're saying." Annoyed, he glances at Nathan's arrogant smirk. "As a matter of fact...forget I mentioned it. She's too smart to want to have anything to do with you."

Lucas turns to walk away when suddenly Nathan feels something biting into the flesh of his arm.

"Yeow!" he jerks at his arm and turns to glare at Brooke who is innocently examining the state of the manicured nails that were just digging into Nathan's skin. "Damn it, Brooke!'

"Go after him!" she hisses. "Or so help me God..."

Nathan cringes and then, "Lucas, wait!" He heaves a reluctant sigh, "You really think she'll help me?"

Lucas shrugs, "I don't know. She's probably too smart to want to get mixed up with the likes of you. But I can talk to her. She's a sucker for a good cause."

Nathan considers his options for a moment and finally nods, "I guess I don't have much of a choice."

* * *

The ice chimes lightly against the glass in Dan's hand as he begins to shake with anger. Nathan closes his eyes as he waits for the explosion.

"What do you mean you're off the team?! You useless little shit! What the hell do you have going for you now? Huh?!" Dan Scott's face is bright red, nearly purple, with rage as he swings his arms wildly through the air, liquid sloshing over the rim of his glass and onto the spotless carpet below.

Nathan cringes and shrinks back into the couch as his father roars furiously. He knew the evening would be bad as soon as he walked through the front door and found the note saying that his mother was on yet another business trip. But this...this is even worse than he imagined.

"I'm working on it, Dad. Lucas is helping me--"

"Lucas? What does _he _have to do with this? He's probably glad to have you off the team. It's the only way he's going to get any playing time this season."

Nathan fights the urge to roll his eyes.

Dan sighs heavily and turns to glare at Nathan.

"Well," he mutters, "I guess I'm going to go see Whitey tomorrow. Here I am fixing yet another one of your stupid messes."

Nathan grimaces at his father's tone, but works up the courage to respond, "You can't fix this, Dad. It's district policy."

"I don't give a damn about district policy. If Tree Hill wants a winning basketball season, they'll put you back on that team."

"I'm going to take care of it, Dad. I'll take care of it myself, okay? I don't need you coming to my rescue. I'll clean up my own mess," Nathan remarks stubbornly.

Dan watches his son with narrowed eyes, something akin to disgust on his face. Finally, he gives a short nod before reaching over and smacking Nathan upside the head.

"You'd better."

* * *

"Damn! It's finally happened," she announces dramatically before popping a grape into her mouth. "You've finally lost your mind."

"Come on, Hales! Help the guy out."

Shedding her denim jacket, Haley rises from the picnic table and picks up her putter. Squaring up, she gently taps her orange golf ball across the green Astroturf and watches as it rolls into the cardboard tube they recently added to their makeshift mini-golf course. Letting her putter fall to the ground, she raises her arms in victory and turns back to Lucas. She jabs an accusatory finger at him and narrows her eyes, "You're just trying to throw me off my game, aren't you? Well, I've got news for you, Lucas Scott. It's not going to be that easy. I am the putt-putt queen!"

Lucas sits up from where he's lounging on the table's bench and raises his eyebrows at the ridiculousness of her grand proclamation.

Haley drops her arms and shrugs, "Okay, so that sounded a lot more impressive in my head."

"Yeah," Lucas chuckles. "Unfortunately, I'm one hundred percent serious, Hales. Look, I know he can be a jerk, but I've seen a different side to him. He has it bad with Dan riding him all the time. The guy could really use the help. And maybe you'll be a good influence on him."

"Right," Haley scoffs as she climbs up and perches atop the picnic table. "'The guy' being the brother who ignored you and then tortured you for years? The one who makes a regular habit of drinking, fighting, and sleeping around before sleeping in class? Yeah, he's a real class act. We'll be bosom buddies in no time."

"Please, Haley. Just do this. Think of it as a favor to the team."

Haley's arms are crossed defiantly. "He's an ass, Luke!"

"Yes. He's an ass. Believe me, I'm still not a big fan. But we really need him on the court. We'll never make it to state without him. Think of the team--Jake and Skills and Tim--"

Haley gives him a scathing look at the mention of Tim.

"Come on, buddy," Lucas pleads.

Haley tilts her head, her eyes narrowing, "You are going to owe me until the end of time, you know that?"

"I'll be your best friend forever," Lucas vows with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Haley replies begrudgingly. She gestures impatiently towards the second putter which is leaning against the table. "Are we playing or not?"

Jumping up, Lucas snatches the putter and swaggers over to the patch of Astroturf. "You're going down, James!"

"Let's hope not," Haley murmurs under her breath.

* * *

She's working with another student when he appears in the doorway to the tutoring center. He's wearing jeans, a polo, and basketball shoes, but he's also got a tall brunette wrapped around him at the moment. He's smirking when he finally pulls away and gestures towards the door. Haley can't help but roll her eyes when the girl leans in for one more kiss and then skips away, undoubtedly off to tell her friends about the lip lock she's just shared with the infamous Nathan Scott. Disgusted, Haley resists the urge to gag and then turns her attention back to her tutee.

He walks into the Tutoring Center and glances around quickly before spotting her. He doesn't know her, but he's seen her hovering around Lucas enough times to recognize her. She's dressed in jeans and a light purple t-shirt with some kind of goofy picture on the front, nothing very feminine or flirty. Her hair is straight, a dark reddish brown dye-job--the color he usually associates with people who are trying desperately to keep from fitting in. Her hair is pinned back with two plastic barrettes and he spots a thin gold band on her pinky finger. She's petite, he notices, but her features are large. She's got wide brown eyes--the kind he supposes are probably described as doe-like--and a wide smile that she's currently directing to another student in the room. She's not ugly, he acknowledges, but she's plain, most definitely not his type, and he finds himself already looking at the clock to count down the hour.

He waits until the other student leaves before approaching. Dropping his backpack with a thud, he slumps into the chair across the table from her and scowls in her general direction.

Glancing up, Haley quickly closes the book she's reading and smiles politely.

"Hi, I'm Haley."

Nathan glances up noncommittally and nods, "Yeah, hey."

"And you are?"

Surprised, Nathan looks up and smirks, "Like you don't know who I am."

Her features harden and she tenses a bit before responding, "Yes, but I was assuming you wouldn't want me to call you That Jackass to your face."

Irritation flickers over Nathan's face and his features grow rigid.

"You tutor in your spare time and you think there's something wrong with _me_?" he questions in disbelief.

"Can we just get started?" Haley responds. "I have a test in AP Lit tomorrow and I really need to study tonight."

"Wow, someone really needs to get laid," he mumbles under his breath with a glare. "It might help with the rage." He gives her a quick once-over and chuckles, "Not that I'm offering."

Haley takes in a huge breath and her grip on her pencil tightens. "Look, I know asshole runs in your family, so I'm just going to ask you up front if you can try to overcome your genetic deficiencies--at least while you're here." She takes a quick breath before pasting a perky smile on her face. "So I hear you need help in Geometry and English?" she questions neutrally.

The tiniest bit taken aback by her reaction, Nathan shrugs, "I guess. Whatever gets me back on the court."

Unimpressed with his lack of enthusiasm or appreciation, Haley sighs, "Fine, let's just get started."

"Fine."

* * *

Haley growls to herself slightly and gives her locker a light punch before grasping the handle and giving it another tug. Once again, for what seems like the thousandth time, her locker door is stuck. Normally this wouldn't be a huge dilemma and she'd just sweet talk one of the custodians into opening it after school, but she has an open-note English test in about six minutes and her notes are inside of the locker.

"I can fake a cough with the best of them," she murmurs to herself. "I'll just go home sick."

"Talking to yourself?" a perky voice questions from somewhere behind her.

Whirling around, Haley flushes slightly with embarrassment, "Oh, uh..."

"No worries," Brooke Davis shrugs. "I've got a big mouth, but it's got better uses than gossip."

Haley's eyes widen at the implication of her words and her cheeks grow just a bit warmer.

"You're Haley, right?" Brooke asks with a friendly smile.

Haley narrows her eyes suspiciously, "Do you and Nathan have some kind of bet going on to see who can drive me to the asylum the quickest?"

Brooke lets out a husky chuckle, her dimples on full display, and shakes her head, "Nope, I just thought I'd come over and introduce myself. See, if you get to know me, you'll be more willing to do me a favor."

"Of course," Haley remarks dryly. "What? Do you need tutoring too?"

Brooke wrinkles her nose and cocks her head, "Um...no. I hate school."

Haley eyes her for a moment before responding, "What can I do for you, Brooke Davis?"

"Well," Brooke starts excitedly, "since you asked, New Bestest Pal..."

"Say what?" Haley interrupts, confusion evident in her tone.

"Well, it seems only right that you would introduce your new best friend to your old best friend," Brooke explains.

"Wait," Haley interrupts. "You want me to introduce you to Lucas? Brooke, you're one of the most popular girls in school. I'm pretty sure he knows who you are."

"You'd think, right?" Brooke's smile fades slightly. "He's not interested. I keep sending the signals, but it's like the receiver isn't on."

Haley lets out a laugh and begins moving in the direction of her next class with Brooke hot on her heels.

"Okay," Haley nods in understanding. "I get it. But, Brooke, Lucas is a really nice guy. Why don't you just talk to him yourself? You don't need me."

"He really respects you, Haley. I heard him talking about you the other day. If you mentioned something, I know he'd listen."

"Listen, Brooke. If you're really interested in Lucas, that's one thing. But if you're just looking for casual..." Haley trails off.

"There's something about him," Brooke breaks in dreamily. "I don't know what it is, I just...need to explore it."

A moment passes and then Haley nods finally.

"I'll see what I can do."

* * *

Letting out an impatient breath, Haley taps the end of her pencil against the table and watches as the second hand crawls towards the twelve for the seventeenth time. Still no sign of Nathan. Shaking her head in annoyance, Haley slams her English book shut and begins packing up her belongings.

A shrill giggle tears through the silence in the room and suddenly Nathan is standing in the doorway, the lanky brunette wrapped around him once again.

"You're late," Haley announces loudly, unconcerned with the fact that she's interrupting their make-out session.

Tearing his lips from the seeking mouth of his partner, Nathan looks up and gives Haley a grin, "Hey...Haley," he recalls. "This is Carrie." "Carrie," he gestures, "this is Haley."

Haley looks up, skepticism written in her eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Carrie."

Looking Haley up and down, Carrie glances to Nathan and then back again before snickering, "Right." Turning to face Nathan, she plants a kiss on his lips and murmurs, "I'll see _you _later." Then turning on her heel without a second glance at Haley, she practically skips out of the tutoring center.

"Wow," Haley murmurs sarcastically. "She's a real keeper. You have the practice test I assigned last time?"

Nathan shrugs as he takes a seat and begins tugging his books from his backpack. Locating a crumpled packet in the side pocket of his backpack, he hands it over.

"So how about you? You have a boyfriend?" he questions in an attempt to act interested.

"Nope," Haley replies instantly without looking up, her red pen swirling over the equations he'd half-heartedly completed.

Shrugging, he lets his eyes wander over the various posters on the walls of the Tutoring Center. "Well, don't worry. It'll happen."

"I'm really not concerned," she replies, still marking his practice test.

"I'm sure there's a guy out there for you," he continues charitably.

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," she responds dryly. Sighing heavily, she caps her pen and looks him in the eye.

Nathan smiles confidently, "How'd I do?"

"Did you even do the homework, Nathan?"

He shrugs, "I was busy. Besides, I knew you'd help me with my homework."

Haley heaves a frustrated sigh and shakes her head.

"What?" Nathan wonders.

"I'm not here to do you work for you," she says irritably. "And I'm not here to hold your hand through every little assignment. If you can't hold up your end of the bargain, then I can't help you."

Nathan rolls his eyes and mutters, "Don't you think you're being a little bit of a drama queen? I mean, you're acting all pouty over the fact that I didn't do a few math problems." He gives her a cutting look before he continues, "I have a lot going on! Some of us don't just hang around and do equations for fun."

"You mean the equations that you need to do in order to play basketball?" Haley argues.

"I don't need math for basketball," Nathan hisses.

"And if something happens to keep you from playing basketball someday?" she counters. "What then?"

"Not gonna happen," he returns cockily.

Haley sits for a moment, her gaze fixed on his smirking face. "No? Well, then neither is this," she says gesturing to the books scattered across the table. Then in a flash, she's packing up and walking briskly away.

* * *

Haley is so blinded by her own fury as she approaches Lucas that she scarcely notices the bubbly brunette who is leaning flirtatiously against his locker.

"Tutor Girl!" Brooke exclaims excitedly. "Long time no see."

Haley smiles wanly at the other girl before immediately turning to Lucas. "You've got to talk to your brother!" she demands immediately.

Lucas grimaces at the awkwardness of hearing Nathan referred to as his brother.

"Jeez, Haley," he complains. "Don't call him that."

"Well, you're the one who was so desperate for me to help him out!" she reminds him.

"For the _team_, Hales."

"Whatever," she mutters.

"Okay, what's the problem?"

"He's a jerk," she vents. "That's the problem!"

Lucas gives her a small smile and prods, "Could you be more specific? He's a jerk about 99 percent of the time."

"Well, he's rude! And he treats me like crap! And I'm not really inclined to do favors for people who act as though their mere presence is a favor to the world!"

Brooke chuckles, "You'll have to take a number and go to the back of the complaint line, Tutor Girl. That's Nathan Scott's mode of operation." She shrugs, "At least he's hot, right?"

Haley sends a glare in Brooke's direction before huffing angrily and turning on her heel. "Oh yeah," she calls back over her shoulder. "I almost forgot to tell you, Luke. I talked to Brooke and she wants to date you. Apparently there's just something about you she can't resist...God only knows what that might be."

"Haley!" Brooke calls out indignantly before turning to Lucas with a shrug and a sheepish smile. "I kind of hate her right now."

"Really? Because I find this news to be quite interesting," Lucas remarks with a grin.

Brooke quirks an eyebrow, "Like I said, I kind of _love_ her right now."

* * *

Glancing at her watch once more, Haley sighs and begins packing up her things. It's closing in on four and there's still no sign of Nathan for his three o'clock appointment.

Suddenly the door bursts open and Nathan appears with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Sorry I'm late," he offers.

"Nathan, where have you been? Are you okay?"

Nathan nods, "Oh, I'm fine. I was just...uh...making some last minute arrangements for tonight. There's this party..." he explains.

Haley opens her mouth, about to question him some more when she spots the oddly shaped mark on his neck. And then she sees a red smudge on his collar.

"Are you kidding me, Nathan?! I waited for almost an hour so I could help you out and you're off hooking up with some skank?! Wait, let me guess...Carrie?"

"Are you jealous?" Nathan wonders in disbelief.

For a split-second, Haley feels like her head might _actually _explode. He truly doesn't get it.

"No, Nathan," she replies very calmly. "I'm not jealous. Not everything I say, do, think, or want has to do with you. As a matter of fact, hardly any of what I say, do, think, or want has to do with you. I know this is a foreign concept to you, but you're a very small piece of the puzzle that is my life. And quite frankly, I'm beginning to wish you weren't a piece of my life at all! I would explain this concept to you in greater detail, but you're already late and we really don't have time."

"I lost track of time," Nathan explains casually. "Things got a little heated and...well, you wouldn't understand."

"Oh, I wouldn't?" Haley questions, her hands on her hips.

"Well, you don't really strike me as the spur of the moment, passionate type, Haley."

"Right. Right," Haley nods, "because I'm a tutor. So I never have any fun or do anything spontaneous. And apparently I have no feelings and I'm not deserving of any consideration!" she yells.

"Haley, calm down," Nathan urges.

"I'm not going to calm down!" she cries. "I'm done! I'm beyond sick of this bullshit and I'm not doing it anymore!"

"Is this about...?" he gestures back towards the door.

Haley flies off the handle.

"No, this is not about your and your little fling!" she cries angrily. Raising her hands up in front of her, she makes a motion as though she's strangling someone and then bounces several times on the balls of her feet before releasing a very loud sigh. "Okay," she starts, trying to take a deep breath. "Let's see if I can make you understand. I am _not _jealous of Carrie or Candy or Cookie or any of the other millions of girls you hook up with on a nightly basis. I'm. Not. Interested."

Nathan takes a step back when he sees the look of absolute fury on her face. "But you told Lucas you'd..."

"That I'd tutor you? I was trying to be _nice_!" she erupts with a bitter laugh. "I'm a nice person. A nice person who has absolutely zero interest in dating Nathan Scott. I don't even _like _you! You're mean, Nathan! You're a jerk and you treat people horribly. I would never want to be friends with someone like you--let alone date someone like you."

At this point, Nathan's look of total bewilderment is replaced by a stormy expression.

"Whatever," he mutters. "I don't have to take this."

"You're right!" Haley exclaims. "So why don't you run along to your little party. I'm sure that what's on your mind anyway."

* * *

"So there's this party..." Lucas starts from where he's seated at Haley's desk.

"Oh God," Haley groans. "Not you too."

Lucas watches, confused by her reaction, before continuing, "Anyway, Brooke wants us to stop by."

"She specifically mentioned me?" Haley inquires skeptically as she seats herself indian-style on her bed.

"Actually, she did," Lucas replies smugly. "She told me she wanted to spend some more time with you."

"Great," Haley mutters. "The new girlfriend wants to get in with the old best friend."

"She's not my girlfriend," Lucas corrects quickly. "And I think that's just Brooke."

"Perky and overeager?" Haley questions cheekily.

"I was going to go with optimistic and outgoing," Lucas replies.

Haley shrugs, "Same difference."

Lucas frowns, "I thought you guys were getting along. You seemed fine the last couple of times she's hung out with us."

Haley shakes her head, "No, you're right. She's fine. She's actually kind of...sweet. In a Brooke kind of way. It's just been a long day."

"But you'll come with me?" he asks hopefully.

Haley rolls her eyes, "Yeah, right. After my blowout with Nathan? The last thing I need is to find myself face-to-face with him in his territory."

"Come on, Hales."

"No thanks, Luke."

"I really need you to have my back on this, Haley. I like Brooke. Like, I really like her. I think there's more to her than she lets on to most people, but I won't find out for sure unless I take the opportunity to spend time with her."

"So go without me," Haley argues.

"Or you could go with me," he suggests once again.

Haley sighs, "Lucas, I really don't want to go."

"Come on, Hales. It'll be fun. You never have any fun."

"Uh, correction. I never have what the basketball team considers to be fun. Fun is a relative term."

"Which means it could take on many forms. Including that of a high school party," Lucas points out slyly.

"You're really not going to give up on this, are you?" Haley questions in a defeated tone.

Lucas just shakes his head and smiles because he knows he's won.

* * *

"This is unacceptable, Nathan! It's your senior year! I don't know what you think you're going to do if you don't get an athletic scholarship. It's not like any school is going to want you for your mind." Dan smirks cruelly when he sees his son's shoulders sink just a bit.

"I'm working on it, Dad. But I can't even play until the next progress report comes out anyway!"

"Doesn't mean you can't be training," Dan remarks. "And it's not like that old coot of a coach really knows anything about preparing an elite player anyway. Hell, he's just been riding our coattails for the past several years."

"Well, I need a team, Dad. It doesn't matter how good I am if I don't have a team. So Whitey is kind of a key factor."

Dan frowns at the thought of the old man and shakes his head, "Maybe I should have thought more seriously about that Oak Lake offer."

Nathan's brow furrows, "What offer?"

Dan smiles condescendingly, "Oak Lake Academy was putting out some feelers for you over the summer. Thought you might like to finish your high school career with the Huskies."

"And you didn't tell me?!" Nathan exclaims indignantly. "Dad!"

"Come on, Nathan! Oak Lake is a college-preparatory academy. Do you really think you would have been able to keep up with your academics _and _basketball?" He snickers, "Although if I'd known my son was moronic enough to risk his eligibility even at a podunk public school, I probably would have been more willing to play the odds."

"I'm not a moron!" Nathan growls. "And it wasn't your decision to make. It was my playing they were interested in; it should have been my choice."

Dan takes a long, deep breath and then looks his son in the eye. "Haven't you figured it out yet, son?" he questions calmly. "I'm the reason you've made it this far. Without me, you'd be begging your Uncle Keith for a job at that ridiculous shop of his in Charlotte. I mean, let's be honest here."

Nathan returns the stare and nods, "Yeah, and if I was lucky, I'd be as happy as Uncle Keith. But we both know that's not going to happen." He smirks, "I mean, as long as we're being honest."

"I'm having a party at the beach house tonight," Nathan calls over his shoulder as he heads to the driveway. "But I know you won't wait up."

* * *

"This is a really bad idea," Haley murmurs to Lucas as they walk through the front door of Nathan Scott's beach house. "You didn't tell me the party would be at Nathan's beach house," Haley hisses accusingly.

Lucas raises his hands in defense, "Hey, it's not like I know the address by heart. Do you know how many kids from school have houses down here?"

"Whatever," Haley mutters under her breath. "Just go find Brooke. You know you want to."

Lucas glances over and gives her an appreciative grin before nodding Grinding the toe of her sneaker into the carpeting, she crosses her arms over the front of her t-shirt and begins searching for a corner to hide in for the remainder of the night. After a few moments of surveillance, she sees a small alcove near a hallway that looks promising, and she begins to move in the direction of the secluded spot.

"Tutor Girl! Join us!"

Haley winces at the cheerful tone and glances over to see Brooke sitting on the floor in the opposite direction from where Lucas had gone searching.

Haley shakes her head, "Uh, that's okay, Brooke. Really."

"Aw, don't be shy. Come sit over here," Brooke smiles, patting the area of carpet beside her. "Play with us!"

Haley glances around quickly, looking for any kind of escape from the situation, but she comes up dry. Practically dragging her feet, she makes her way over and lowers herself to the floor next to Brooke.

"What's the game?" she questions uneasily.

"Seven in Heaven!" A blonde named Bevin exclaims. "It's kind of like Spin the Bottle only..."

"Yeah, I get it," Haley mutters as she clasps her hands and waits for the next player to go.

"Ooooh! Go Theresa!" the group cheers as one of the cheerleaders emerges from the closet with a very pleased basketball player in tow.

Great, Haley thinks, I'm now trapped in my worst nightmare.

* * *

Haley is practically yawning at this point and begins looking around distractedly. Over the past half hour, the circle has grown large enough that she has very little chance of the bottle actually landing on her. But more importantly there's very little chance of anyone noticing if she just happens to sneak away. Keeping a close eye on the activities of the circle, she waits until everybody's attention is fixed on the bottle's next chosen pair before she eases away from the ring of participants and flees the room in search of her supposed best friend.

The music is raging and Haley can hear the shouts and cheers of drunken teens echoing throughout the house. She's a little baffled as to what might have happened to Lucas since he'd been so keen on finding Brooke, but she's even more concerned with finding him so she can get the hell out of dodge. Pronto.

Making her way down the main hallway, she hears a chorus of male voices and the unmistakable bellows of obnoxious teenage boys. Stopping beside one of the doors, she pushes it open slightly and finds nearly a dozen basketball players sprawled around an expensively furnished den.

"So," Tim Smith begins, his eyebrows wiggling wildly. "How about your tutor? They say you have to look out for the quiet ones."

Taking a swig of his beer, Nathan frowns at Tim, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Tim shrugs and then winks obviously, "I'm just saying I wouldn't blame you for getting some help with math and then _getting some _on the side."

Rolling her eyes from her place in Jake's arms, Peyton Sawyer rolls her eyes, "God, Tim. You are such a perv!"

Jake chuckles, "Yeah, Haley's got more class than that."

"It's not really her class I'd be concerned about," Nathan remarks snidely.

"What?!" Tim exclaims innocently. "She could be hot. Maybe."

Groaning loudly, Nathan punches Tim solidly in the arm and shakes his head at the small crowd of guys. "No way," Nathan denies adamantly. "There's no way anything will ever happen there. I mean...look at her." He curls his features distastefully. "Does she really look like somebody I'd put time and energy into? The girl's never even heard of a good time."

Tim shrugs skeptically, "Whatever you say, man."

"She's my tutor!" he argues. "It would be like being forced to kiss a librarian or...or a teacher! Besides," he continues, "she's a total prude."

"Whereas you are a total whore," Peyton states dryly. "And maybe the world's biggest jerk."

"Whatever, Peyton," Nathan starts in, backing off when he sees the protective look in Jake's eyes. "I'm just saying...she's a total bitch. It's no wonder no guy has ever wanted to go there. I mean, who knows what you'd find underneath all those...sweaters."

Haley stands frozen in place, totally unable to remove herself from the situation. She feels a familiar ache in her throat and the stinging blur of tears in her eyes, but she's unprepared for the throb she feels in her heart. She isn't quite sure why his words hurt her so badly. She really doesn't like him. Actually she can't imagine anyone she dislikes more than Nathan Scott. But she can't believe that anyone could think...let alone say...such horrible things about her. She's always been the nice girl. The one that's always gotten along with everyone. The one who's always been above the pettiness of high school gossip.

As the guys are laughing it up at her expense, it's Peyton who spots Haley in the doorway.

"Haley..." Peyton starts, obviously trying to find the words to make the situation okay.

Nathan scowls, "What's _she_ doing here?"

"I...I was just looking for Lucas. I'm sorry," she mumbles awkwardly before tearing herself away from the mortifying scene. She stops just a few steps down the hallway in an attempt to collect herself, and she turns when she hears footsteps approaching.

"Haley," Peyton says gently. "He's an asshole. A total prick. Don't listen to a word he says."

Haley shakes her head and gives Peyton a small smile, "It's okay. I've...I've gotta go. Tell Luke I walked home?"

Peyton starts to argue, but Haley whirls around and is halfway to the front door before she has a chance to try and change her mind. Returning to face the group of somber and guilt-stricken boys, she hisses, "You guys are all a bunch of assholes!"

Hurrying out of the room, Peyton goes in search of a certain brunette. If there's anyone who can get a point across, it's Brooke.

* * *

"Nathan Scott, I'm going to kick your ass!" Brooke snarls when she finds him just ten minutes later, hooting and hollering over a game of NBA Live with his buddies.

Nathan looks up and grins, "Um, okay. But can we take it to the bedroom?"

Lunging forward, Brooke starts swinging her hands wildly, striking him with little slaps on his face and his arms. "You are such an asshole!"

The group of guys begin whistling and yelling in amusement as they watch Nathan ducking and raising his arms in an attempt to shield himself from Brooke's wrath. Finally, she ceases with the slaps and reaches out to grab him by the ear. Ignoring his yells, Brooke gives his ear a tug and begins dragging him away from the crowd that's formed.

Finally wrenching himself free from her grasp, he turns around with a look of disbelief, "What the fuck was that?! Jesus, Brooke! What's your problem?"

"My problem is _you, _you bastard!" she yells. "God, you really don't get it, do you? You just humiliated Haley James! You ruined her night--possibly more--and you didn't even know it."

"What are you talking about, Brooke? And why are you so concerned with little goody two-shoes Haley?"

"Because she's a nice person, Nathan. Something we don't have enough of in Tree Hill."

"Look, I haven't done anything wrong tonight," Nathan defends himself. "I was just being honest and--"

"And you had to explain why she's just so undesirable?" Brooke interrupts. "You know, something along the lines of how Haley is so much better than you and you wouldn't want her to stoop to the low of ever being with a moron like you would have worked just fine." She snorts, "It would have been true too."

"I'm not a moron!" he roars. "And since when are you a part of the Haley James fan club?"

"She's a good person, Nate. A really good person. Not like most of the people we hang out with."

"So I keep hearing," Nathan slurs drunkenly. "I have yet to see this legendary goodness for myself. I just really don't understand why everyone has such a hard-on for her."

"She's still tutoring you, isn't she?" Brooke yells. "Most sane people would have run for the hills and claimed the excuse of self-preservation by now."

Nathan stares at her, baffled.

"God," Brooke groans. "I really think I might actually throw up right this moment." She shakes her head in disbelief before continuing, "You really don't get how horrible you can be, do you?"

"There are about a dozen girls inside that would disagree with you on that one," Nathan responds arrogantly.

"Yeah," Brooke replies. "I'm sure they want to be with you because you're just _such _a nice guy."

Nathan watches her blankly.

Brooke shakes her head sympathetically, "You just don't see the bigger picture yet. But you'll figure it out, Nate. Eventually." She smiles bittersweetly, "I know I did."

* * *

Nathan doesn't know what he expects when he walks into the hallway on Monday morning, but he definitely doesn't expect to feel the pang of discomfort that he has when he sees Haley looking so sad and forlorn in front of her locker.

He stops for a moment and weighs his options. Then he fumbles with the straps of his backpack as he approaches, his head ducked low as he readies himself to do something he's never done before.

"Hey, uh, I'm sorry about the other night, Haley. My dad was really grinding me and I, uh, had too much to drink, but I didn't mean to--"

Haley flushes and shakes her head fervently, "Please, let's just forget it."

"But really, Haley--"

"Forget it, Nathan!" she commands sharply. "I don't want to talk about it. Really."

"Okay," he concedes quietly. "So I guess I'll see you this afternoon?"

With a quick glance into his eyes, she slams her locker shut and turns away without responding, her eyes low as she walks through the hallway.

Nathan is left nodding to himself.

* * *

Nathan glances down at his watch and moves just a little bit faster. He really has no desire to see Haley go postal again and he's already one minute late. Hurrying through the hallway, he fights against the flow of students who are headed for the exit until he arrives breathlessly in the doorway of the tutoring center. Glancing around at each of the various tables, he feels a small sense of triumph when he realizes he's earlier than Haley for their appointment.

"Uh, Nathan?"

Nathan turns at the sound of his name and comes face to face with the bespectacled face of an overweight guy he doesn't recognize.

"Hi, I'm Robbie. Uh, I guess I'll be taking over your tutoring from now on. So...uh...you're working on English and Geometry, right?"

Nathan stares for a moment before finding the words to respond, "Where's Haley?"

There's a clicking noise coming from Robbie's mouth before he answers and Nathan realizes he's playing with the retainer in his mouth. Gross.

"Oh, uh, Haley won't be available to tutor you anymore. You've been reassigned."

"But why?"

There's the clicking sound again. Robbie shrugs.

"Do you think we could get started?" Robbie questions. "I have to leave in less than an hour."

Nathan glances around the room before shrugging defeatedly, "Yeah, okay."

* * *

Her neighborhood is older and the houses are smaller than what he's used to. The street is narrow and the trees tower on either side, creating a canopy over the road. He pulls over when he spots a mailbox marked with the number he'd gotten from Lucas. Leaning over, he looks out through the passenger side window of his car. Her house is one of the larger ones on the street, but the blue paint is faded and the front porch looks rickety.

He's slow in making his way to the front door of the house, but when the front door opens and she appears, he feels his anger rekindle.

Haley looks startled to see Nathan standing on her front step, but she quickly recovers and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Can I help you?" she questions coldly.

"What's your problem?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that I just finished a tutoring session with a tutor who is most definitely a guy. With a loud retainer."

Haley grimaces slightly, "So they assigned you to Robbie."

"Yeah. And I found that interesting since I thought I already had a tutor."

Haley shrugs, "I didn't think you'd care."

"Well," Nathan pauses, "I just don't think it's very responsible for you to bail on me halfway through the semester."

"I'm sorry, Nathan," Haley says calmly. "I honestly wasn't under the impression that it would be a big deal if I quit."

"Well, it is!" Nathan exclaims. "I don't like change."

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I already told you I'm sorry."

"Well, will you come back?"

Haley lets out a wry laugh and shakes her head, "No, I won't."

"Haley, I can't handle listening to Robbie clicking his retainer for another session."

"Well, you're going to have to," Haley remarks. "Or no basketball."

"Why are you being so difficult about this?" he demands. "What do you have to do that's so important?"

"Oh, I don't have anything to do."

Nathan is silent for a moment, surprised by this admission. "Then why won't you tutor me?"

"Because, Nathan, I don't like tutoring you. You're rude and inconsiderate and arrogant. You act as though I should feel privileged to be spending time around you, but you've never once said thank you to me for all of the time I've spent trying to help you."

"That's not true," Nathan argues.

"Okay, Nathan. It's not true," Haley sighs.

Before Nathan knows it, his rage has kicked in.

"Well, maybe if you weren't such a bitch always looking down your nose at everyone else. You just act like you're so above everyone else. You're not special! You're just a tutor! You act like you're above worrying about social status or nice clothes or make-up. You know, maybe if you worried a little more about fitting in, you'd have more friends. Or a date now and then!"

Haley rears back and looks up at him in surprise. "Maybe I don't worry about those things because I'm not in a position to be concerned about the latest brand of jeans or purses. Has it ever occurred to you that I have bigger problems? And that's always been okay with me because nobody has ever made me feel like I was any less just for being who I am." She pauses for a moment to collect her thoughts and then gives him a meaningful look. "This is why I can't tutor you anymore, Nathan. Because nothing is ever your fault. You're never responsible for anything. You destroy everything in your path and then look back and wonder what happened. I just...I can't deal with that. I won't."

And for the first time in his life, Nathan Scott has a door slammed in his face.

* * *

Lucas doesn't hear the SUV pull up on the lawn adjacent to the court. Huffing slightly, he continues his task of shooting three-pointers from every point across the arc of the three-point line. The jangle of the ball sliding through the chain-net is satisfying and he grins to himself as he jogs over to retrieve the ball.

"What's up with your friend, man?"

Lucas looks up abruptly and pauses when he sees Nathan standing next to the hoop with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What do you mean?" Lucas questions cluelessly.

"She didn't show today. And when I went to talk to her she slammed the door in my face. _After _I apologized."

Lucas shakes his head. "Oh boy. What'd you do?"

Nathan looks indignant. "What do you mean what did I do? How do you know I did anything?"

"Because Haley loves tutoring," Lucas replies. "If she removed herself from the schedule and she's slamming doors it's because she's royally pissed."

"Well, she has a lot to be pissed about," Nathan replies cockily. "It's not my fault she's such a shrew. I don't know how you could ever be best friends with that. She's on my ass about every little thing. If I miss one homework problem, she bitches about it. If I bomb a practice test, she bitches about it. Like it's my fault I haven't learned."

Lucas stares in disbelief as he gets just a small taste of what Haley has been dealing with. Damn, the girl really is a saint.

"Do you hear yourself?" Lucas asks. "You're saying you don't do your homework and then you don't do well on exams. Do you suppose there might be a connection there? You have to do the work, Nathan. Haley's just there to help."

"Well, it's not like she's got much else going on," Nathan replies carelessly.

"Actually," Lucas starts in angrily. "She's got a hell of a lot going on. Did you know that Haley volunteers her time at the tutoring center?" He pauses for effect. "Volunteering is when you do something without getting--"

"I know what it means, asshole." Nathan interrupts.

"Well, she volunteers there. And she works close to full time at my mom's cafe. She also started a Big Brothers/Big Sisters program here on campus and she's president of Tree Hill High's Honor Society. Did you know that her mom was sick last year?"

Nathan looks confused and shakes his head.

"Yeah," Lucas continues. "Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. Haley's dad had to keep working to keep their health insurance and to offset some of the medical bills, so Haley had to take care of her mom. She had to be the one in the waiting room when her mom went in for surgery, and she had to be the one to take her mom to and from chemo sessions. And after all of this? She's _still_ number one in our class. She's going to be valedictorian."

"Oh." Nathan clears his throat awkwardly at having learned such an enormous amount of personal information about his tutor.

"In case you can't tell, Haley doesn't make excuses. She gets the job done. So you'll have to pardon me if I don't feel bad that she refuses to accept any less from you. Look, Nathan, I'm glad that you and I...don't hate each other anymore. And I know we're technically brothers," he fumbles awkwardly over the word, "but Haley has been like a sister to me for the past ten years. If you mistreat her, you and I are going to have a problem. So from now on, I think it's best if we just steer clear of the subject of Haley altogether. Cool?"

Nathan nods gruffly, "Fine."

* * *

"Hales?" Lucas calls as he steps out onto the rooftop of his mom's cafe. The sun has just dipped behind the horizon and Lucas can see that the strands of twinkling lights are already illuminating the makeshift golf course. After a moment, he finally sees Haley stretched out atop the picnic table, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes fixed on the stars overhead.

"Hey, buddy. You okay?" he inquires gently, nudging her side as he lowers himself onto the bench next to her.

Reaching up to swipe at a solitary tear, Haley sniffles and lets out a laugh, "It's fine, Luke. I'm fine. Just let it be known that I officially despise Nathan Scott. From this moment forward he doesn't exist. I don't want to hear you talk about him and I definitely don't ever want to spend time around him."

"You got it."

Haley turns over to her side and eyes him skeptically. "You're just giving in that easily?" she asks.

He shrugs, "Consider it a gesture of apology."

"Apology?" Haley echoes in confusion.

"For making you work with him."

Haley shakes her head and brushes off the thought with a wave of her hand. "It's not your fault he's the root of all evil and the cause of all that's wrong in the world," she remarks innocently.

Lucas lets out an amused chuckle, "Whatever you say, Hales."

"You don't believe me?"

"I've just never seen you allow someone to get you quite this worked up. Usually you just fire back with all you've got."

"I've never had someone act like such a complete and total jackass before."

"Fine," Lucas responds with a teasing smile. "But I'm telling you right now, if it comes down to being his best man or your...man of honor at your wedding, I'm definitely on your side of the church."

Haley freezes for a moment before giving him a look of complete repulsion. "That's the most horrifying thing you have ever said to me, Lucas Scott!" she cries out before giving him a punch in the shoulder. "Bite your tongue!"

"I'm just calling 'em as I see 'em, Hales. Nothing more."

Giving her a stern look, she shakes her head before looking skyward once again.

"Hey, Hales?"

"What?"

"Promise me something."

Haley rises onto her elbows and looks at him oddly. "Promise you what?"

"Promise me that you'll only ever be with someone who loves you. I mean, really loves you. Because that's what you deserve."

Haley colors slightly at the sincerity behind his words. Sure, they talk about things all the time, but this is personal--even for them. She nods, "Sure. Okay, Luke."

"I mean it, Hales."

"And how am I supposed to know if he _truly _loves me?" she questions with a dramatic flourish of the hand. "Because we both know that in a few years there's going to be a long line of amazingly handsome and intelligent men wanting to sweep me off my feet."

Haley giggles at the ridiculousness of the image she's just described, but Lucas only smiles faintly. He has a feeling that her prediction, however tongue-in-cheek, won't be far from the truth. "Well, Hales. There's actually an exact science to figuring out whether a guy truly loves you. And because you're my best friend, I'm going to let you in on the secret."

Haley rises on her elbows once again and raises a hand to her heart, "Oh, please do fill me in, Oh Great Master of Romance!"

Lucas smiles, "Well, he'll always make sure you're warm when you're sleeping, no matter where you're sleeping. And he'll really try to remember to put the toilet seat down so you don't fall in."

Haley laughs.

"He'll let you pick the movie even if it means watching _Sleepless in Seattle _for the millionth time. And he'll tell you you're beautiful even when you know you look like shit...but he'll really mean it."

"Gee thanks," Haley mutters.

Lucas holds up his hand to indicate he's not finished. "But the most important sign, the one that absolutely proves that a guy is really in love with you is when he lets you eat off his plate."

"What?!" Haley exclaims, laughing at the absurdity of the statement.

Lucas shrugs, "Laugh if you want, but there isn't much a guy loves more than food. If he's willing to let you eat off his plate, you've got him hook, line, and sinker."

"And how did you become so wise?'

Climbing onto the picnic table, Lucas stretches out beside her and shrugs, "I'm a writer, Hales. I know these things."

Several moments pass and the two stare silently at the clear night sky, relishing in the companionable silence that exists between them. Finally, Haley breaks through the quiet.

"Hey, Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I still hate your brother."

He smiles to himself, "Whatever you say, buddy."

* * *

"Congratulations, Haley!"

Haley smiles and waves in the general direction of the cheer and continues wading through the the sea of blue caps and gowns in an effort to locate Lucas.

"There's the beautiful valedictorian! Haley! Over here!"

Haley smiles when she sees Karen waving her over to the small crowd that's formed around Lucas. She's dismayed, however, when she sees that Nathan and Lucas are currently posing for a photo together. Although Lucas has kept his promise and has managed to keep his relationships with Haley and Nathan completely separate, it hasn't always been easy for the trio.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Deb Scott exclaims as she snaps the photo.

Dan Scott is standing just at the edge of the group, a stormy look on his face as he watches his sons acting almost as if they are brothers. "I don't know why you're all celebrating like this," he announces spitefully. "The kid barely graduated. He's just lucky my connections at Duke were willing to overlook his terrible grades."

And with that simple comment, Nathan feels the joy of the occasion being sucked right out of the atmosphere. His mom smiles tightly as she adjusts the settings on her camera, and Karen glances over disapprovingly--probably relieved that she escaped Dan Scott when she had the chance. Nathan can feel the tension building and spreading throughout his body, but then Lucas claps him on the back.

"Let it go, man," Lucas mumbles. "He's trying to take this away from you. Don't let him."

Nathan nods tersely and turns when he sees Haley passing by out of the corner of his eye.

"Hales!" Lucas exclaims. "Hey Mom, can you get one of Haley and me?" he asks Karen.

Haley allows herself to be ushered forward and suddenly finds herself in the center of the group with her arms around Lucas. After several shots have been taken, Haley hears Deb break in.

"Nathan, let's get one of you with Haley!"

Panicked, Haley turns to see Nathan step forward, prepared to placate his mother. He gives Haley a quick once-over, surprised by what he sees. In honor of the occasion, it seems she's somehow added a bit of curl to her hair. Her eyes look bigger--wider somehow--and her lips have just the tiniest bit of gloss. She looks...well, really pretty.

Almost immediately after Deb speaks, Haley takes a step back and shakes her head.

"That's okay, Mrs. Scott. I'm sure Nathan would rather have a photo with his friends. And I promised Brooke and Peyton I would submit to their brand of camera torture on this momentous occasion." She turns to Lucas, "Luke, we'd better get over there before your girlfriend has a conniption fit."

"Haley--" Nathan starts off, slightly embarrassed by her obvious unwillingness to be anywhere near him. "It's just a stupid photo."

"No thanks," she says firmly. Then, offering a faint smile to Deb and giving a small wave to Karen and Lucas, she turns on her heel and walks away.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without her at the cafe next year." Karen remarks conversationally as she watches Haley go. "One thing I do know...that girl is going to have the world in the palm of her hand someday."

Nathan stands, a bit shocked at being so obviously shunned. As he watches her go, he can't ignore the nagging feeling that Karen is right. He doubts this is the last he'll see or hear of Haley James. And suddenly he can't help but think that he's made some kind of huge mistake.


	2. The Loss

Thank you so much for the reviews. I wasn't sure whether anyone would really be interested in this, but I hope there are at least a few people enjoying it. As you can see, I tend to write long chapters so you'll probably notice about two or three weeks between updates. I have a rough draft of the entire story done, but I find myself making a lot of adjustments as I prepare each chapter. As I mentioned before, this fic will include time-jumps and this is the first one. This chapter was a bit of a challenge for me since I'm looking forward to the chapters _after _this one, but I hope you enjoy it just the same.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to One Tree Hill--not the characters, not the stories, not the music, and not the names.

**The World You Desire Can Be Won**

**The Loss**

_**Five Years Later**_

"Ladies and Gentleman, we've been cleared for take-off. Once we've reached our cruising altitude, our flight team will be around to serve complimentary snacks and beverages. Please keep your seatbelts fastened for as long as the 'Fasten Seatbelts' sign is on, and please be cautioned that it is against federal regulation for a line to be formed at the lavatory. On behalf of Coastal Airlines, we hope you enjoy your flight."

Nathan Scott squirms against the leather of his seat and kicks his legs out in front of him, groaning as he upsets his bulkily wrapped knee. He'd made quite a picture in the airport this morning. Dressed in warm-ups, his knee the size of a basketball--no pun intended--and wobbling around the terminal on his crutches, he'd barely been able to get himself onto the plane. And now that he's finally here, he doesn't even want to think about getting up again. Thank goodness for the extra leg-room of first class. He doesn't know what he'd do if he had to fold himself into one of the seats in coach.

"Sir? Is there anything I can get you before we depart?" A bright face appears in his line of sight and he fights the urge to grimace at the flight attendants cheery demeanor.

"Scotch on the rocks?" he grumbles dryly.

"I'm afraid we're not serving drinks just yet," the flight attendant chirps happily, "but I'll be sure to bring you one just as soon as we've reached our cruising altitude."

"Yeah, thanks," he mutters absently.

"And what brings you to North Carolina?" she questions in a perky tone, her eyes wide with interest as she leans against his seat. "Vacation?"

Great, he thinks. She obviously knows who he is. And she obviously doesn't follow the news.

"No," Nathan replies shortly. "A funeral."

The smile is almost immediately wiped from her face. "Oh. I...I'm so sorry, sir."

Nathan shakes his head dismissively before turning to fix his eyes on the view from the plane's small window. He hears soft footsteps fading away and doesn't dare turn his head until he knows he's alone at last. He wraps his hands around the ends of his armrests and grips tightly when he feels the plane power forward, the momentum pressing him into the leather of his seat. He hasn't visited Tree Hill by himself for nearly two years, but he supposes now is as bad a time as any.

* * *

Haley James tilts the paper cup until she's drained the last of the lukewarm contents into her waiting mouth. She knows better than to think that coffee will solve all of the numerous problems she's currently facing, but it sure does a damn good job of making her feel like she's in control. It's been her secret since her second year of college when she was the first-ever sophomore to be selected as a TA for Professor Gladden's freshman writing seminar. Her terrible nerves hadn't disappeared, but she'd at least felt that she _looked _the part of a university intellectual once she'd held the mug in her hand. A cup of coffee never fails to make her feel collected and in control--two things she desperately wishes to feel right this very moment.

After tossing the paper cup into the trash, she readjusts the leather strap of her bag, slings it back over her shoulder, and takes a deep breath as she begins sorting through the people waiting in the arrivals section of the airport. She scans the crowd for several moments, both anticipating and dreading the familiar faces she's expecting. While she loves that she has managed to keep in touch with her friends from high school over the past five years, she wishes desperately that they could all be getting together on better terms. She's been hanging on by a thread since she received the news and she's certain that the flood of memories she'll have upon seeing her friends will only make the harsh reality just that much more unbearable.

"Haley!"

With another quick scan of the crowd, she spots the somber faces of Jake and Peyton standing near a crowded newsstand. Rushing forward and dodging other travelers, she pulls each of them into a quick hug and offers a halfhearted smile. Taking a step back, she releases an exhausted sigh and feels her composure start to slip away. Biting into her lip, she tries her damnedest to pull herself together.

"It's good to see you guys," she remarks honestly, her voice shaking ever so slightly. And she's telling the truth. Despite their saddened expressions, Jake and Peyton look composed and comfortable with one another--ever the storybook couple. While Jake is still sporting his patented just-rolled-out-of-bed look, Peyton is looking surprisingly sleek and put-together in a silk blouse and trouser jeans. A far cry from the wild-haired girl who refused to change out of her torn jeans and band t-shirts.

"Just not under these circumstances. Yeah, I get it." Peyton responds. "How was your flight?"

Haley sighs as she looks down at her rumpled sweater and then attempts to smooth the wrinkles from her jeans. "Long," she remarks simply.

"You look good, Haley," Jake comments in a friendly tone.

"Are you kidding?" Haley groans. "I'm a disaster. I've been like a robot for the past two days. And I wasn't sure they'd let me on the plane considering the amount of baggage I'm carrying beneath my eyes." She pauses for just a second and sobers before she continues. "How's Brooke?"

Peyton glances up at Jake, her concern apparent in her eyes. Looking back at Haley, she nods pointedly toward a row of chairs lining the wall. Following Peyton's gaze, Haley's heart breaks even more at the sight of her devastated friend. She glances over at Jake and Peyton with a small smile of acknowledgment and then approaches Brooke's slouched form.

Haley pauses for just a moment as she takes in the sight of the incorrigibly sunny girl in a truly fractured state. Over the years, Brooke Davis has become a true friend. Though Haley's high school self would never in a million years have predicted it, helping to set up Brooke and Lucas had made a world of difference in each of their lives. Brooke provided the light to Luke's darkness. Lucas somehow managed to ease Brooke's flighty ways. She helped him to realize that life isn't necessarily a linear series of stops on a carefully planned itinerary while he managed to prove that a little bit of direction doesn't mean a total sacrifice of freedom. And somewhere along the line, Haley and Brooke had become friends and confidantes who could complain about Luke's boyish habits and cheer each other on in their respective pursuits.

Brooke looks up sharply as she hears the tapping of Haley's heels and her face immediately crumples upon seeing her friend. She pushes herself to her feet, staggering with the effort as though she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, and then shrugs dejectedly at Haley's sympathetic expression.

"I don't understand," Brooke whispers, her throat obviously dry and cracked, probably from so many hours of sobbing her heart out.

"I know," Haley murmurs shakily. "I don't either.'

A split-second passes and then the two are locked in a tight embrace, both crying openly in the middle of the airport. Haley feels her own tears spilling down her face, and Brooke hangs onto fistfuls of Haley's sweater while sobbing wrenchingly on her slim shoulder.

"God, Haley, I don't even know what to do without him," Brooke whispers shakily. "I don't remember who I am without him." She sniffles and lets out a laugh, "Isn't that pathetic? I just...I thought he was always going to be there. I never thought I'd have to be without him. I never worried about being pathetic because I just figured he would always be with me."

Haley nods and brushes her own tears away with a clumsy hand. "We'll be okay," she announces with a false sense of certainty. "But we should get going."

Taking Brooke's hand, she gives it a squeeze and glances back at Jake and Peyton.

"We've got to do this," she says determinedly. "For Lucas."

* * *

"Here you go, sir."

Glancing up, Nathan nods tersely as the flight attendant lowers his tray table and sets a beverage on a cocktail napkin. Closing his eyes with a burdened sigh, he wonders if maybe his exhaustion will finally catch up with him. It's been three days since Lucas showed up on his doorstep, and it's been nearly as long since he's had even an hour of sleep. Glancing casually around the cabin, Nathan notes his fellow first-class passengers. There's the well-dressed elderly couple in one corner, a businessman tapping away on his laptop in another, a dozing woman who is using her Louis Vuitton bag as a pillow, and finally the heavy-set gentleman reading a newspaper just across the aisle.

Nathan's cursory glance freezes upon the headline that seems to be shouting through the bold, black font.

_**NBA STAR INVOLVED IN FATAL ACCIDENT**_

_Car accident claims one life. Police say alcohol is involved. Doctors say Nathan Scott will recover._

Nathan takes a swig from his drink and shakes his head disbelievingly. The reminders are everywhere. Reminders that he survived. That he's going to be just fine. That he was the lucky one. And now the horrible night has been publicized for anyone's criticism or speculation.

Three days.

All it's taken is three days to completely ruin the normalcy and pseudo-happiness he'd managed to carve out for himself. Actually, he realizes, all it had really taken was about three seconds.

_"So how's it going, man? Keeping busy?"_

_Lucas grins at Nathan and gives him a hearty smack on the shoulder. "Can't complain, little brother."_

_"Because you're wasted?" Nathan smirks._

_"Hey, I am not wasted!" Lucas protests good-naturedly. "Just a little buzzed."_

_"Right," Nathan replies skeptically. "So does Brooke usually encourage you to re-enact that Top Gun bar scene? Or was that just for me? Cause your singing voice? Sucks, man."_

_"As a matter of fact, Brooke loves that movie. So I was just doing that in her honor," Lucas explains grandly. "And at least I wasn't surrounding myself with a harem of half-dressed groupies."_

_Nathan gives his brother a grin and shrugs, "Hey, it's a hazard of the job. Never go to bed with the same girl twice."_

_Lucas scowls, "You're disgusting."_

_"You're jealous."_

_"Nah," Lucas argues. "I'm sad for you."_

_"For me?" Nathan questions skeptically. _

_"Yeah," Lucas nods. "You're so pathetic, you don't even realize you want more."_

_"There are worse things than having some of the world's hottest women fighting over you," Nathan grins._

_"There are better things," Lucas replies simply._

_Nathan rolls his eyes, "Whatever. How's North Carolina?"_

_"The same," Lucas replies. "Although I haven't been there for a couple of weeks. I've been in California." _

_"Don't tell me you're going all surfer boy on me," Nathan groans._

_"Nah, I was out visiting a friend."_

_"Anyone I know?"_

_"I don't think so," Lucas mutters vaguely in an effort to avoid the topic of Haley. "Anyway I figured it wouldn't hurt to make a pit stop in Phoenix."_

_"So really you just need a place to crash, right?" Nathan questions with a smirk._

_"Pretty much," Lucas admits. "Besides, I want to see the kind of lifestyle a professional basketball player leads these days. What are the Suns paying you anyway? Too damn much, I know that for sure."_

_"Whatever, man." Nathan laughs. "You know you're--"_

_The high-pitched trill of horn causes them both to stop and look out the passenger side window where all they see are the fast-approaching headlights. _

_Bright lights. Noise. And then silence._

Nathan jerks forward suddenly, clammy and out of breath as he attempts to calm himself down.

"Are you okay, sir?"

He nods gruffly without meeting the concerned eyes of the flight attendant. He's spent the last 72 hours reliving the accident. He's seen the glare of the headlights and heard the blare of the horn more times than he can count. He's run the scenario through his head and changed every possible variable. What if they'd left the bar a little earlier? A little later? What if they hadn't been so engrossed in their conversation? What if they'd stopped to get something to eat like they'd discussed? But the one question that pounds through his head like a pulsing echo is the one that has kept him up for the past three nights.

What if he hadn't been driving?

* * *

Birds are chirping gaily from the limbs of the generous shade trees. A light gust of wind gently stirs the green tree branches and brushes soothingly across his skin. The grass is soft beneath the soles of his shoes and the ground sinks beneath the tips of his crutches as he moves slowly through the Tree Hill Cemetery. As he approaches the canopy that's been set up for the service, he glances around at what will become his brother's final resting place. They're standing on a slight hill just overlooking the many headstones below. A gnarled tree reaches for the sky, providing ample shade for the visitors just below. It's a spot meant for deep thought and serious reflection.

It's perfect for Luke.

As the service starts, Nathan opts to remain on the periphery of the group. As family, he knows he's allowed, even expected, to stand front and center among the people most touched by the loss of Lucas Scott. Still, something--maybe guilt or shame or even awkwardness--prevents him from making his presence truly known. Instead he watches the many people around him, these people who love Lucas Scott, and he wonders just how such a young person has managed to be so loved, admired, and respected. Then, looking forward, he listens to the words that are supposed to provide comfort--words about what's meant to be, about a better place, about what Lucas would want.

The sun's fierce gaze casts a muted reflection over the glossy surface of the polished casket.

_It's one of those events in life that happens before you know what's going on. And it's over once you finally realize. By the time Nathan realizes there's been an accident, he's already groaning and making a futile attempt to claw his way out of the murkiness of unconsciousness._

_"Lucas!" Nathan cries out, his voice hoarse from the effort. "Lucas! Can you hear me, man? Luke!"_

_Even as he yells, he can't quite find his bearings. He's trapped in the twisted mass of metal that was once his car, and he knows that Lucas is somewhere in the mangled mess as well. He's not sure which way is up or how the car is positioned or whether he can move his limbs. He hears sirens and panicked yells and the groan of metal as the car is broken down piece by piece in an effort to get him out. He hears the steady pulse of a helicopter arriving on the sign and then he hears his name being muttered by the rescue workers when they realize they're pulling Phoenix Suns hotshot Nathan Scott from the wreckage. _

_He doesn't hear his brother._

The gathered mourners form a dark shadow around the casket and the brightly hued clusters of flowers, and Nathan feels frozen as they begin to murmur, "Our father who art in Heaven..."

_"Mr. Scott, you've been seriously injured. I need you to hold still!" the doctor insists as Nathan thrashes his large frame in protest. _

_"My brother!" he cries. "I need to know about my brother! Lucas Scott! What happened to Luke?!" His questions are delivered in rapid-fire succession as his tone grows increasingly hysterical. He feels a cold sting in one arm and immediately yanks from the pain. His sudden movement sends a metal tray crashing to the floor, the clatter ringing loudly in his ears, and then the room begins to grow dim. Blurred halos form around the overhead lights and the features of the many doctors and nurses blend together. _

_"Mr. Scott, we've given you something to help calm you down. Now just relax..."_

He can't take his eyes off of Luke's mom. She's standing beside the grave, her posture rigid and unwavering. A crumpled tissue is poking out from either side of her clenching fist, and he can see the expression of utter disbelief on her face. She's no longer the smiling woman who had welcomed him into her home for the past two Thanksgivings and Christmases. She looks tense and anxious and lost. And Nathan understands.

After all, he's just lost the last of his family as well.

_He can feel a dull ache radiating from...well, everywhere. There are hushed voices in the vicinity and an ever-present blip that just doesn't seem to stop. There's a moment of panic when he opens his eyes to see the generic tan of the hospital wall rather than his usual morning view of the pool just outside his bedroom window. A moment passes and then the memory of the previous night has him scrambling to get out of the bed. _

_"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" a female voice chides. "I don't think you're going anywhere, sweetheart." _

_Nathan turns to see a wholesome looking redhead, probably his mom's age, in printed scrubs. She smiles comfortingly before gesturing to his lower half. Glancing down, Nathan's eyes widen when he sees that his right leg has been thoroughly wrapped and elevated._

_"It could have been a lot worse," the nurse informs him solemnly. "You sustained some major damage to your right knee. I'm your nurse Marcia," she explains. "I'll be in your hair for the next several hours."_

_Nathan pushes his concerns for himself out of his mind and looks imploringly at the woman. "My brother...he was in the accident with me."_

_The sunny smile fades from her face and she pales just the tiniest bit. Reaching over, she pats him supportively. "I should go get the doctor," she announces. "He can answer your questions."_

He's still standing out of the way, almost out of sight, when he realizes that nearly everyone has started to head back to their cars. Moving forward, he drags his fingers slowly over the surface of the casket and murmurs under his breath, "I love you, man."

A single teardrop begins its descent and he hurries, lurching forward with his crutches, anxious to be in his car before his sobs can be heard. One quick glance back and now he can see the slender frames of three females near the gravesite, their hands entwined and their heads together. A brunette stands between two blondes--one on each side.

Brooke, he thinks. And the guilt washes over him yet again.

_"I'm sorry, Mr. Scott. So terribly sorry."_

_"He's...he's gone?" Nathan chokes out from the confines of his bed._

_"We did everything we could," the doctor responds in a defeated manner. "There was just too much damage."_

_"Your mother has been notified and she's on her way," the doctor continues. "My mother?" Nathan questions in confusion. He hasn't spoken to his parents in years. "Oh, you mean Karen."_

_The doctor looks flustered, "Well, I just assumed..." He clears his throat to fill the awkward silence. "Is there anyone we can contact for you, Mr. Scott? We couldn't seem to find information on your next of kin."_

_"No," Nathan answers. "There's nobody. Not anymore."_

As Nathan rushes almost frantically back to his rental car, he spots Karen Roe's petite frame and he hurries after her.

"Ms. Roe!" he calls out.

She stops suddenly and turns, her shoulders squared and her chin lifted as if she's trying to convince those around her that she's doing just fine. But her expression softens when she sees Nathan approaching and he can see some of her bravado start to crumble.

He takes another step closer and begins to speak, "I'm just...I'm so..." And then he chokes on his own words, unable to form anything resembling a coherent bit of English. Before he knows it, he's shaking his head with tears streaming down his face as he struggles gallantly to take a breath.

"Oh, Nathan," she murmurs, her own tears surfacing at the look of devastation on his face. Hurrying forward, she gives his shoulders a tug and manages to wrap her arms around his tall frame. She rubs his back in a maternal gesture unlike anything Nathan has ever experienced with his own mother.

"I'm so glad he had you," Karen whispers tearfully. "I'm so glad you were able to be brothers for the past several years. It meant the world to Lucas. I hope you know that."

"He was my best friend," Nathan admits. "And I'm just so...I'm sorry."

Pulling back, Karen gives his shoulders a squeeze and musters a smile.

"How are you feeling, Nathan?" she questions, gesturing to his crutches.

"I'll be fine," he mutters disgustedly with a shake of his head. "I'll probably stick around here for awhile."

"Well, I want you to make sure to keep in touch," Karen urges kindly. "And come by the cafe while you're here. I want to make sure you're eating properly."

He nods, "I'll do that."

"You'll be okay, Nathan. I know it." She pats him gently on the arm. "I'll see you at the house in just a little bit, right?"

Nathan hesitates. He hadn't planned on going to the wake. The idea of mingling with so many others, of sharing lighthearted Lucas anecdotes, of eating reheated casseroles...none of it appeals to him. Especially when he knows that every person present will be looking at him and asking themselves the same questions he's been asking himself. Like why he's on crutches while Lucas is six feet under.

Still Karen's face is earnest, almost hopeful, and it seems as though her invitation is genuine.

"Sure," he agrees. "I'll be there."

* * *

"It was a beautiful service," Peyton remarks quietly to Jake, Haley, and Brooke as they stand in the kitchen next to a counter full of finger-foods, salads, and casseroles.

Everyone nods silently, each afraid to break the silence with a less than appropriate comment or outburst. Paper plates and plastic cutlery in hand, they each pick halfheartedly at the food on their plates, and they watch as others mill around Karen Roe's small house in an effort to pay their respects.

Haley watches scene, feeling both helpless and antsy. Although she knows that everyone's intentions are pure, there's something so false, so awkward about the situation. No one knows what to say, and yet everyone makes an effort to say something--anything--even if it's wrong. Frustrated, she sighs heavily when she sees yet another person approach Karen, no doubt reminding her of how wonderful her son was and parting with some useless phrase like, "He's in a better place now."

Finally, she's had enough.

Glancing around at her friends, she clears her throat and speaks up, "I'm going to go talk to Karen. I haven't had a chance to see her since I've been in town and I know she's trying hard to be strong, but I have a feeling that all of these people will be more than she can handle on her own. Plus, I want to let her know that I'm going to be sticking around for awhile." She sighs, "I could use the change of scenery."

Her friends nod in understanding as she makes her way over to Karen and then they promptly return to the awkward silence of earlier.

"Hey."

The three friends turn sharply at the simple greeting and their jaws drop in surprise.

"Nathan?" Peyton utters in shock.

"Nate!" Jake exclaims. "How's it going?"

Nathan shrugs, "I've been a lot better."

"It's good to see you, Nate," Brooke says softly. She gestures to his crutches, "How are you feeling?"

Nathan frowns, "Actually, I'm more concerned about how you're doing."

"Not too great," Brooke answers honestly, averting her eyes. She takes a deep breath, "But I'll be okay."

Jake glances out the window at the cars parked along the tree-lined streets of the neighborhood, "I can't believe this turnout."

"There are a lot of people, aren't there?" Brooke questions softly, her voice raspy.

Jake and Peyton both nod fervently and they each grip one of Brooke's hands even tighter.

"Everyone loved Lucas," Peyton murmurs.

"He was a great guy," Jake agrees. "And he loved you like crazy, Brooke."

Brooke offers a watery smile and sniffles slightly, "He kind of did, didn't he?"

"Are you kidding?" Peyton laughs. "He would have done anything for you! Remember when he dressed up like Romeo and tried to scale your dorm room wall?"

Jake lets out a sharp laugh, "And broke his wrist when he fell? Yeah, that was a manly move. He really was whipped."

"What about some of the things he's done for Haley?" Brooke asks laughingly. "You know, I was jealous of them when we first got together. I was convinced that there was something between them."

Peyton snorts with amusement.

"Yeah? What convinced you otherwise?" Nathan inquires curiously. He'd always secretly thought the same thing.

"Well, shortly after Lucas and I started dating, I managed to dress Haley up and convince her to go out with me. When we came down the stairs and Lucas saw her in the outfit I'd chosen, he started screeching and making clawing motions at his eyes. Something about not believing that Haley could have legs or boobs."

"And how'd Haley take that?" Peyton questions knowingly.

Brooke smirks, "She walked up to Lucas, smacked him upside his head, and told him to look the other way unless he wanted her foot up his ass. It was just such a...sisterly thing to do. I knew then we would be friends for life."

"That's our little Haley!" Peyton exclaims.

Nathan chuckles a bit uncomfortably and glances around. "Is she here?" he inquires. He hasn't seen his bookish former tutor for five years and he isn't quite sure now would be most opportune moment.

"Who? Haley?" Brooke asks. "Yeah, she's around here somewhere. I think she's busy with Karen."

"Oh my gosh!" Peyton exclaims suddenly. "Do you remember when Jake and I came down to visit you guys junior year of college?"

"The costume party!" Both girls squeal at once.

"Oh no," Jake mumbles under his breath.

Settling back against the kitchen counter, Nathan makes himself comfortable as Brooke and Peyton begin reminiscing about the good times they've shared with Lucas Scott.

* * *

"It's so good to see you, Haley," Karen remarks with a small smile. "You look wonderful. And I know you're doing great things. You should know...Lucas was so proud of you. And so am I."

Haley nods, her eyes flooding with tears as she leans forward to give the older woman a hug.

"I want you to know," Haley starts, "I'm taking some time off."

"Haley--" Karen starts to protest.

"I need to be here," Haley says firmly. "I want to be here. My professors have agreed to let me finish the semester from Tree Hill. Then I'll have until the fall before I have to return."

"I can't let you do that, Haley. You've got so much going on. Lucas told me how busy you've been."

Haley cringes at this and mentally catalogs all of the times she'd cut conversations short or delayed the returning of Luke's phone calls. Hell, even when he had been visiting just before his accident, she had left him to entertain himself during the day while she went to the library and met with her study groups.

Haley shakes her head, "You're not going to talk me out of it, Karen. I've already got someone to sublet my apartment and my parents know I'll be staying at the house while I'm here. I'm sure you could use some help at the cafe and, quite honestly, I think I could use a little bit of a break. My priorities have gotten a little skewed in the wake of my busy life. I've let some things go that I shouldn't have. And I've gotten so focused on..." she trails off and shakes her head. "Anyway, I think some quiet time in Tree Hill might be just the thing to get me thinking straight again."

"Well, I can't exactly pay the going rate for a soon-to-be lawyer..." Karen warns.

Haley smiles, "The going rate for a used-to-be waitress will be just fine. And this waitress is going to insist that you take some time off in the next couple of weeks. You need to give yourself a break."

Karen watches Haley thoughtfully before shrugging, "I should know better than to try and talk you out of something once you're set on it." She reaches over to pull the younger woman into a hug. "Besides," she continues, "it will be good to have you around for a little while."

Haley nods in satisfaction, "I'll start tomorrow."

Haley is taken a bit by surprise when Karen suddenly reaches over to grab each of her hands. She can feel the slight trembling of the older woman's hands and gives them a comforting squeeze. Looking up, she sees Karen standing with her eyes closed, her head tilted back slightly, as though she's detaching herself from the intensity of the current situation. Finally, her eyes open and she's pulling Haley into another hug.

"I love you, Haley James. You're a wonderful young woman."

Haley leans into their embrace and breathes in Karen's familiar maternal scent. Nodding, she blinks back her own tears and shakily replies, "I learned from the very best."

* * *

Another raucous roar of laughter erupts from the small group as they stand huddled in the kitchen.

"You should have seen his face!" Jake exclaims. "He was so ready to seduce Brooke...and then he finds Tim instead!"

"He never told me that!" Brooke exclaims.

"Well, it probably wasn't one of his finer moments," Jake rationalizes.

There's a slight break in the laughter and the storytelling, but they're each wearing smiles that feel almost foreign to them.

"See?" Brooke questions softly. "This is how it should be. Lucas would love this. I don't want to cry and feel sorry for myself anymore. I want to remember. And laugh at what a dork my boyfriend really was."

The small group laughs at Brooke's frankness, and Peyton lunges forward to give Brooke an impulsive hug.

"When do you go back, Brooke?" Jake questions.

"The day after tomorrow," Brooke answers. "How about you guys?"

"Tomorrow," Peyton replies. "Jake's got class and I've got to get back to the glamorous world of graphic design. Except, you know, I don't actually do much more than get coffee and make copies."

"What about you, Nate?" Jake wonders.

"Well, I don't exactly have to hurry back to work," Nathan gestures toward his leg.

"At least the season's over, right?" Jake points out reasonably.

Nathan nods, "Yeah. But I think I'm going to stick around here for awhile."

"Really?" Brooke remarks disbelievingly. "You?"

Nathan shrugs, "I could use a little bit of a change."

"You're not the only one," Peyton murmurs.

Exchanging a look with Peyton, Brooke raises an eyebrow. "Interesting," she comments neutrally. "Very interesting."

* * *

Anxiety.

It's a feeling he knows better than some people might suspect. Nathan feels a flutter of anxiety as he stands outside of the old brick building just a few days later. Taking a deep breath, he readjusts his crutches and stares for a moment at the familiar sign.

Karen's Cafe.

He's not quite sure where the anxiety is coming from. It's not like he's never been here before. Sure the place was pretty far off the beaten path when he was in high school, but over the past few years, he and Lucas have made themselves quite at home within these walls. Still, he's never been here without his brother and it feels as though he's lost his right to enter. It's almost as if Lucas was his key to this world--this world where people greet each other on the streets, where parents make sure their children get a hearty breakfast, where the quality of the dinner conversation is more important than the quality of the china. It's a world he might as well need a passport to enter.

But Karen had made him promise to keep in touch. It seems only right that he should pay a visit to the local establishment.

A bell chimes as he steps into the dim lighting of the bohemian cafe and he's immediately greeted by the melodiousness of silverware against plates, the sizzle of a grill, and the trickle of brewing coffee. He's slightly disappointed when he doesn't spot Karen, but his stomach rumbles in response to the scent of bacon, so he locates a small table towards the side of the building. He sighs as he lowers himself into the seat of the chair and then carefully rests his crutches against the wall.

As he attempts to get comfortable, his gaze is almost immediately drawn to the petite, fair-haired dynamo who is scurrying around the cafe in animated fashion as she smiles and chats quietly with patrons. She seems familiar, but he can't quite put his finger on who she might be. She's clearly beloved by the regular customers of the establishment and Nathan can't help but notice the golden aura about her. There's something very natural about her, very genuine. Her wavy blonde hair is loosely plaited and trailing over one shoulder as she leans over to wipe a table. She glances up and offers a wave and a bright smile when the bell jingles from over the door, but he also sees something else. His gaze lingers and he sees the exhaustion in her features. There's a slight drag in her step.

He doesn't know who she is, but he does know one thing. She's had a rough go of things lately.

* * *

The bell chimes as yet another customer enters the cafe and Haley fights the urge to scream. It's been years since she last worked as a waitress and she'd forgotten how hard the work could be. The flow of patrons has been non-stop since she opened this morning and she doubts the surge of business will be dying down anytime soon. Despite the hectic nature of the job, it feels good to be doing something so familiar. It's nice to engage in tasks that she knows by heart, and it's comforting to work with people she's known for so many years. Sure, her feet will throb and her shoulders will ache by the end of her shift, but giving Karen a chance to get away is well worth the trouble. The fact that Haley is getting the chance to put some things into perspective doesn't hurt either.

Glancing towards the newest addition to the breakfast crowd, she nearly gasps when she sees the tall, lean figure of a man maneuvering awkwardly with a pair of crutches. He has his back turned as he moves towards an open table at the far end of the cafe, but even from behind, Haley can acknowledge that he's easy on the eyes. He's wearing jeans and a charcoal pullover, and he has a complicated-looking brace on his right knee. Obviously an athlete.

Catching herself slipping into a daydream, Haley scolds herself. Though she's never quite lived up to Brooke and Peyton's expectations of "living life" and "being young", she has a dating history that's both lengthy and colorful. As a teenager, she'd always been told that she would come into her own after high school--that the men would be lined up to date her.

And those people had been right.

Unfortunately, the men who are always lining up tend to fall into the category of either married, stalkerish, or downright deceitful. And while her friends and family are always reassuring her that she'll meet the right man when she least expects it, she's more than a little skeptical.

Quickly turning her attention back to her current table, Haley offers a sunny smile and scratches a few orders onto her notepad.

"We'll have that right out," she assures the family of four before turning away to take the drink order of the most recent arrival.

The floorboards creak beneath her feet as she heads in his direction and she can see that his dark head is still bent over the menu.

"Morning," she offers breathlessly, her smile aimed in his direction. "Are you ready to order?"

Her stomach feels like it falls into her feet when he looks up suddenly and meets her smile with a smirk of his own. With the exception of some added bulk to his frame and some sharpening to angles of his chiseled features, he looks the same. His dark hair is short and cropped close to his head while his eyes are as blue and piercing as ever. His smirk is still teasing and slightly lopsided, and Haley can tell that he's confused by her strong reaction to his presence.

"Busy morning, huh?" he inquires politely.

She can feel her eyes bug slightly at his nonchalant manner, and she grows irritated at his casual acceptance of their first encounter in five years.

He leans forward, a look of concern on his face. "Is something wrong?"

She stares at him, dumbfounded. And then it hits her.

He doesn't know who she is.

It shouldn't bother her. It's been five years after all. But the fact that he doesn't even recognize her? Letting out a laugh that sounds harsh even to her own ears, she rolls her eyes and begins tapping her foot nervously.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she exclaims. Then, catching herself, she shakes her head, "No, no, everything is fine. What can I get for you, _Mr. Scott_?"

* * *

He feels a small rush of excitement when he sees the pretty waitress heading his way. It's not as though there's a shortage of women willing to sleep with Nathan Scott, but if he can find someone to keep him occupied while he's in Tree Hill, he knows it will make his stay all the more enjoyable.

When she finally arrives and greets him with a smile that he feels all the way down to his groin, he offers a grin of his own and watches in surprise as her face falls slightly upon meeting his eyes.

Her eyes narrow in confusion and he can see that she's slightly flustered. It's a reaction he's used to receiving from females of all ages, shapes, and sizes, but somehow he's pretty sure that her sudden clamminess has nothing to do with her admiration of his basketball prowess. He's used to women swooning and fawning, but he's not quite sure what to do when a woman looks sickened to be in his presence.

Leaning forward slightly, Nathan catches her eye. "Is something wrong?"

Her eyes widen and for a quick second she looks like she's going to explode. Finally, a shrill laugh escapes her as she taps her foot irritably, and he's pretty sure this isn't her usual mode of operation. "You have got to be kidding me!" she exclaims before shaking her head. "No, no, everything is fine. What can I get for you, _Mr. Scott_?"

Nathan frowns. "Do I know you?"

"No," the young woman replies stiffly. "_You_ don't. Now what can I get you?"

"An explanation would be nice. You seem to have come to the conclusion that you dislike me...I'd like to know what I've done to deserve your contempt."

"Well, I must have done something right if you can use the word 'contempt' so adeptly."

"What are you talking about?!" Nathan questions, aghast.

"Just forget it," she mutters in response, rolling her eyes.

"I don't think so," he protests.

She spins around, her eyes flashing. "Look, I could list reason after reason after reason that you deserve more than just contempt from me. I've had a bad day, a worse week, a horrific month, and five whole years to tally the reasons, but I have work to do." She chuckles bitterly, "I've got customers."

Nathan watches in disbelief as she stalks away.

A voice sounds from behind him, "Hmph. Wonder what _you _did."

"Excuse me?" Nathan turns around to face the owner of the voice.

An elderly woman purses her lips and daintily stirs the steaming mug of tea in front of her. She nods toward the irritable waitress. "I _said_, I wonder what you did. She's never been anything but sweet as pie in all the time I've known her."

"I didn't do anything," Nathan replies indignantly. "It's not my problem certain people are unhappy with their jobs."

The woman huffs slightly and scowls. Despite her diminutive stature, Nathan feels about three feet tall beneath her disapproving glare. "I hope you're not implying that your waitress is any less important than any other person in this world," she scolds.

Properly chastised, Nathan sighs, "No, ma'am. That's not what I'm implying."

Just then the blonde breezes up to the old woman's table. "Anything else, Marie?" she questions sweetly.

Marie shakes her head kindly before reaching out to take the blonde's hand, "No thank you, honey. But you're a godsend to Karen. I hope you know that."

The blonde shakes her head, "No, Marie. She's been there for me more times than I can count. It's the least I can do."

Marie pats her hand. "You're a blessing, Haley. You always have been." Marie nods toward Nathan. "Now I think this young man wanted to speak with you."

"Wait," Nathan cuts in. "Haley? As in Haley James?"

Haley turns around slowly, deliberately, and faces him with fury in her big brown eyes.

He gives a shocked laugh. "Wow, you look..." he trails off as he looks her up and down.

"Don't do that!" she snaps. "Now what can I get you?"

Marie snorts from behind him.

Nathan gives the old woman a hard look before glancing stubbornly towards his former tutor.

Nathan looks her in the eye. "Coffee," he states simply. "Black."

Haley gives a short half-nod and sends a final smile Marie's way. "I'll see you tomorrow, Marie."

The elderly woman nods in Haley's direction and then turns to Nathan. "Don't be an ass," she growls at him before standing and walking out the front door.

Nathan sits stunned for several moments as he processes the rapid fire sequence of events. His waitress knows him, his waitress hates him, a little old lady scolds him and then calls him an ass. What could be next?

"Nathan?"

Of course, he thinks.

Dan.

Turning around, he's greeted by the unfortunate sight of his father who's standing with his arms crossed, a smug look on his face as though he's just stumbled upon a winning lottery ticket.

"What are you doing here?" he sneers. "Shouldn't you be in Phoenix praying that they don't get rid of you after your lackluster season?"

"Shouldn't you have been at your son's funeral?" Nathan fires back.

Dan has the decency to look guilty for all of a nanosecond and then he gives Nathan a hard glare.

"It's a real tragedy. But Lucas was never really my son. I think we both know that."

"And you were never really a father," Nathan growls. "Doesn't change biological fact." Looking around uncomfortably, Nathan continues, "Look, I know your standards aren't very high, but your being here is really tacky...even for you."

Dan scans the cafe, a look of distaste on his face. "I only came in because I had to make sure I was wrong in thinking that the lonely guy I saw through the window could be my son. Because my son is a professional basketball player who has stupidly managed to injure himself _again _and should be trying to save face with the NBA big wigs. Not sipping mediocre coffee in a podunk cafe." He pauses for a moment, "I suppose you're staying at my beach house."

"It's not _your _beach house. And the only reason I have it now is because Mom never wanted to set foot in that place once she was finally rid of us. It's pretty much the _only _thing she ever did for me. Oh, and as far as basketball goes, I would tell you not to worry, but it's really not any of your business anymore, is it?" Nathan bites out angrily.

"The hell it's not my business!" Dan growls. "I made you! I got you to where you are today. If you go and blow it now...well, you're even more useless than I had suspected!"

Nathan shakes his head disbelievingly. He can't believe they're having this argument. Again.

"You pushed me to the brink--almost to the point of quitting. _That's _what you did for me. But I made the shots, I ran the drills, I attended the practices, and I won the games. Me!" Nathan growls quietly.

"You were weak," Dan argues spitefully. "And you got lucky. But you don't have what it takes to make it long-term in this game. I knew it from the start."

"And how would you know what it takes, Dad?" Nathan hisses. "What team did you play for in the NBA?"

Dan's face is flushed with anger and he glances around, suddenly aware that there are people watching the entire exchange. He lets out a laugh, attempting to make light of the situation in an effort to salvage his shaky reputation, "You're so ungrateful, Nathan. All your mother and I ever did was love you and give you everything you wanted."

"I don't think anyone in this town would believe that for a second," Haley breaks in skeptically.

Both Dan and Nathan turn in surprise to see Haley with a mug and a carafe of coffee, a look of repulsion on her face.

"This is a private conversation, sweetheart," Dan remarks coldly. "Why don't you go back to pouring coffee?"

"Well, it's not really private if it's occurring in a public place," she retorts. "And I can't believe you're classless enough to even set foot in this place. Then to speak to your son that way? I guess maybe Nathan did end have the short end of the stick for all those years."

"And just who do you think you are?" Dan snarls. "You think I'm going to let some small-town waitress talk to me like that?"

"I think I'm telling you that you need to leave. Or this small-town waitress is going to be calling the small-town police."

A look of understanding flickers across Dan's face and he lets out a maniacal laugh as he glances between Nathan and Haley. "Oh, I get it!" he exclaims. "You two are sleeping together? Well, she's easy on the eyes, son. I'll give you that. But even you could do better." Dan allows his eyes to rove over Haley from head to toe, and she squirms slightly under his stare.

"Just get the hell out," Nathan mutters furiously.

Raising his hands in defeat, Dan gives them a smile and then offers a wave to the rest of the cafe's customers. "Enjoy your meals, everyone!"

The bell jingles as the door closes behind him and Nathan releases the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

"Thanks," he mumbles to Haley who is pouring coffee into the mug she's set on his table.

"Don't flatter yourself," she mutters. "That wasn't for you."

And then she walks away.

* * *

The bell chimes as he walks through the front door and makes his way back to the table he's claimed as his own for the past several days. He can't explain why he keeps coming back, especially since he gets nothing but verbal abuse from Haley. But a part of him is drawn to the banter they share--partly because he enjoys the challenge she presents, but also partly because he thinks he deserves the harsh treatment. And the fact that Haley is rather nice to look at doesn't hurt at all. Today she's wearing simple pair of jeans and a deep turquoise t-shirt. Her hair is twisted into a knot and a thin headband is containing any wayward strands. If he was a sappy guy, he would describe her as fresh and stunning. Luckily, he's not a sappy guy.

He can't help the smile that appears on his face as he watches her hurry from table to table, the pleasant expression never leaving her face for a moment.

Until she looks over and spots him.

Before he knows it, a mug of black coffee has been plunked down in front of him and he has a nice view of Haley's backside as she hurries away.

Amused by her behavior, Nathan picks up his mug and approaches Haley where she's standing behind the bar filling another drink order.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't order this."

Glancing up as she continues working, she rolls her eyes exasperatedly and huffs, "You've ordered the same exact thing for the past three days."

"But I didn't order this. What if I'd wanted something different?"

Haley cocks her head and narrows her eyes skeptically, "Do you?"

"Well, no...but that's not the point."

"So what's the point?"

Nathan shrugs, "I wanted you to come over and take my order."

Taking a deep breath, Haley rolls her eyes and yanks her notepad out of her apron. "Fine," she snaps. "What can I get you?"

"Coffee," Nathan smiles. "Black."

"Okay," she replies sweetly. Reaching over, she tugs the cup of coffee out of his hand and then makes a show of handing back to him. "There you go. Anything else?"

Nathan shakes his head. "Nope," he announces cheerfully. "That'll do it."

He stands and watches for a moment as she continues fiddling with a tray of mugs and spoons. He can't put his finger on what it is about her that has him so fascinated, but he's fairly certain he could stay and watch her for days on end without getting bored.

Suddenly, Haley stops what she's doing and looks him square in the eye. "What?! Why do you enjoy torturing me?" she asks honestly. "I mean, did I do something to you in, like, the second grade or something?"

Nathan thinks about it for a moment before responding honestly, "I'm not trying to torture you. I just can't seem to stay away."

"Well, you sure didn't have that problem when we were in high school," she points out as she resumes her work on the drink order.

"Well, I had a lot of other problems when I was in high school."

Haley laughs bitterly, "Yeah, I guess I didn't quite register on your radar."

"Well, you weren't exactly my biggest fan either. I seem to recall you giving me quite the verbal kick in the nuts. More than a few times actually."

Before she knows it, a short laugh has escaped her, and while she's quick to school her features back to their neutral position, she has inadvertently allowed him a split-second view of her glowing nature.

"You're really beautiful when you laugh," he remarks without thinking. And then almost immediately, he feels his face heating up over the fact that he just uttered such words.

"Please don't do that," she requests quietly as she pulls out a new coffee filter and begins brewing a new pot.

"Do what? Compliment you?"

"Try to use lines like that," she replies. "Please just...don't."

"Believe me, Haley. My lines are more clever than that. That was a simple statement of the obvious."

Releasing a heavy sigh, she stops and turns to face him once again.

"What do you want, Nathan?"

He looks her right in the face for several moments, and he sees a softness in her dark brown eyes that he's never really noticed before. Her face is lovely, but tired. He realizes he doesn't want to contribute to her anguish, no matter how much he enjoys her company.

"I guess I want to know why everyone loves you so much," he answers sincerely. "I want to know why Luke was willing to do just about anything for you. And I want to know why Brooke and Peyton talk about you like there's nobody they'd rather spend their time with."

She stands frozen for a second, obviously caught off guard by the thoughtful nature of his answer. Finally, she shakes herself from her state of shock and puts up an unaffected front.

"Well, I guess you're going to do a little bit of research," she replies distantly. "I don't have time to hang out with you just to satisfy some morbid curiosity. And even if I did, I wouldn't want to."

Picking up the tray of drinks, she hurries away and leaves Nathan to his cooling mug of black coffee.

* * *

"So how's life in Tree Hill, Haley James?" Brooke probes casually.

Haley throws herself back on the couch in her parents' living room and presses the phone to her other ear. "Fine, I guess. Work has been busy."

"You glad you decided to stay?" Peyton inquires.

Haley thinks about it for a moment before responding, "Yeah, I am."

"And have you run into anyone you know?" Brooke questions sneakily.

"You mean aside from Nathan Scott?"

"So you _have _seen him!" Peyton confirms.

"Like...every day. His new joy in life seems to be torturing me." She pauses. "Actually, it's not really a new joy... Today he actually told me that he wanted to get to know me."

"And what did you say?" both girls ask simultaneously.

"You know, if you guys are just going to use these three-way calls to tag-team me, I think I'm going to have to bow out next time," Haley whines.

"Aw, come on, Tutor Girl!" Brooke exclaims. "We want some gossip!"

"Are you kidding? There is no gossip. I told him if he wants to learn about me, he'll have to do some research. I don't have time to play his games."

"Haley!" Peyton scolds.

"Peyton!" Haley echoes mockingly.

"Come on, Haley. I know you're hurting, but you can't be a total bitch to every guy you come into contact with."

"What? Brooke, you know how he treated me!" Haley retorts defensively.

"Yeah, five years ago!" Brooke reminds her.

Peyton breaks in, "Haley, do you know how much _you've _changed in five years?"

"Not that much," Haley answers simply.

"Give me a break!" Brooke exclaims. "No, actually...give Nathan a break. Look, Hales, I know you and Lucas had that whole 'don't ask, don't tell' agreement about Nathan, but you should know that he's really changed. I'm not saying he's turned into a saint, but you should at least try to be civil to one another."

"She's right, Haley," Peyton adds. "Give the guy a chance to prove that he's changed. Maybe he'll surprise you."

Haley rolls her eyes and mutters, "I highly doubt it."

* * *

When Nathan walks into the cafe the next morning, he spots Marie sitting at a table near the door. After catching the menacing look she sends his way, he quickly opts to locate a table on the opposite side of the building. Glancing around he realizes Haley is nowhere to be seen and is disappointed to see a dark-haired teenager in a denim miniskirt and flip-flops moving from table to table with a pot of coffee in her hand. Within a few minutes the girl is headed in his direction and he's questioning her before she has the chance to ask for his order.

"Where's Haley?"

The younger girl narrows her eyes and shrugs carelessly. "I don't know. Something to do with school."

"School?" he asks.

The girl nods, eying him strangely. "Yeah, school. Why?"

Nathan frowns. Lucas had never discussed Haley or her life, but he'd always been under the impression that she'd gone to school out in California. After seeing her working at Karen's on a regular basis, however, he'd just figured that either he'd been wrong or she'd moved back to Tree Hill after graduating college.

"Is she at Tree Hill Community?" he asks the girl, his curiosity piqued.

The girl snorts and Nathan is starting to think he doesn't like her.

"Uh, that would be about four steps backwards, I think. Generally you don't graduate from USC only to head to Tree Hill Community."

"USC?"

"The University of Southern California," the girl says slowly, as though making sure he can understand her words.

"I'm sorry, uh..."

"Julia."

"I'm sorry, Julia. I'm just confused. I thought she was working here."

"She was," Julia replies. "When she was in high school and on college breaks."

"But yesterday..."

"Yesterday she was helping Karen out. Just like she was supposed to today and will be tomorrow and the next day and so on."

"So why isn't she here today?"

"She had to make up some kind of last-minute exam and her professor is letting her do it by phone."

"At USC."

"No. At Stanford."

"But I thought..."

"Okay, stay with me, slowpoke. Haley went to Tree Hill High. Since she's pretty much a genius, she graduated at the top of her class and got a full-ride to USC. After graduating with honors from USC, she was accepted to law school at Stanford. She's finishing her first year of law school right now. You follow?"

He nods slowly as he watches Julia fill his mug with black coffee. Well, Haley had said he'd have to do his research. Looks like he's found his source.

"So what else can you tell me about Haley?" he questions nonchalantly.

"Why are you so interested in her anyway?" she asks, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Are you a stalker?"

Thrown off by the girl's immediate suspicion, Nathan hesitates for a moment before shaking his head, "No. No, actually I'm Luke's brother."

Immediately the younger girl's face softens.

"Oh," she murmurs. "You're Nathan. Sorry."

"Thanks," he replies.

Julia watches him closely for several moments and she seems to be waging some sort of internal battle. Finally, she sighs, "Okay, what did you want to know exactly?"

* * *

The cemetery makes for a rather difficult terrain to navigate while attempting to do so on a wobbly pair of crutches. Between the marble headstones and the unavoidable dips and divots, the path to Luke's grave is a veritable obstacle course. But it's an obstacle course that he's faced each day for the past week and a half, all in an effort to pay his brother a visit. He's been surprised to find just how quieting an experience it is to just sit beneath the large shade tree and ponder the many decisions he knows he will need to make in the not-too-distant future.

As he maneuvers through a narrow row of polished white headstones, he heaves a sigh a relief when he spots the now-familiar spot he's seeking.

Except today, for the first time, he finds that he's not alone.

She's resting on her knees, her hands folded neatly in her lap, her head bowed slightly as she looks to the ground. The lawn is slightly wet and he knows that the knees of her jeans will most likely be muddy, but she seems unconcerned with such trivial things as she remains seated and unaware of her surrounding environment.

Finally, after several moments of watching her, he feels as though he's intruding on a private moment and decides to make his presence known.

He clears his throat loudly and announces, "Well, if it isn't Haley James. Tree Hill High student tutor. Class Valedictorian. Full academic scholarship to USC. Summa Cum Laude from the Annenberg School at USC. First year Stanford Law. And maybe most importantly, beloved citizen of Tree Hill. Did I mention that she's also kind of gorgeous?"

Turning from where she's perched on her knees, Haley shields her eyes from the sharp glare of the sunshine and sighs when she sees a smirking Nathan standing just a few yards away.

"Nathan Scott. Grade-A son-of-a-bitch and all-around pain in my ass."

"I guess that's me," he responds with a shrug. "And for the record, there are worse asses I could have chosen."

Haley glares at him. "So what? I'm supposed to be impressed that you went back and dug up dated information about me? Flattered that you're no longer repulsed by me?"

"You don't have to be anything. Although, for the record, I was never repulsed by you. Besides," Nathan shrugs, "you told me to do some research. I was just satisfying my own curiosity."

"You _have _heard about curiosity and the cat, haven't you?" Haley deadpans.

Nathan continues smirking, his blues eyes glittering with mirth as he watches her get huffy. He's used to have an extreme effect on women, but normally they're swooning or groping or squealing. He's never been able to get under a woman's skin the way he seems to get to Haley. For some reason, he really likes that he does that to her.

Nathan adjusts his crutches beneath his arms and then tilts his head thoughtfully.

"What are you doing here?" he asks her after a moment.

She squints at him for just a moment as though she's deciding whether or not to bother responding.

"I've been here every day since I've been back in Tree Hill," she finally replies.

"Yeah," Nathan says quietly. "Me too. But that's not what I asked you."

Haley looks up, surprised by his admission, and avoids his question with one of her own.

"You've been here every day?"

Nathan is annoyed. "Well, he _was _my brother."

"He still is," Haley corrects gently, her eyes on the ground in front of her. "And I'm sorry. I guess I just...have a hard time accepting the fact that the two of you actually grew even closer after high school."

"Well, a lot of things changed after high school," Nathan mutters. "I'm sure you're not the same person you were back then."

"No," Haley agrees. "I'm not."

"So why is it so hard to believe that someone could have changed in five years?"

She throws her hands in the air exasperatedly and exclaims, "Because! To this day, I've never met anyone with less regard for the feelings of others than the Nathan Scott I knew in high school. I still have no idea how you and Lucas could possibly have shared the same genes."

Nathan laughs dryly, "Believe me, I wonder about that all the time."

And with those few words, Nathan catches Haley's attention. The sorrow and self-deprecating tone ring so true that she wonders suddenly if maybe losing Lucas has been even harder on Nathan than it's been on her. She has a whole lifetime of silly memories and ridiculous stories. Nathan, on the other hand, has to deal with two losses: the loss of a future with his brother _and _the loss of any chance they could have had to make up for their lost years.

She can hold onto the remember-whens.

He's stuck with the what-ifs.

With this in mind, for the first time in more than five years, Haley James looks up and looks Nathan Scott in the eye without any trace of anger or disgust. She just tilts her head and raises her chin, her eyes wide and searching as though she's trying her hardest to see beyond whatever front or facade he's putting forth.

Nathan feels like he's had the wind knocked out of him when he sees her looking up at him, her expression totally lacking any pretense or judgment. Her golden hair is down and fluttering slightly with the breeze as she blinks up at him, the sunshine gilding her elegant features. Her dark eyes are warm and soothing, and Nathan suddenly feels a bit like he's suffocating at the sight of her settled on the grass so natural and unassuming.

"Uh," he stutters, trying furiously to get jog his mind and get his focus back to where it belongs. He sure as hell can't be sitting here having..._thoughts _about Haley James. He scrambles for a cool recovery and casually asks, "Why are you still in Tree Hill? Everyone else was gone almost as soon as the funeral was over. Brooke went back to New York. Jake and Peyton went back to Providence. Why aren't you back in sunny California?"

"I have obligations here. Responsibilities." She chuckles bitterly, lowering her eyes back to her fidgeting hands. "Not that you would know anything about that."

"Yeah, because I know nothing about responsibility," Nathan mutters, cursing the fact that he's still injured and unable to make a quick and heated exit. "You know what? Forget I tried." Slowly, he starts to heft himself to his feet, but he's caught off guard by her vexed response.

"Why _are _you trying, Nathan? You don't owe me anything. I just don't understand why now, after all these years, you come back and try to act like you and I ever had something to salvage..." she trails off scornfully. "I mean, you sure as hell aren't going to score any points with Luke at this stage!"

Nathan winces at the mention of his brother and shakes his head, attempting once again to get back on his feet.

Haley watches him struggle clumsily for a moment and then sighs heavily, "I'm here for Karen. She's going to need someone. So I'm taking some time off and..."

Upon hearing the softened tone of her voice, Nathan halts and turns slowly.

"Some time off from Stanford Law," he clarifies. "Very impressive."

"More so than someone who's bitter about pouring coffee for a living, right?" she challenges, her eyes flashing with something that looks like amusement.

"Touche."

Immediately, she turns her attention back to the grave in front of her. There's no headstone yet--just a small plaque to mark the spot. Reaching down, she brushes her fingers across the raised letters of Luke's name and tries her very best to ignore the broad shadow that continues to loom overhead.

"Look, Haley," Nathan starts as he struggles to lower himself back to the ground. "I did a lot of stupid shit when I was in high school." He chuckles bitterly, "Hell, I still do a lot of stupid shit. Five years ago, I pretty much said what I wanted to say and did what I wanted to do regardless of consequences. I didn't think much about how those choices affected other people. And I didn't really care."

"How convenient for you," Haley says dryly.

"Yeah," he grumbles. "Really convenient. Until the world stops catering to your every whim and you realize that you can work your ass off and still never be good enough. It's a wake-up call I could have done without."

Struggling in vain to make himself comfortable on the ground, Nathan arranges his right leg so it juts awkwardly in front of him, but relieves his knee of the pinching pressure of his brace. Leaning back to rest on his palms, he attempts to steer their conversation in a more casual direction.

"You know, you never answered my question."

"What question would that be?" Haley asks, glancing up wearily.

"Why are _you _here every day?"

She arches a shaped brow challengingly before responding, "Guilt, I guess."

Nathan frowns. "Guilt?" he echoes in confusion. "What do you have to be guilty for? I was under the impression that you're as close to perfect as they come."

"I'm far from perfect," Haley replies distantly. "Miles from perfect."

"Okay, fair enough. You're not perfect. But less than perfect doesn't equal guilt."

"It does for me," she says firmly.

They're both silent for several moments. A lawnmower buzzes in the distance and a bird calls loudly from overhead.

"Well, we're quite a pair," Nathan declares finally.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because we're two people who have spent the last five years avoiding each other. And here we are, both attempting to absolve ourselves of guilt over something that probably neither of us had any control over."

She looks up sharply.

"You?"

He simply nods before changing the subject. "So how long are you here for?"

Haley pauses to consider it and then shrugs, "I'm not sure."

Nathan tugs some grass from the ground and begins plucking at it. "Yeah, me neither," he mumbles.

Haley hesitates for a moment before explaining, "I feel like I need some time away from my life. Just to...process everything, I guess."

Nathan nods in agreement, "Yeah, I don't really know where to go from here. But I sure as hell don't think I can go back to the way things used to be. I don't _want _to go back to that."

"Neither do I," Haley murmurs. "But it's not like I can just ignore my life either."

Another moment of silence passes between them, this one more comfortable than the last.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'd really rather not be totally alone in this godforsaken town for the next couple of months...or however long I stay. God knows I could use an ally in this madness."

Haley looks up, her eyes narrowed. "What are you suggesting?" she asks.

"What if we decided to call a truce?"

"A truce?" Haley's face scrunches slightly in confusion.

"Yeah. A break, a ceasefire, a--"

"I know what it means," she remarks, cutting him off with a good-natured eye-roll.

He shrugs, "So, what do you say? Truce?"

Haley is quiet for a moment, a pensive look on her face. Finally, she nods, "I think Lucas would like that."

Grinning happily, Nathan thrusts a hand toward her, "Haley James? I'm Nathan Scott. I've heard a lot about you."

Surprised, Haley just looks at his hand for a moment before slowly reaching out to accept his handshake.

"It's nice to meet you, Nathan," she smiles. "I've heard a lot about you too."


	3. The Salve

A/N: I apologize for the delay between chapters. Between day-to-day responsibilities and recent computer woes, I've had a hard time getting this written. I have a complete rough draft of this story, but I'm going through and polishing chapter by chapter. I can tell you that it will be 5-6 chapters long (depending on how my final revisions go) and that each chapter is at least 10,000 words long. I'm also working on another story, but I'm waiting until it's completed so that I can post it in its entirety. Thank you so much for your kind words in response to the previous two chapters. I hope you continue to enjoy the coming chapters.

**Part Three-The Salve**

Yet another weekday morning has arrived and the café is abuzz. Cars line the curbs of the Tree Hill's picturesque downtown. Several retired couples power-walk passed the many storefronts while shouting kids skate and scooter down the sidewalk as they enjoy their summer break. The heavy door creaks as he hefts it open and the familiar bell chimes overhead. The comfortable hubbub of clanking stoneware and boisterous laughter provide a warm greeting as he pulls a wooden stool away from the counter, its legs scraping loudly against the floorboards.

Nathan grimaces slightly as he drops clumsily onto the stool. Leaning over, he attempts to adjust the position of his leg in an effort to find an arrangement to allow for maximum comfort. He's not sure he can handle another six weeks of this cumbersome brace, but he knows that he's lucky that a brace is _all _he has to deal with. Spying an abandoned menu resting just a few feet away, Nathan picks it up and begin poring over his many choices of entrees. He hasn't quite tried everything on the menu and he's made it his lofty goal to do so before leaving town.

After a few moments, he decides on the Eggs Benedict and begins glancing casually around the cafe when he hears the plunk of a ceramic cup on the wooden bar in front of him.

"Nathan," Karen smiles warmly. "It's good to see you. Can I get you some breakfast?"

Surprised to see her, Nathan nods, "Eggs Benedict, I think." He watches as Karen pours some freshly brewed coffee into his cup. "It's good to see you too," he continues politely. "Is it nice to be back?"

Karen sighs and then pauses thoughtfully. "It is," she responds finally. "You know, it was good for me to get away. I had a chance to visit with some family and take care of some things that really needed to be done. I...miss Lucas. Even more than I ever could have imagined. And it hurts to think that he's gone. But this cafe will always be home and he's a part of it."

"I know how much he loved it here," Nathan adds, watching as Karen smiles and nods.

"Do you know how long you're staying in town?" Karen asks as she puts the pot of coffee back on the burner and begins sorting through some receipts.

"I don't really know what I'm doing," Nathan answers honestly. "My priorities are kind of up in the air right now."

Karen nods in understanding. "Well, I hope you're able to regain your sense of direction while you're here."

"Thank you," Nathan smiles. He sees Haley suddenly out of the corner of his eye and follows her movements as he continues, "I'm really working on it."

Watching as Nathan's focus is suddenly centered on Haley, Karen raises an eyebrow and smothers a knowing smile behind her hand. "I'll see you later, Nathan. Have a good morning."

"You too," he remarks distractedly.

Haley doesn't notice when Nathan arrives, so she's caught a bit off guard when she turns to see him chatting with Karen at the bar. Caught up in the image of him sitting so comfortably in the cafe, chatting so familiarly with Luke's mom, Haley feels a sharp tug of anxiety and her mind drifts for a moment. She catches herself when she hears one of her customers clearing his throat pointedly.

"Are you okay, miss?" he inquires politely, his brow knit with concern.

"Fine," she assures him with a wide smile. "Just fine."

***********

Nathan's plate is a mess of grease and crumbs by the time Haley makes her way over to his side. Nathan is wiping his mouth and sipping the last of his coffee when she rushes behind the counter.

"I didn't realize that our little truce would mean that you would become one of my regulars ," Haley remarks as she hurries to put her orders in. Refilling the ceramic mug in front of him, she leans on the counter, her chin perched in her hands, as she watches him take a sip. "You're later than usual," she notes with a bright-eyed look of curiosity.

Nathan shrugs and watches her over the rim of the mug as he sips from the piping hot brew. "I met up with a few guys down at the river court this morning."

"A few guys, huh?" Eyebrows raised skeptically, Haley gestures at his legs, "No crutches? Did you lose them in a bet? Or did they just clash with your ensemble?"

"The doctor says I'm finally free of the crutches." He frowns down at the brace that's still on his leg, "But I have to drag this thing around with me for another couple of weeks."

"Seems like a small price to pay," Haley comments easily. "But does this really mean you're ready to be tackling other guys on the court?"

"I don't 'tackle' other guys," Nathan remarks disgustedly as Haley grins cheekily from across the counter. "God, Haley. Don't say that too loudly."

Shrugging innocently, Haley focuses on something just over his left shoulder and then gives him a dazzling smile.

"What are you grinning at?" he grumbles. "You're scaring me."

Her smile widens and she nods towards the corner of the restaurant, "I think Table Twelve wishes your grumpy ass was talking to her. God knows why."

Nathan casually glances around the cafe. Then he feigns ignorance and shrugs innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, you know exactly what," Haley replies before turning around to pick up a steaming breakfast plate. "Unless you're trying to tell me that the leggy brunette in the corner is lusting after the bacon in my hand." She lifts the plate for emphasis and then shakes her head.

"It _does _look delicious," Nathan points out.

"So do you," Haley replies without thinking. Realizing her error, her eyes widen and her cheeks flood with color. "I mean..." she tries to backpedal.

Nathan smirks and nods his head cockily. "I know what you mean," he remarks. "And don't worry, Haley. You're hardly the first woman to think that I'm practically edible."

The embarrassed look disappears from Haley's face and a look of pity replaces it. "You poor thing. Although you do bear a vague resemblance to this bacon. I mean, you're both tempting. But you're also greasy, smelly, and bad for a girl's health." She cocks her head thoughtfully and gives him a teasing smile before picking up a coffee pot and heading out to provide refills for her other customers.

It's been almost two weeks since their truce was declared. And it's been just as long since Nathan has started to become a regular fixture at the cafe. The reasoning he offers is that the breakfast is the best in town. The reasoning as Haley sees it is the fact that he receives dinner invitations on what seems to be a daily basis. And while Nathan has maintained a wide-eyed look of disbelief at the forwardness of the many offers--Haley has barely been able to contain her laughter.

"What's the matter, Scott? Aren't you going to go and talk to her?" Haley questions teasingly as she makes her way back behind the counter. Her dark eyes are sparkling and the corners of her mouth are twitching slightly as she awaits his reply.

Nathan glares as he responds, "I'm perfectly happy where I am, _James. _Why would I want to spend my time with her when I can sit here and be verbally assaulted by you? Haven't you learned that I'm a glutton for punishment?"

"You know," Haley remarks thoughtfully. "I never thought I'd say this, but you need a girl with more substance, Nathan Scott."

"Is that an offer?" he questions teasingly.

Haley snorts, "Hardly! God, what a disaster that would be! Besides, you're not my type."

Nathan straightens slightly and defensiveness creeps into his tone, "Oh really? So good-looking athletes aren't your type?"

Haley raises her eyebrows in amusement before she shakes her head, "Relax, I'm okay with good-looking."

Nathan nods and smiles with satisfaction.

Haley rolls her eyes, "It's the cocky bastard part I have a problem with. And I'm not exactly your type either."

"And what type would that be exactly?" Nathan inquires skeptically.

Haley counts the traits off on her fingers, "Tall, rail-thin, hot, and totally smitten with you."

"You forgot 'great in bed'," Nathan smirks.

"Silly me," Haley returns dryly.

Nathan watches Haley as she gives him a genuine smile, and he thinks about how things have changed in just a matter of weeks. He doesn't know what exactly it is that he wants from a relationship with her, but he knows that he's enjoying the journey--and that's something he's never really experienced before. At least not with a relationship that didn't involve sex. The past couple of weeks have allowed for significant improvement between them. Haley has finally gotten to the point where she's willing to talk to him. And it's kind of interesting to be around a girl he's not sleeping with. Looking up again, he sucks in a breath as he watches her fiddle with the coffee maker. She's wearing faded jeans that hug the curves of her ass while the cotton camisole accentuates the generous swell of her breasts.

Okay, so maybe sex isn't an actuality...but that doesn't mean it can't be a fantasy, right?

Nathan watches her for a few moments and tries to organize his next words in his mind. He swallows and clears his throat a few times before he finally works up the courage speak up.

"So what time are you off?" he questions casually as he tries to avoid the enticing view of Haley's chest as she leans over the counter to talk to him.

"Hmmm?" she murmurs distractedly.

"Let's do something tonight. What time are you off?"

Haley looks up in confusion. "What do you mean 'do something'?"

"I mean," Nathan responds, "let's go somewhere. _Do _something. Hang out…you know, like friends do."

Haley glances around the cafe doubtfully. "I don't know, Nathan. I'm supposed to close tonight and I've got a lot of inventory and..."

Nathan raises his eyebrows. "And...?" he trails off.

Haley wrings her hands nervously as she tries to think of a convincing reason to decline. While she's glad that she and Nathan are mature enough to have put their differences behind them, she's not sure she wants to be spending her free time with him. She's certainly enjoyed his company over the last couple of weeks, but there's a very small part of her that's convinced that Nathan's kindness is all part of some ploy. Or that it's just Nathan's way of keeping himself occupied while he's in town. She's fairly certain that Nathan doesn't do platonic relationships with women. And she's also fairly certain that he doesn't do romantic relationships without sex. She doesn't particularly want to be some kind of plaything for a bored Nathan Scott. And she definitely isn't sure she wants to be his _friend_.

"It's just..." she starts off awkwardly.

"That you don't trust me?" he finishes for her.

Haley looks him in the eye and then shrugs helplessly. She's confused by her own unease over his question. Considering his treatment of her in high school, she's not sure why she's so concerned with his feelings. She doesn't want to intentionally hurt him, she also refuses to lie. Desperate for something to distract her, she picks up a towel and wipes at an imaginary spot on the counter.

Nathan feels a sharp twinge of anger, but it dissipates immediately when he sees the genuine look of anxiety on Haley's face. Maybe it's too much to expect her to just forgive and forget. He hasn't exactly been a stand-up guy to her in the past. Hell, he's been cruel to her in the past and he humiliated her in front of half their high school class. Now that he's grown up and gotten the chance to know her, he feels slightly nauseated by his own actions. He stands for a moment before shrugging and giving her a halfhearted smile.

"Fair enough," he agrees. Shoving a hand into his pocket, he rises from his stool and tosses his hand up in some semblance of a wave. "See you later, Haley."

Taken aback by the defeated tone of his voice, Haley twines the small towel through her hands. Could it be that Nathan Scott is actually disappointed by her rejection of his invitation? Before she knows it, she jumping forward as though she's been prodded from behind. "Nathan!" she exclaims suddenly.

He whirls around quickly, hopefully, a smile on his face.

"I won't be able to get out of here until closing," she explains. "So I don't know what you have planned..."

"I can wait," he interrupts.

"Okay," Haley replies slowly, unsure of how to proceed. "Then I guess I'll see you later?"

Nathan's smile widens into a full-fledged grin that has him looking almost giddy. "See you then," he nods.

Haley watches him through the large pane windows as he makes his way back to his SUV. Looking down, she realizes she's twisted the towel into tight coils and she tosses it back towards the sink. Taking what she hopes will be a cleansing breath, Haley places her hands on the edge of the counter and braces herself against it as she wonders what she's gotten herself into. Confused, she shakes her head. Nathan Scott wants to hang out with her. And she can't for the life of her figure out _why_.

"He's not a boy anymore, you know."

Haley spins around, startled by Karen's sudden appearance. "What?"

"Nathan," Karen explains. "The things he did, the mistakes he made...he was just a stupid high school boy. That's not who he is anymore."

"I know that," Haley remarks stoutly.

"Do you?" Karen questions curiously. "Because if someone had treated me the way Nathan treated you, I'd probably be pretty hesitant to let my guard down."

Haley frowns in confusion, "But you just said he's changed."

"And he has," Karen confirms. "I just thought you'd like to know that. But I understand your reluctance to just let the past go."

"Lucas saw something in him," Haley murmurs, "so he can't be all bad."

Karen smiles, "You know, I thought Lucas was crazy the first time he brought Nathan home for the holidays. I knew that they'd been getting along, but I thought it would be pretty awkward for Nathan to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with his father's ex-girlfriend."

"And was it?" Haley asks.

Karen shakes her head, "Not at all. He was definitely nervous. But I think that's because he didn't know how to behave. He didn't know what was expected of him. Think about it--Dan expected nothing short of perfection from him during his entire childhood. That's a lot to live up to."

"I guess so," Haley responds quietly. "I just can't figure out why he would suddenly want to spend time with me. Especially when he's got women like _that,_" she gestures at the brunette who's still seated across the café, "hanging around."

Reaching over, Karen places her hands upon Haley's. "Look, Haley," she starts, "I'm not telling you what to do. What I am telling you is that Nathan sees something in you. Or maybe he's just trying to understand what so many others already see in you."

Haley lets out a sharp laugh and scoffs, "Like what? Why would you say that? I'm just…Haley."

Karen smiles and shakes her head, "Well, there are a lot of people who seem to like _just _Haley _just _fine."

Giving the older woman a strange look, Haley shrugs, "Whatever you say."

Karen raises an eyebrow at the younger woman before tossing her a towel. "Get back to work," she commands teasingly. "Table three needs clean-up."

************

She doesn't even seem to hear the bell chime when he enters the café for the second time that day. He pauses just inside the door and can't help but smile at what he sees. Haley, her hair twisted into an oversized knot, is standing between two tables with a mop in her hands. Although she's moving the mop back and forth across the worn floorboards, she has a vacant look in her eye and shows no signs of shifting her focus to another patch of floor.

Finally, he breaks the silence. "Are you ready?"

Caught off guard for what seems to be the tenth time that day, Haley whirls around, ready to whack the intruder with her mop handle. Once she catches a glimpse of the "intruder" and his teasing expression, however, she lets out a sigh, "God, Nathan! You scared the hell out of me!" She frowns, "You're early."

"Well, I _was _early when I got here about fifteen minutes ago. I figured I'd wait a few minutes in the car, but then I realized that you'd been mopping the same spot for at least ten minutes."

A pretty flush of color blooms in Haley's cheeks and she stammers, "Well…I…I was just thinking!"

He raises his hands in mock surrender, "Sorry! I didn't know mopping was such an engrossing task."

Haley makes a face and lets out a sarcastic laugh, "Ha. Ha."

"Well? Are you ready?"

She nods, "Let me just put this away and grab my things."

"Let me," Nathan offers, reaching out to take the mop from her hands.

Surprised by the offer, Haley looks up slowly to meet his friendly gaze. "Thanks," she says softly.

Nathan nods gruffly as she goes to grab her purse and sweater.

"So? Where to?" Haley asks abruptly as they step into the cool air. It's not cold, but the sun is just dipping below the horizon and the breeze adds a bit of chill to the balmy evening.

Nathan is silent as he leads her to his car. Once he opens the passenger door, Haley spots the familiar grease-stained paper bag from a local burger joint and her stomach gurgles loudly as the aroma of french fries reaches her nose.

Nathan chuckles as Haley lifts a hand to her stomach and blushes.

"I guess burgers and fries are okay then?" he checks with raised eyebrows.

Haley shrugs as she climbs into his SUV, "What can I say? I'm starving. And I'm not really a fancy-schmancy-tiny-portions-exorbitant-prices kind of girl."

"Yeah, Lucas told me," Nathan murmurs softly as he closes the passenger door behind her and moves around to the driver's side.

Haley watches silently as he climbs into the driver's seat and starts the engine.

"What else did Lucas tell you?" Haley finally inquires, unable to contain her curiosity any longer.

Nathan shrugs, "We never had any conversations _about _you. I mean, obviously the guy knew you weren't my biggest fan."

"And you weren't exactly singing my praises," Haley interjects.

"Right," Nathan admits gruffly. "Anyway, you just came up in casual conversation pretty frequently. We'd see something or I'd mention something or we'd eat a certain food or whatever. And he'd have some little anecdote that involved you."

"And how did my dislike of fancy restaurants pop up?" Haley wonders skeptically.

"We were having dinner at some high-end restaurant in Phoenix and somewhere between dinner and dessert he started laughing his ass off. Once he was able to breathe again, he starts telling some story about how your parents took you to some expensive restaurant for your sixteenth birthday."

Haley smiles faintly, "Yeah, Lucas came with us."

"You ordered macaroni and cheese?" Nathan questions disbelievingly.

"What?!" Haley exclaims. "I love the stuff! I figured if Kraft was good, the mac and cheese at a place like that had to be heaven!"

"I'm sure your parents loved forking over all that cash for you to have pasta and plastic cheese."

"Yeah," Haley remarks. "And you know? It wasn't that great. I think I prefer the stuff from the box."

Nathan laughs.

"So you remember that?" Haley questions disbelievingly. She wrinkles her nose, "Why?"

Nathan shrugs, "I thought it was a pretty funny story. I mean, most of the women I know would have been searching the menu for the most expensive item. That...or they would have ordered water and a salad."

Haley wrinkles her nose at the prospect, causing Nathan to chuckle.

"So, I thought we could go to the beach," he proposes as he guides the car on to one of the main roads in Tree Hill. "I mean, you've been in a restaurant all day, so I figured you might like some fresh air."

Haley glances over at Nathan's profile, surprised by his thoughtfulness. "Burgers and the beach?" she asks.

Nathan looks at her for a split-second before returning his eyes to the road. "Is that okay?"

"Sounds perfect to me," Haley nods with a small smile.

*****************

"God, I haven't done anything like this since college!" Haley exclaims with a laugh as Nathan pours another splash of vodka into her cup.

Even after the burgers and fries had been demolished, neither Haley or Nathan had been quite ready to leave the sanctuary of the deserted stretch of beach in behind Nathan's house. The bottle of vodka had emerged sometime during the awkward silence that had fallen over them once the fries were gone, and now Haley is wondering whether her desire to appear free-spirited had been misguided when she'd accepted the first drink.

"What?" Nathan feigns shock. "You mean Haley James consumed alcohol in college?"

Haley gives him an indignant glare.

"Contrary to popular belief," she huffs, "Haley James is not a total bore. And just for the record, I still don't _need _alcohol to have a good time."

"Me neither," Nathan responds naughtily, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"You're a pig!" Haley snaps, socking him in the shoulder with a balled fist.

He's suddenly aware of just how small she is in comparison to him and an unfamiliar wave of affection washes over him.

"So tell me, Nathan Scott. What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"At the cemetery you said that people change after high school. I have a feeling you were referring to more than the typical issues of beer guts and frown lines. So what's changed for you?"

"I think the better question might be what hasn't changed?"

"Well, you're still cocky as hell," she points out. "So there's that."

Nathan chuckles, "I guess there is that."

"But seriously," she says soberly. "Tell me about Nathan Scott. _This _Nathan Scott."

"Well," he starts, "this Nathan Scott ended up doing exactly what he said he'd do. He played college ball on scholarship and then made it to the NBA."

"How lucky for him," Haley remarks dryly.

"Yeah, except there wasn't a whole lot of luck involved. Because this Nathan Scott wasn't the star of the team. And this Nathan Scott was plagued by a series of injuries from the beginning to the end of his college career. And this Nathan Scott wasn't a top NBA draft pick."

Haley raises her eyebrows in surprise, "What do you mean? You played for Phoenix."

"Ah, so you do know something about me," he points out teasingly.

Haley flushes slightly, "Well, I _was _best friends with Lucas."

"Right," Nathan nods knowingly. "Actually I started with a team in the developmental league and worked my ass off for a year before anyone would even look at me. I just didn't get quite enough playing time my senior year since I was dealing with injuries. My year with Phoenix was my first injury-free season since high school. At least until..." he trails off and gestures towards his knee brace.

"But you made it," Haley remarks.

"Yeah, after a hell of a lot of hard work, a ton of self-doubt, and cutting ties with my parents."

"What?" Haley gasps. "Lucas never mentioned anything about that."

"Well, it wasn't really something I felt like spreading around."

"What happened?"

"The pressure was just too much. My dad was humiliated by my lack of play time at Duke. Things just built from there. And my mom just did nothing. Did you know Lucas was the only one who attended my games on a semi-regular basis? Pretty dedicated considering he was a Tar Heel."

Haley laughs, "That sounds like Lucas."

"Yeah," Nathan smiles. "He really came through for me when all of the shit was hitting the fan. I could have felt as though I was losing everything that had ever been important to me. And it's interesting how quickly you discover who your true friends are when you lose your shot at the NBA."

Haley winces slightly at the implication of his words. "I'm sorry, Nathan," she says sincerely.

He shrugs, "It was okay. Lucas would run drills with me, keep me focused. He was there for me."

"What do you miss most about him?" Haley questions quietly after several moments of silence.

"Huh?" Nathan is caught off guard by the question.

"Lucas," Haley clarifies. "What do you miss most about him?"

Nathan runs a hand through his hair, unsure of how to respond.

"Man, Haley, I don't know," he says gruffly. "I mean, I do. There are a lot of things I miss about him. But the thing I miss most? I think I just miss having a brother. I kind of liked having someone who I was going to be connected to no matter what, you know? Like, I always knew I had a place to stay if I came to Tree Hill. And I always had someone to hang with for the holidays when Dan got to be too much. Just the little things like that."

Haley is watching him with a thoughtful expression and she nods solemnly.

"I miss a lot of things," she admits. But the one thing I wish I could get back are the phone calls at all hours of the night." She lets out a laugh and brushes a tear from her cheek before looking up at him, sadness in her eyes. He used to call me--no matter what time it was--for the most ridiculous reasons! He'd call just to tell me something or if he wanted to talk or with random questions about life. He used to say if he didn't say what needed to be said in the moment, he was afraid he would never get the chance." She shakes her head as she remembers. "It used to drive me crazy, but now...I find myself putting my phone next to my bed out of habit. Only now I know it won't be ringing. I miss knowing that there was always someone on the other end of the line, you know?"

Nodding in understanding, Nathan reaches over and gives her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder.

Falling back against the sand, her hair in complete disarray and her eyes red-rimmed, Haley looks up at the dark sky and sighs before letting her eyes fall closed.

Nathan looks down and practically breathes in the sight of her. And right now, in this very moment, he sees her stretched out before him with her eyes closed and her arms splayed. Her long hair, almost silver in the darkness, is arranged haphazardly around her head, and her fair skin looks almost ethereal in the moonlight. He sees the way her small hands are trailing through the sand and allowing the grains to fall through her fingertips. He notices the flutter of her eyelashes and the hint of a smile that rests on her lips. She's a beautiful, beautiful woman, and as he looks at her he expects to feel the usual rush of adrenaline he gets when he sets his sights on a conquest. He expects to feel almost predatory and willing to say or do almost anything to get what he wants.

But he doesn't. Instead he's got these pangs, these _feelings_, pouring through him. There's a tightness in his throat and an twisting in his stomach and a clamminess to his skin--and they all seem to strike when she's within reach. He feels awed and protective and admiring.

But then he sees slight puffiness around her eyes and the glossy tear tracks on her cheeks. And he remembers that she's been crying over Lucas. She's missing him and suffering without him. And it's all because of a something that could have changed if Nathan had been just a split-second faster with the brake or a split-second slower with the gas. It came down to reflexes and instincts--two things a professional basketball player should possess in spades. But he'd failed. And now Haley is without Lucas.

The reality is more than he can handle.

"We should probably get back," he announces suddenly, his voice gruff as he stands and brushes the sand from his clothing. "I'll drive you home."

Haley's eyes open wide and she sits up clumsily. "What?"

"I said we should get back," he repeats.

"No, I heard you," Haley retorts. "Why? What happened?"

"Nothing," Nathan shrugs. "I've just got stuff to do."

"At..." Haley glances at her watch, "eleven-thirty on a Tuesday night? Have you got a hot date or something?"

Nathan answers without thinking, "Old habits die hard. What can I say?"

Haley's face hardens almost immediately and Nathan can almost see her protective walls lock into place as she rises to her feet and plants her hands solidly on her slim hips. But even more distressing than her sudden shutdown is the momentary expression of hurt that had flashed across her face.

"Haley," he starts off.

She shakes her head and lifts a hand, "Just don't. Old habits die hard, huh? Well, you've made that much very clear. I guess I'll have to inform Karen that she was wrong about you."

The mention of Karen piques Nathan's attention. "What do you mean?" he probes.

Haley crosses her arms and cocks her head, "Karen was the one to convince me to give you a shot." She shakes her head. "What a disappointment."

And with those three final words, Nathan swears he can feel something breaking inside of him. Disappointment isn't something new. He's used to seeing it in his mother's eyes or hearing it in his father's voice, but to have Haley express her disappointment so candidly is unbelievably painful.

"Haley!" he calls after her when he realizes she's a good fifty yards down the beach. "At least let me drive you."

"Oh, puh-leeeze!" she yells as she waves a hand erratically through the air. "I'll call a cab. Or a friend. Something!"

**********

The constant thunder of the surf is almost soothing as he sits in a weathered wooden chair, the same bottle of vodka resting on one of the rough planks of the beach house deck. It's just past one in the morning and it's been almost two hours since he'd completely freaked out on Haley. She hadn't gotten much more than one hundred yards down the beach when his concern became too much. Consequently he'd gotten up and trailed her from a distance, watching her figure huddled against the brisk night air and waiting until she'd been safely picked up.

He had tried sleeping, but he'd quickly found it to be a hopeless endeavor since every time he closed his eyes he was confronted with the image of Haley looking at him with such disappointment and disgust. Not exactly the stuff of dreams.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" he grumbles in frustration. "

Staring out at the rolling surf, Nathan raises the bottle to his lips and takes another swig. His cell phone is perched atop his thigh, its display glowing steadily in the darkness and, not for the first time, he picks it up and stares blankly at the screen.

Finally, he takes a breath and dials.

"City and state?" the automated voice requests.

"Tree Hill, North Carolina."

"Listing?"

"Haley James."

"Please hold while I connect you."

Nathan holds.

************

Kicking her feet free of the tangled mass of bedding, Haley rolls over and opens one eye to check the time. One in the morning and she still hasn't gotten a bit of sleep. Rolling back over, she punches her pillow a few times and then tries to find a cool spot in the sheets. Staring at the ceiling, she's down to her last resort of counting sheep when the ear-piercing chirp of her telephone nearly causes her to hit the ceiling. Startled, she picks up the phone and stares at it for a moment as she thinks of Lucas. Then, pressing the talk button, she answers.

"Hello?" she mumbles tiredly.

"Hey."

"Nathan? What are you doing? It's the middle of the night!"

His voice is low and his words are slightly slurred as he responds, "Yeah, I know. But I had to call you. I couldn't leave things the way they were when you left."

Haley sighs heavily and settles back against her pillow, "Well, you were the one basically forcing me to leave."

"I lied," he admits.

"What are you talking about?" she questions impatiently.

"I didn't have anywhere to be. There was no date."

"Oh, so you just wanted me to leave because you were tired of me?" Haley queries in disbelief. "Even better."

"No!" Nathan exclaims. "No, I just...got to thinking about Lucas and...I just freaked a little."

There's a moment of silence that seems to last much longer than just a moment.

"Oh," Haley replies softly.

"Yeah."

"Well, you could have mentioned that," Haley points out. "I would have understood."

"Well, it's not a very manly thing to admit."

"Well, you're not a very manly guy, so I wouldn't have been the least bit surprised," Haley teases.

"Jesus, Haley," Nathan groans. "Talk about below the belt!"

"Like you don't deserve it," Haley chuckles softly and then winces when she glances at the clock. She continues apologetically, "Listen, Nathan, I've got to work tomorrow morning so I should really go. Maybe we could talk about this later?"

"Oh sure, there's just one more thing. I just wanted you to know something."

"What is it?" she questions quietly.

"I just wanted to tell you...there was something you said tonight. I just…there's still always going to be someone on the other end of the line, Haley. I may not be the right person, but I'm here."

There's a long silence.

Tears begin to blur Haley's vision and she sniffles slightly before answer.

"Thank you, Nathan."

"Night, James."

"Good night, Nathan."

*******************

She finds herself almost dreading the familiar chime of the bell over the entrance to the café. Since "the night" she doesn't know how to feel about being around him. Once again, Nathan Scott had proven his ability to be a monumental asshole.

But his phone call--however ill-timed--had seemed to be a genuine effort on his part. While she wishes that it could all be as simple as Nathan is good or Nathan is evil, she's starting to realize that gray area does exist…even in the case of Nathan Scott.

The bell chimes and Haley turns around almost hesitantly. She instantly relaxes when she sees that the latest patrons look to be several college boys from UNC. Pulling her pad and pen from her apron pocket, she hurries over to greet the group.

"Hi guys," she smiles pleasantly as she hands them some menus. "Can I get some drinks started for you?"

They each have a typical frat boy look to them--clean-cut, styled hair, expensive clothes, charming smiles. Haley watches as they give her a once-over and then exchange looks.

The ringleader of the group--a guy with blond hair and dark eyes--speaks up. "Sure, uh…I'm sorry. What was your name?"

Haley fights the urge to roll her eyes and offers a tight smile. "Haley."

"Nice to meet you, Haley," he nods. "I'm Carter and these are some of my buddies. We're just passing through town on a road trip and thought we'd stop here for the day. If I'd known they had such pretty girls here, I probably would have stopped here sooner. Any recommendations on what Tree Hill has to offer?"

"There's not much to do around here," Haley replies sweetly. "Anything to drink?"

"Well, we've heard that you guys have some pretty nice beaches. You look like the kind of girl who probably knows the hot spots. Maybe you could show us around?"

"I don't think so," Haley answers, her smile growing more forced by the second. "Tell you what, I'll leave you guys to look over your menus and I'll get you some waters."

As she hurries away from the table, Haley has to fight the urge to gag. While she can admit that they were being perfectly polite, Carter's so-called charm is a bit over the top.

The bell chimes once again as she's filling a tray with water glasses, and this time she sees the face she's been both anticipating and dreading all morning.

"Late again!" Haley singsongs casually when he finally slides into his usual stool.

"Worried?" Nathan asks teasingly.

"Only that you're out scaring small children and kicking old women," she returns dryly.

"I resent that," Nathan answers staunchly. "I stopped kicking old women _at least _six months ago."

"And society is the better for it," Haley announces somewhat wearily. "Seriously though, where have you been disappearing to?"

"I told you before," he insists, "The river court."

"And if you're not tackling other guys as you so firmly insist, what exactly do you _do _there?"

Nathan looks confused for a moment and then begins explaining patiently, "Well, Haley, there's this pole that has a hoop attached to it, and in some cultures there's a game where--"

"I know what other people do there! I meant what are _you _doing there, you jackass! Because I know _you're _not playing."

"I just hang out with some guys I know," Nathan replies vaguely.

"And…?" Haley trails off expectantly.

Nathan shrugs.

"Well," Haley comments, "I don't buy it."

Nathan looks surprised. "Why?"

"I don't believe that there are actually guys who want to hang out with you," Haley deadpans. "I'll believe that when I see it."

Nathan makes a face at her before grabbing a menu to make his choice for the day. "Let's go for the Classic Breakfast today," he announces.

Haley nods and quickly puts his order in.

"Ugh," Haley groans when she sees the UNC boys motioning her over. Hoisting the tray of water glasses onto one shoulder, she turns to Nathan. "If I'm not back in five minutes, look for me on the next Girls Gone Wild DVD."

"What?!" Nathan perks up immediately.

"The frat boys over there," Haley nods.

Nathan frowns, "What? Are they harassing you?"

Haley takes one look at Nathan who suddenly looks ready to pounce and lets out a short laugh. "Relax," she urges. "They're just attempting to use their college boy charm on me. They don't realize they're wasting their efforts on the wrong person."

"And why is that?"

Haley levels him with a direct stare and asks, "Do I look like the type to booze it up at the frat house?"

"I thought you said you had fun in college," Nathan reminds her with a grin.

"Not that much fun," Haley mutters under her breath as she heads out to their table.

"Here we go, guys," she announces as she sets the glasses down on the table. "Are we ready to order?"

The guys exchange pleased looks once again and then Carter nods. "Actually, Haley, we've got a proposal for you. See, we're here for the day and we were wondering if you…and maybe some of your friends…"

Haley is resisting the urge to roll her eyes when suddenly a pair of arms are snaking around her waist. She's about to squeal and smack this inappropriate lunatic with her empty tray when she feels a pair of lips press just below her ear and the rumble of a familiar voice rings out.

"Come on, baby! I thought you were going to take your break with me. Karen just got back and said she'd cover your tables."

Taking a breath, Haley relaxes back into Nathan's embrace and smiles at the gaping faces of the boys.

"Hey!" One of the frat guys pipes up. "Aren't you…?"

"Nathan Scott. Nice to meet you guys." Nathan smiles. Keeping one arm wrapped around Haley, he gestures to the t-shirt one of the guys is wearing. "UNC boys, huh? Well, obviously I'm a Duke man myself, but I guess I won't hold it against you."

"Man, I'm a huge Phoenix fan," another of the frat guys speaks up. "I was so bummed when I heard about your injury. How's the rehab going?"

"It's going," Nathan answers noncommittally. "Now you guys won't mind if I steal my girl away, will you? She left before I had a chance to see her this morning and you know how that goes." He gives the group a knowing look and then pulls Haley even closer.

"Sure, dude," Carter agrees. "Do what you've gotta do."

"Thanks, you guys," Haley chimes in. "Karen will be right over to take over from here.

With both arms still wrapped around Haley's middle, Nathan manages to steer them both back towards the counter.

"I can't believe you did that," Haley hisses in shock.

Nathan shrugs and gives her a crooked grin, "And leave you in the clutches of the evil frat boys? You might never have found your way out of the land of beer pong and keg stands. And then who would insult me every morning during breakfast? See? It was all part of my selfish plan."

"Oh," Haley replies simply. "Well, then I guess I should hold up my end of the bargain."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

Haley huffs, "By calling you an idiot, idiot."

"I do enjoy these times we share."

"Hey, Nathan?" Haley says a few minutes later.

"What?" Nathan looks up from his heaping plate of food.

"Thanks."

Nathan chuckles, "That's what friends are for."

And then Haley snatches a piece of bacon from his plate, chomping on it triumphantly as Nathan just looks on with amusement.

*******************

For the next several weeks, Haley and Nathan seem to spend every spare moment together. They go to the movies, share meals, watch television, play games, and even go for walks together. The more time they spend together, the more they begin to regard each other as genuine friends. Despite Luke's marked absence from their lives, they both feel as though they've regained some piece of their respective relationships with him. By getting to know each other, it's almost as though they are each getting to know a side of Lucas that had remained hidden to each of them while he was alive.

Lifting the his last forkful of eggs to his lips, Nathan swallows and then washes it down with a swig of orange juice. Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Nathan looks up and watches Haley as she sips from a cup of coffee and scans the newspaper.

"So why exactly is Paris Hilton's STD considered front page news?" Haley breaks the silence and looks up with a squinty-eyed expression of confusion.

"Responsible journalism. They're informing the thousands of guys she's slept with that they need to get to their doctor? Speaking of…I should probably make an appointment myself…" Nathan trails off with a grin.

Haley grimaces and then reaches over to give him a hearty punch to the shoulder. "You're disgusting!"

"And yet I'm not the one who so recently admitted that she doesn't always shave her legs during the winter."

"I wear jeans every day anyway!" Haley protests. "And you weren't supposed to repeat that!"

Amused, Nathan lets our a quiet laugh and shakes his head. "You're off in a few minutes aren't you?" he checks.

"Yeah," Haley murmurs distractedly. "Karen just wanted me to come in and open for her this morning." She looks up curiously. "Why?"

Nathan stares at her for a moment before asking, "Do you trust me?"

Haley lowers the news article she's been perusing and narrows her eyes suspiciously, "I did until you asked me that."

Nathan rolls his eyes before smiling good-naturedly and holding out his hand, "Come on, I want to take you somewhere."

"And where exactly do you want to take me?"

"I want to show you something," he answers honestly.

She stands for a moment and takes in the sight of him in a t-shirt and track pants, a boyish smile on his face as he waits for her to take his hand. It's a side of Nathan that she would never have thought existed, but it's a side that she's seen on numerous occasions over the past several weeks. And it seems to be a side of him that surfaces most often when he's around her.

"Okay," she agrees with a heavy sigh. "But I'm going like this," she warns him, gesturing towards her casual attire.

Giving her a subtle once-over, Nathan notices her faded blue jeans and her tiny USC t-shirt for the first time. Fighting the urge to lick his lips at the sight of her alma mater's initials stretched so enticingly over her chest, he shrugs, "Just don't blame me if you get heckled for sporting Trojan attire in Blue Devil territory."

"I'll get over it, I'm sure," she assures him dryly.

*********************

Haley hadn't known what to expect of Nathan's secretive behavior, but she certainly hadn't expected this.

Hopping out of Nathan's SUV, she follows him across the lawn and towards the basketball court she once knew so well. A group of boys are gathered at center court with one taller figure among them. Glancing over at Nathan, Haley watches as he tosses a hand up in greeting, and she's taken aback when the cluster of boys come sprinting in their direction as they shout excited greetings.

"Nathan!"

"Hi Nate!"

"Nathan, I need help with my jump shot!"

"Nathan are you staying for the whole practice?"

Finally, the boys seem to notice her presence and they all quiet down in anticipation of an explanation.

"Who's she?" one of the smaller boys finally asks.

"Guys, this is my friend Haley," Nathan introduces with a smile.

"Does she play?" a lanky blond boy questions skeptically.

Haley lets out a short laugh and shakes her head, "Uh, no."

"So…_Haley,_" the blond boy remarks suspiciously. "I'm Jason." He gestures to the dark haired boy next to him. "This is Dex."

"Nice to meet you both," Haley says as she shakes their hands.

"This is Ryan, that's Mark and Travis," Nathan introduces as he points out each of the boys. Finally, he motions to the taller figure Haley had noticed earlier. "You probably remember Skills from high school."

"Of course," Haley nods before moving forward to pull Skills into a quick hug. "It's good to see you, Skills. How are you?"

"Can't complain," Skills replies with an easy smile before turning to the boys who are watching the exchange with wide eyes. Clapping his hands, he calls out, "Alright guys, you know the drill! Let's see some suicides!"

The boys break out in a chorus of moans and groans, but they're quickly silenced when they see the disapproving look on Nathan's face. Within seconds they're dashing towards the end line.

Chuckling, Skills turns his attention back to Haley and Nathan. "You look great, Haley."

"Thanks," she smiles. "So do you."

"Have to say though," he starts with a look of mischief in his eyes, "I'm more than a little surprised to see you here with Nathan. I remember how tight you was with Lucas. And Nathan wasn't exactly your favorite person if I remember right."

Haley laughs lightly before nodding, "You remember right. And you're not the only one who's surprised." With a teasing glance in Nathan's direction, she continues, "I'm hoping that his case of jackass is kind of like the chicken pox--you have it once, you make those around you suffer, and then you never have it again."

Skills lets out a surprised howl of laughter at Haley's words, and Nathan gives her a wounded look.

"Oh, please," she chides. "You know you were a nightmare in high school."

"So…is there going to be a practice or what?" Nathan asks Skills, effectively changing the subject.

Skills laughs heartily before shifting his focus to the boys on the court.

Gesturing towards the picnic table that is still positioned next to the court after all these years, Nathan walks with Haley as she seats herself on the bench.

"So why didn't you tell me that 'the guys' are actually a bunch of boys?"

Nathan glances at her and shrugs somewhat awkwardly, "Right, because you wouldn't have taken that and run with it. A former NBA basketball player hanging out with a bunch of elevent and twelve year-olds? I can already hear the Michael Jackson jokes."

Haley opens her mouth to protest and then stops. She shrugs, "Okay, you got me. But seriously, Nathan, I think it's great."

"Yeah?"

"Sure," she nods. "You've got an opportunity to do something great for these boys."

"Yeah," Nathan agrees. "They actually play for a summer league team that Skills coaches. I ran into them out here one day when I first got back into town and I've been coming back ever since."

"Well, it's a great way for you to stay involved in the game until you can get back to it yourself," Haley points out.

Nathan tenses suddenly and glances quickly at her before turning away. He clears his throat loudly before he shrugs a careless shoulder and murmurs, "I guess."

Confused by his gruff reaction to her words, Haley frowns in his direction. His attention is on the boys though, and his rigid posture and tense jawline make it quite clear that he's not going to be willing to discuss the issue any further.

"Nathan!" The boy Haley recognizes as Travis is standing at the edge of the court, the basketball in his hands nearly dwarfing him. "Can you help me with my free throws?"

Haley smiles at the boy and then nods to Nathan, "I guess you'd better get out there, huh?"

She watches the boys play for nearly an hour, and she's surprised by her own involvement in the game. Although she'd attended Luke's basketball games in high school, she'd always had a book or a magazine to keep her occupied throughout the game. She has no such luxury this evening, but she's not sure she would be using it even if she did. It's a joy to watch Nathan get so involved in something. His passion for the game is clear and she can't help but smile each time she sees him bending down to provide tips to each of the young players.

Nathan is whistling as they climb into his car after practice. They'd waited until the last of the boys had gone home, and Haley had promised Skills that she would see him again before leaving town. Once in the car, Nathan puts the key in the ignition, but stops when Haley interrupts.

"Why did you bring me here?" she asks softly.

Nathan quirks an eyebrow and turns to her. "What do you mean? You're the one who's been bugging me about where I spend my mornings."

"Yeah, but I was just teasing and you knew that. And you were keeping this to yourself. So what made you decide to share it with me?"

"I don't have many things to be proud of," he says finally. "This is something I _can _be proud of. For some reason, I felt like I needed to show it to you."

Haley stares at him for a moment, touched by the honesty of his answer. Finally, she speaks up, "Thanks for bringing me, Nathan. I really enjoyed it."

Nathan nods and gives her a smile. "I hoped you would. I'm glad you did."

*******************

"Ha! Hole in one!" she cries out triumphantly after tapping her yellow golf ball into the hole.

Nathan sits back on a nearby bench and watches as Haley bounces across the Astroturf, her long hair waving around her as she cheers and squeals like a little girl. Cocking his head, he crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head with an amused smile. She looks almost like a teenager in her denim skirt and her black tank top, her hair knotted loosely at the base of her neck.

"Are you done yet?" he questions finally. "You know, I don't know why you always insist on miniature golf. It's so clichéd."

Haley freezes mid-dance. "What do you mean it's clichéd?" she demands indignantly.

Nathan gives her a knowing look. "Come on!" he exclaims. "Guy and Girl go for a game of miniature golf. Girl pretends to need help so Guy has a reason to touch her. A few holes later Guy is making out with Girl behind the windmill." Nathan shrugs cockily, "You know, if you wanted to make out behind the windmill, all you had to do was ask."

Haley stands stunned in the middle of the putting green, her jaw dropped and her eyebrows raised practically to her hairline. It's not until a hot pink golf ball comes flying out of nowhere and into her shin that she snaps out of her state of shock.

"Shit! Ow! Damn, that hurt!" she shouts crassly, hopping on one foot as she awkwardly rubs her bruised shin.

"Sorry about that!" a voice calls from the next hole over.

Startled by the rapid-fire sequence of events, Nathan stands dumbfounded for several seconds before springing into action. "Jesus, Hales! Are you okay?" Rushing forward, he drops to his knees and examines her slender lower-leg. A knot is already forming where the ball made contact and she hisses when he runs his finger over the tender area. Her otherwise golden skin is already looking mottled and it's obvious that the area is going to bruise. "We should get you some ice," Nathan suggests.

Haley shakes her head, "It's fine."

"If we don't ice it, it's going to swell and--"

"It's _fine_," Haley repeats, this time more firmly.

"I'm getting some ice," Nathan insists just as firmly before jogging away in search of an icepack.

No more than five minutes later, she's seated on a wrought iron bench while Nathan kneels in front of her, a baggie of ice pressed against her shin. She gasps at the chill of the baggie against her bare skin, and she's somewhat touched by Nathan's attentive manner. His fingertips are gentle as he examines the welt, and there's genuine concern in his eyes when he looks up at her to assess her level of pain. While Nathan is focused exclusively on her injury, Haley notices the envious looks she's receiving from female passers-by. As if Nathan could really be interested in her _that _way.

Leaning forward to get a closer look at her leg, she shivers slightly when a drop of water leaks from the melting ice pack and trickles down her leg. "It looks better," she murmurs softly. "Thanks."

As though he can feel her change in proximity, Nathan looks up suddenly and is surprised to discover Haley's face just inches from his own. He pulls the ice away from her leg and nods, his forehead almost brushing against hers. "I think you're good," he remarks gruffly.

Haley nods and gives him a grateful smile, which causes his heartbeat to quicken. Her face is so open, so trusting. And her smile is so genuine, like she's really looking at him as a friend. She's looking at him the way he's seen her look at the people she cares about most: Lucas, Brooke, Peyton, Karen. But never him. Until today, until this moment, it's never been him. Before he knows it, he's leaning forward and his lips are on hers.

Her lips are incredibly soft and he immediately lifts his hands to cradle her face, his thumbs whispering against her cheekbones. He hears a small squeak of surprise and then feels her relax for a moment before she's suddenly pushing him away, her fists bumping against his chest. Stumbling backwards in an attempt to avoid her flying fists, Nathan is barely able to scramble out of the way as Haley comes leaping away from the bench. With one disbelieving hand pressed against her lips, she begins pacing, her head shaking back and forth.

"What...? That's not... This isn't..._that_, Nathan!" she rambles nonsensically. "This can't be _that_."

"Why not?" Nathan demands to know. "Why can't it?"

Haley stops pacing and faces him head-on. "It just...can't!" she exclaims. "This is you and me and it's impossible! I just…I can't do it."

Slowly, her expression of shock melts away to reveal something even more distressing: panic.

"Look, I'm sorry for catching you off-guard, Hales. But I'm not sorry for acting on what I was feeling," Nathan rushes to explain.

"No," Haley repeats and begins pacing once again. Her voice becomes more shrill and Nathan can see the brimming of tears in her wide eyes. "I can't do this. Please, Nathan. Don't do this. Don't ruin what we've built this summer just for…" she sweeps an arm outward in dramatic fashion.

Nathan tenses slightly, "This isn't just about some primal urge, Haley. I have a little bit more self-control than that."

Haley whirls around to face him once again, only this time the tears have spilled. She drops onto the bench and sniffles as she swipes roughly at her tears. The mess of tearstains across her cheeks is like a punch in the gut for Nathan.

"Come on, Nathan! We both know who you are! Have you changed? Sure." Haley offers him a fond smile through her tears and her voice cracks slightly. "You're an amazing guy. But this," she gestures at the space between them, "is never going to happen. We're too different. I'm pretty sure I'm not what you want."

Nathan stares for a moment. The implication of her words hits him with a force that leaves him almost breathless. She still thinks of him as that mean-hearted, teenaged playboy. Good enough to have as a friend, but certainly not worth pursuing romantically. He finds himself trying to remember the last time he was so torturously rejected. He can't recall anything.

"I can't be another Lucas for you, Haley," he finally chokes out. "High fives and brotherly hugs and all of that. When I look at you, when I'm around you, I…" he shakes his head. "That's just not who I am."

"That's not who I'm asking you to be," Haley argues quietly. "I'm asking you to be Nathan. My friend Nathan. The guy who comes to the café to eat breakfast with me and watches romantic comedies _almost _without complaining and tries to convince me that my clumsiness is actually endearing."

Nathan turns away from her and lets his head roll back so he can stare at the night sky. Finally, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He turns around to meet her hopeful gaze and nods.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Haley squeaks in surprise. "That's it?"

Nathan shrugs easily, "If that's what you need, then okay."

The both remain silent then, unsure of how to move forward. Then Haley looks up meekly.

"My leg hurts," she whines pathetically.

Closing the distance that separates them, Nathan offers a hand to help her up from the bench. Then he allows a smug grin to spread across his features. "Serves you right, you know. Jumping around and squealing like that."

"Sounds like someone is being a poor loser," Haley retorts primly with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes as she leans down and prods gently at the bruised area. "Are you embarrassed that you lost to an athletically-challenged former geek?"

Nathan lets out a laugh and raises a hand to stop Haley in her tracks. "Wait," he says, "did you say _former _geek? Did you miss the part where you got nailed by an AWOL golf ball?"

Haley winces, "I'm pretty sure I won't be able to forget anytime soon."

Nathan chuckles and then slings an arm around Haley's shoulders. "Come on, you geek. I'm in the mood for some ice cream. I'll even treat you if you'll promise never to do that victory dance again."

Haley ponders the offer for just a moment before deciding. "Deal."


	4. The Realization

**First off, I have to apologize for the delay. I really didn't intend for there to be such a gap between chapters, but the past two and a half months have been incredibly difficult for me. Without going into too much detail, let me just say that I received some terrible news in January and was struggling to deal with that. Then I received another (totally unrelated) dose of terrible news in February and spent time handling that. Thankfully, March has been very kind to me and I've been doing my very best to get caught up on chapters. I just want to thank you all for the kind feedback on this fic as well as "The Country Club". I hope you continue to enjoy the final few chapters.**

**Part Four--The Realization**

The bright morning sun is pouring through the windows and spilling rich, golden light across the creaking floorboards of the café. The sounds of the usual morning traffic can be heard, and on this particular day, they've been lucky enough to hear the sounds of a construction crew at work on the building next door.

Closing her eyes and clenching her jaw, Haley does her best to push the persistent noises out of her mind. Ah, there's nothing like a jackhammer in the morning, she thinks. Rolling her eyes, she turns her attention to her one and only customer.

"So…are you still practicing with Skills and his team?"

Nathan watches her over the rim of his coffee cup. He holds up a finger to finish his sip before answering.

"I was," he responds. "But their season is over already. I guess they want the kids to have a few weeks to prepare for school or something."

Haley nods in understanding and then busies herself with the arrangement of items in the pastry case. As she does so, she finds herself praying that she'll hear the chime of another customer arriving. She never thought she'd be wishing for a busy morning at the café, but these awkward silences with Nathan are torturous. No matter how many times she tries to spark a casual conversation, their interactions seem to fall flat. There's a big, fat, hairy elephant in the room, and neither of them has the guts to face it head-on.

With her head practically inside of the glass pastry case, she congratulates herself on finally coming up with a way to avoid the awkward situation, but then she almost doesn't hear the sound of Nathan's purposeful throat clearing. Standing abruptly, her head connects quite solidly with the top of the pastry case and she sees nothing but stars for a few moments. Backing up, her hand goes immediately to the back of her head as she lets out a string of expletives.

"Jesus, Haley!" Nathan exclaims. He leans forward over the counter to see her doubled over with her hand pressed against her head. "Are you okay?"

Peering up at him, Haley gives him the most cheerful smile she can muster. "Fine," she grates out. "Just call it karma."

"Okay…" Nathan replies. "Are you sure you're okay? You didn't break the skin, did you?"

Scowling, Haley tentatively pulls her hand away from her head and lets out a sigh of relief when she sees that it's blood free. "No," she assures him. "I'm fine."

Nathan watches her, his expression serious, before he finally nods. "Okay. Well, thanks for breakfast." He gestures at the crumpled bills he's left on the counter. "I guess I'll see you…later."

Yet another awkward silence persists as they stare silently at one another, and he hesitates once more. "You're sure you're okay?" he checks.

Biting her lip, Haley nods and gives him a halfhearted wave. "Sure. I'll see you later."

* * *

With a quick twist of her wrist, Haley turns the lock on the heavy glass door and hangs the CLOSED sign in the window. Heaving a tired sigh, she lifts one foot and then trades off to raise the other as she attempts to relieve some of the ache she feels after a long day on her feet. Glancing around the café, she confirms that the tables have all been wiped down and stocked with napkins, condiments, and other necessities. Stepping away from the front door, she rolls her neck and shrugs her shoulders in an effort to release some of the tension that's been bogging her down for the past couple of weeks. Of course, after her astonishing display of grace earlier this morning, she's also got a bitch of a headache to show for her full day's work.

She glances at one stool in particular as she makes her way behind the counter, and she feels a small tug in her gut. Things have gone completely and totally wrong over the past couple of weeks. Although she and Nathan had both agreed that everything was fine after their ill-fated kiss, it has become quite clear that they've been deluding themselves. As hard as they've tried to carry on their usual routine of friendly banter, their interaction has been nothing short of forced and awkward. Although Nathan still shows up on a fairly regular basis, Haley has gotten the distinct impression that oftentimes he'd rather been anywhere else. It's as if a wall has been erected between them and no matter how hard they try, they can't quite scale the damn thing. Today's utter failure of a conversation has simply confirmed what Haley has known all along.

She's ruined everything. No surprise there.

The cash register dings cheerfully as Haley opens the drawer and works to balance the till. After a few minutes of utter silence, she finds herself so engrossed in her task of counting bills that she doesn't hear the approach of footsteps from behind.

"All locked up?"

Startled, Haley turns quickly to see Karen watching her with crossed arms and a curious brow.

Releasing a breath and brushing a curl from her eyes, Haley nods with a small smile. "Yeah."

"You look tired," Karen murmurs sympathetically. "Maybe you should take a few days off and get some rest. You've been working like a maniac lately."

Haley shakes her head, her ponytail bobbing back and forth. "I'm fine, Karen."

Karen takes another step forward, her dark eyes clouded with concern. "I haven't seen too much of Nathan lately. He was practically living here just a few weeks ago. Did something happen between the two of you?"

Uncomfortable, Haley shrugs. "Oh, well…he's been here. I guess he's just been really busy. I don't really know."

"Busy? For the past two weeks?" Karen questions doubtfully. "He was becoming one of our most loyal regulars there for awhile. And he seemed to be especially loyal to one waitress in particular," she remarks pointedly.

"He's just…I'm…" Haley tenses before responding tightly, "I'm not sure Nathan and I are looking for the same things out of life right now. I thought we were kind of in the same place, but I guess I was wrong."

"And what if you're wrong now? What if you _are _looking for the same things?"

Haley shrugs absently. "I'm not going to try to understand the inner-workings of Nathan Scott's mind. I'd just be setting myself up for failure...and disappointment."

"That sounds a bit jaded," Karen observes neutrally. Her eyes narrow and she watches Haley closely. "Haley, is everything okay? Come to think of it, you've been a little bit out of sorts as well."

"Everything's fine," Haley assures Karen in as jovial a tone as she can handle. She continues thumbing through the stack of dollar bills in front of her, determined to avoid delving any deeper into the conversation.

"You know I love you like a daughter, Haley."

Surprised, Haley glances up. She nods. "I know."

Karen hesitates for a moment, as if she's not sure how to continue. "You're like a daughter to me, and that's why I haven't pushed you. I figured you needed a chance to heal your own way, but…"

"What?" Haley questions.

"Why are you here, Haley? Because as much as I love having you, and as much help as you've been, we both know that you're not just here to help me out."

Haley stiffens noticeably and shrugs.

"Lucas loved you and so do I. So you can stay in Tree Hill and work here for as long as you need, but sooner or later you're going to have to face whatever it is you're running from. Whether it's law school or California…or even Nathan, you can only run for so long. Eventually you're going to have to make some choices about what to do next in your life, and I'm pretty sure Stanford is going to expect you back once fall semester starts. I'm also pretty sure that Nathan will be sad to see you go. So what's it going to be?"

A tear escapes the corner of Haley's eye and she quickly swipes at it with the back of her hand.

"I don't know," she responds shakily. "I've done stupid things. I feel like I don't know what I want anymore. There are just a lot of things to deal with and…I just haven't been ready to face them. I don't know that I'll ever be ready."

"Maybe not," Karen answers sensibly. "But you may not have a choice."

Reaching forward, Karen pulls Haley into a motherly hug and rubs calming circles into her back. "I can't predict the future, but if there's anything I can guarantee, it's that you're always going to land on your feet. You'll figure things out, Haley James. I have faith in you."

* * *

The hoop rattles as the ball slams into the backboard and ricochets back into play on the court.

"Damn it, Nate! Come on, man!"

Frustrated, Skills snags the rebound and slams the ball so hard into the ground that it bounces a good eight feet into the air. Obviously irritated, he starts to walk off the court, mumbling under his breath as he goes.

Taken aback by the uncharacteristic display, Nathan shrugs indignantly and calls out, "What the hell's your problem, Skills?!"

Nathan watches as Skills stops and then whirls around after a moment. He retrieves the ball and then, stalking forward like he's been shot from a cannon, he launches into full attack mode.

"You really have to ask me that, Nate? I must be a glutton for punishment or somethin. Man, I'm meetin up with you almost every day for the past two weeks and you've been an ass pretty much every time."

"Well, I didn't think you were meeting me for a chance to socialize," Nathan sneers angrily. "I thought you wanted to play some basketball."

"Yeah," Skills agrees. "Except you can't even do that right! Do you even know how many times I've had to smack you to get your head back in the game? And don't get me started on how many times you let me go to the hole. Man, you're Nathan Scott! And you're letting a pee-wee basketball coach school your ass? I don't think so, man. That's a damn shame."

Nathan scowls childishly and kicks a leg out as he lets out an angry groan. Then he frowns, "Wait, you're mad at me because I'm not kicking your ass on the court?"

"Damn straight I am!" Skills exclaims. "I may not play for the NBA, but as your friend I deserve your respect, Nate. And that means I deserve your best game every time we play. You don't even have the sorry excuse of that damn knee brace anymore, so unless you're gonna tell me that you've gone soft since you left Phoenix, I want to see some game. Otherwise, I'm gonna give my pee-wee boys a call and have them come down to school your sorry self."

Nathan's jaw tightens with annoyance. "You want to see some game?" he questions challengingly.

"Did you hear what I said?" Skills responds loudly. In one quick motion, he sends the ball hurtling at Nathan.

Nathan catches the ball, grunting slightly from the force of the pass. Gritting his teeth against the stiffness in his knee, Nathan steps up and guides the ball with expert precision as he drives forward. He anticipates Skills quickness and agility, but he uses his own ball-handling prowess to out maneuver the attempts to block his shot. In a split second, he's in the air and letting the ball roll down the tips of his fingers and through the net with a whisper.

Dropping to the pavement, Nathan turns to see Skills standing with his arms crossed, a satisfied look on his face.

"Well, it's about damn time," Skills mutters. "And now that we've got that out of the way, we can deal with the real issues. What's on your mind, baller?"

Nathan dribbles the ball distractedly and looks at Skills in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Skills raises his eyebrows and nods at the basket. "Don't make me go through that whole speech again."

Feeling impatient, Nathan finally blurts it out. "She wants to be friends."

"Who?" Skills frowns.

"Haley."

Skills shrugs his shoulders indifferently. "So?"

"So…I don't know how to do that."

"You don't know how to be friends? Now I know your daddy did a number on you and all, but I'm pretty sure you're capable of maintaining a few friendships here and there. I mean, look at me. I'm still here. I sure as hell don't know why when you're such a damn fool, but here I am."

Nathan gives Skills a withering look. "And with friends like you, it's a wonder I have any doubts at all."

"Exactly," Skills agrees with a wide smile. "Now we're gettin somewhere."

"Whatever, man. My point is…I don't know how to be friends with her. I don't have girls as friends. My friends are the people I play ball with or go to strip clubs with." He scowls in disgust. "It's not like I can do those things with Haley."

Skills is watching Nathan with a look of utter disbelief. "You really are a fool! I mean, I was just sayin it before, but I was right. You're sittin here stressing about how to be friends with Haley James…and you're too blind to realize you been friends with her all along. Now, what I want to know is why y'all suddenly needed to define your relationship. What'd you do?"

"Nothing!" Nathan exclaims defensively.

"Don't make me take out your other knee," Skills threatens.

Nathan clenches his jaw, hesitant to admit his wrongdoing, but the truth finally bursts out. "I kissed her! Okay? I kissed her. We were out and there was a moment and I went for it!"

Nathan waits for several moments to get a reaction, but Skills is simply shaking his head.

"What?!" Nathan exclaims irritably. "Is that so wrong?"

"I don't know, man. You tell me," Skills answers calmly.

Nathan gapes for a few moments before he throws his hands up in defeat. "Would it kill you to give me a straight answer?!"

"Why did you kiss her, Nate?"

"What are you talking about?" Nathan demands impatiently. "I kissed her because the moment was right. We were having a good time together. She's a beautiful girl…I mean, you've seen her. And she's easy to be around. It was just…right."

"And that's it?" Skills confirms. "You kissed her because it seemed like the next step in your messed up version of the Nathan-Scott-Guide-to-Women?"

"Well, I wouldn't have put it like that, but yeah," Nathan agrees.

"Just one problem with that, Nate. You're forgetting that Haley knew you in high school. And I'm guessing she probably didn't think much of the way you treated the girls. You don't kiss girls like Haley because it's the next step to getting laid. You don't kiss girls like Haley James unless you've got a damned good reason."

Nathan thinks for a moment before it dawns on him. Skills is right. He's been treating Haley like he would have treated any other conquest. She shot him down because she knew where he was headed before _he _even knew where he was headed."

"Shit!" Nathan hisses. "But it wasn't like that! It's not like that, man! Haley's different."

"How is she different?"

Nathan shrugs his shoulders, a sheepish expression appearing on his face. Oh, Haley James is definitely different. But he's not about to go off spouting about the warmth of her eyes or the sound of her laugh. The last thing he needs is to have his man-card revoked for being a pathetic sap.

Skills levels him with a stare. "So how is Haley supposed to know she's different if you can't even explain it to _me_? And if she's so different, why are you treatin' her the way you treat every other girl? Man, you're so used to playin' women that you don't know what to do when the one you really want finally rejects you. Is that some hilarious karmic payback or what?!"

Nathan glares, not at all amused. "Well, I'm so glad I could serve as your entertainment for the day. But when you're done with your hyena impression, I could use some more advice."

"On what?"

"What should I do next?"

"I don't think you have much choice," Skills points out sensibly. "You've either got to be her friend or you'v e got to say good-bye. You can't force her to want something she doesn't want. I've known Haley for a long time, Nate. She's a good girl. We've always had each other's backs and she's worth having as a friend."

Nathan shakes his head, feeling slightly panicked. "But I'm attracted to her. So now I'm going to be spending time with someone I have feelings for, except I can't act on those feelings."

"And it'll probably be the healthiest relationship you've ever had," Skills points out. "You don't always have to have an endgame, Nate. Maybe you'll learn a little bit more about what makes Haley so different. Cause, right now, I don't think you know _what _you feel. I mean, I think _I _know. But you don't know what the hells's goin on."

Seeing that Nathan's mind has wandered, Skills takes the opportunity to knock the basketball from his grasp and goes dribbling to the top of the key.

"There are two things I do know for sure," Skills announces cockily.

"Oh really? And what are those?" Nathan smirks.

"First, I know that you're not going to get anywhere with Haley if you've been as much of a jackass with her as you have been with me. You'll be lucky if she even talks to you now. And second, I know that I'm gonna kick your gimpy ass all over this court. So you better step up or step off."

Nathan lets out a wry laugh and shakes his head before crouching in a defensive stance. "It's on."

* * *

The wind whips her hair and clothing in brutal fashion as she leans tiredly against the railing along the boardwalk. Stubborn strands of her ponytail sting her cheeks as her hair flutters wildly, and she wraps her arms around herself in an effort to fight the chill she's feeling. It's a bad idea for her to be out and about. She's been battling the flu for almost two days now, but she knows that staying in her house for so much as another hour would have driven her stir-crazy. Add to that the constant string of phone calls from Brooke and Peyton demanding to know what's wrong with her, and you have one miserable Haley James.

It's been three days since her conversation with Karen, and she hasn't seen Nathan since. She's not sure why his absence is weighing so heavily on her mind. She knows his reputation--hell, she's experienced his thoughtlessness firsthand--so she shouldn't be surprised by his sudden disappearing act. Still, she had enjoyed his company during the first part of the summer and she'd really thought that they'd managed to forge a genuine friendship. There had been moments, glimpses really, of a Nathan that she thinks she might be able to care for. Nathan is the first person to make her smile, truly smile, since…well, before everything. With Nathan, she'd been able to focus on the moment rather than on her regrets. And while she knows that he'll never be another Lucas, he has certainly helped to soothe the ache of losing her best friend. He's helped her to feel reconnected--with Lucas, with Tree Hill, and with a version of herself that she didn't hate.

And then that damned kiss.

Truth be told, there was a small part of her that had fluttered hopefully at the feel of his lips on hers. A tiny part of her that wondered if maybe, just maybe, she was special enough to make Nathan want her on a level beyond lust. But then her notorious common sense had broken through her wishful haze and had quickly shattered any romantic notions she may have been harboring somewhere deep down. After all, a kiss isn't exactly a declaration of love…or even like…for a guy like Nathan Scott.

If there's one thing she's learned over the past several months, it's that Haley James doesn't do relationships.

At least not well.

Trust is far too easily destroyed and broken hearts are not nearly so easy to mend.

* * *

Fate really can be a bitch.

Ignoring the harsh summer winds, Nathan walks rather aimlessly along the waterfront as he tries to develop some sort of story or explanation for his jackass behavior towards Haley. The suns afternoon glare shimmers elegantly over the rippled surface of the ocean, and Nathan finds himself squinting against the brightness as he continues down the path. He ignores most of the passers-by as he focuses on his own wallowing, but then he notices the petite silhouette of a woman leaning against the railing. Feeling an anxious twist in his gut, he slows his approach and, sure enough, he recognizes Haley, from the thick knot of golden hair on top of her head to the dainty feet poking out from beneath her jeans.

She's wearing a flowing cotton tank top and staring distantly into the horizon as Nathan stares at her, wondering whether he should speak to her. He finds himself taking pleasure in the act of watching her, absorbing all of the little details of the vision she presents. He notices the length of her neck and her elegant jaw line. He notices the rich golden tones of her skin and the way she rocks back and forth against the railing. He also notices the shudder of her shoulders as she fights a wrenching cough, and he catches a glimpse of her flushed cheeks as she turns her head ever so slightly.

He can't quite pinpoint what he feels as he watches her, but it's something like a mixture of warmth and protectiveness and vulnerability. Yep, she's definitely different than most women.

He's at her side before he even realizes it.

"You don't look so good," he remarks quietly, his voice barely carrying over the whistling wind.

Surprised, Haley glances up, her eyes slightly puffy and her nose more than a little chapped. "Gee, thanks," she mutters dryly. "You practice that kind of charm on all the ladies?"

Nathan shrugs and gives her a small smile. "Just you. Guess you're special."

"Yeah, that's one word for it." Lowering her head into her hands, Haley lets out a sigh.

Concerned, Nathan frowns and then moves to give her shoulder a squeeze before catching himself and pulling back. "How's your head?"

She nearly snorts with laughter. "Sore."

"So you're…okay?" he questions again in an effort to stall for time.

Haley nods tiredly. "I'm fine. Every year I end up with the flu in the middle of summer. Hey, it's like you said, I'm special."

Nathan frowns. "Maybe you shouldn't be out if you're sick."

Haley rolls her eyes. "I'm fine, Nathan. But I'm surprised you even care. What are you doing here?"

Reaching up to rub the back of his neck uncomfortably, Nathan shrugs. "I uh…I had some things I needed to sort through."

"Like what? The hot blondes of Tree Hill?"

And like that, the ice is broken. A wide smile breaks out over Nathan's face, and suddenly it's easy again. Haley _is _different. She's different because he doesn't feel like he has to work hard just to be with her. It's natural. If that's what this friendship thing is all about, maybe he'll take it.

"Funny," he retorts dryly.

"I thought so," Haley singsongs lightly.

A heavy silence hangs in the air, and they each eye one another as they grapple for a way to move forward without sacrificing the familiar banter that has suddenly resurfaced between them.

"Hey, uh, you wanna go for a walk?" Nathan requests finally with a nod towards the beach.

Haley glances at the water and then turns back to Nathan.

"Sure," she agrees with a smile.

* * *

The wind dies down as the evening progresses, and Nathan and Haley find themselves a good half-mile down the beach before either of them says a word. The waves keep washing up over their feet, and the packed sand squeaks as they walk down the long stretch near the surf.

"What do you want, Nathan?" Haley finally blurts out abruptly.

Nathan looks up, startled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I thought you were okay with the way we left things after…that night. I thought we were in agreement."

"We were," Nathan insists.

"Then why have things been so awkward between us for the past few weeks. I tried over and over to have conversations with you and all I got were grunts or one-word responses. I had to practically knock myself unconscious to get your attention."

"I never grunted!"

Haley raises a challenging eyebrow. "You definitely grunted."

Another wave crashes up around their legs, and Haley squeals slightly as she gets soaked by the impact. She jogs further up the beach and drops on a dry patch of sand. She shivers as she waits for Nathan to catch up and then looks at him expectantly when he sits down next to her.

Sighing forlornly, Nathan shrugs. "Jesus, Haley. I don't know. I don't do…this," he explains as he gestures between them.

"You don't do what?" Haley questions.

"The friendship thing," he clarifies. "That's not the way I operate."

"You don't have friends?" Haley replies skeptically.

"Not friends who are women!" Nathan exclaims.

"Well, it's not like I'm forcing myself on you," Haley points out somewhat indignantly, her hands trailing idly through the fine grains of sand at her sides.

"No, I just…don't want to wreck things with you. We were having fun, Haley. You're different than most women."

"Because I won't just sleep with you?" she inquires dryly.

"Well, there is that," Nathan agrees teasingly.

"Things were just easy between us. And I've never spent time with a woman when she didn't have…expectations."

"Expectations…" Haley echoes questioningly.

"Expectations," Nathan emphasizes pointedly.

"Oh. Oh! Those kinds of expectations!"

"Yeah," Nathan mumbles in embarrassment. "And while we're on the topic of our personal issues, let me be the one to point out that I'm not the only one who's been distant lately."

Haley turns to stare out at the water and nods. "I know," she admits quietly, her hair swaying in the light breeze.

"What's up, James?"

Haley remains silent for a moment, her gaze fixed on some distant point, and for a moment Nathan thinks she hasn't heard him. Then she lets out a small chuckle.

"You know, Lucas once gave me a lecture on true love?"

Nathan's eyes widen at the random change of subject, but he opts to follow her train of thought. "Is that so?"

She turns to him, her smile as vibrant as he's seen since they've been in Tree Hill. Nodding fervently, she explains. "He gave me these guidelines on how to recognize true love.

"And what made Lucas such an expert? As I recall, he had two failed relationships in high school."

"He claimed that, as a writer, he understood such things. In all fairness, he never claimed that he could successfully execute the concept."

"And what exactly were these guidelines?" Nathan inquires slyly. "Just for future reference."

Haley shrugs. "Oh, just a bunch of sappy things that never actually happen in real life. I'm convinced he was trying to set the standards so high that I would never find anyone at all."

"Nah," Nathan argues. "He was just setting high standards because that's what he thought you deserved. The guy adored you."

Haley gives him a tight smile, her eyes watering slightly, and nods. "He loved you too," she reminds him.

"Yeah, but only because I was a pain in his ass otherwise," Nathan remarks self-deprecatingly. "He thought you walked on water. Really, you should have heard the way he talked about you."

Nathan is about to continue when he looks down and sees the moistened streaks on Haley's cheeks. She sniffles loudly and brushes the tears away before looking up apologetically. "Sorry," she murmurs.

Shaking his head, Nathan says nothing. Instead, he tentatively reaches out to pull Haley into his arms. Her skin is incredibly smooth and his fingertips practically glide over the exposed flesh of her back and arms. Her daintiness is all the more endearing as she stands tucked beneath his chin, a perfect fit for his embrace. Her cheek rests against his heart while her hands clasp tightly around his waist. She sighs against his solid form, and she realizes that she hasn't felt this stable and protected in a very long time.

"I miss him," she whispers finally. "There are things I wish I could have said…things I should have said."

"He loved you, Haley," Nathan states firmly. "And he knew that you loved him."

They stand together in that spot for an unknown period of time before they finally continue their trek down the beach, this time walking arm-in-arm.

"So, when are you due back in California?" Nathan wonders aloud.

His tone is casual, but there's a sense of dread behind the question that's making his palms sweat.

"I don't know," Haley replies vaguely as they tread through the thick sand drifts.

"You don't know?"

"I don't know," she confirms. "I...don't miss California as much as I thought I would. But I think I'm going to miss North Carolina if I go back. And I wasn't expecting that."

"_If _you go back?"

Her eyes are fixed on her feet as she fiddles with the watch on his wrist.

"There are schools here," she points out.

"There are," he agrees neutrally.

"And Karen's here," she continues. "And you. I've looked into it. I could extend my leave of absence and look into attending school out here. Or I could just enjoy the break and go back later."

"Or you could go back in just a few weeks."

"Or that," she whispers, nodding her head. "I just don't know. Things that were so clear before just..."

"Aren't anymore?" he finishes for her.

Haley turns to face him, a grateful smile on her face. "You get it, don't you?"

"More than you know."

Reaching over, she tightens her hold on his arm and leans against him. "I don't know what to do, Nathan."

Smiling down at her, Nathan gives her a slight nudge with his elbow. "You'll figure it out, Haley James. Something will point you in the right direction. And until that happens, I'm right here."

* * *

He feels a strange sense of relief as the bell chimes overhead. It's been just a few days since he's walked through the front door of Karen's Café and he's really missed the place. He's never been the type to hang out in coffee shops or cafes. Instead, he's always been more likely to be found in a bar. There's something special about Karen's though. He feels more nostalgic within these walls than he does within the walls of his own house.

"Nathan! Good to see you!"

Nathan smiles immediately when he sees Karen approaching with a coffee pot in her hand. He accepts the one-armed hug she offers and then responds, "It's good to see you too, Karen. Looks like business is good."

"As long as that bell keeps chiming, we're doing okay."

"Is Haley around?" Nathan asks, glancing around the café.

Karen is already hurrying away to fill a customer's coffee mug, but she calls over her shoulder, "I finally forced her to go home. The girl looked like a zombie when she got here. I had to threaten to fire her to get her to leave."

Nathan chuckles, "That sounds like Haley."

Karen smiles distractedly at him and he follows her back to the counter. Once she sets down the coffee pot, she snatches a towel from the countertop and wipes off her hands.

"Nathan," she starts off hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"You and Haley have been spending a lot of time together lately, and I don't mean to pry, but…" she trails off uncertainly.

"What is it?" Nathan prods her, his tone concerned.

"I just want you to know that I'm glad you've been there for her. I mean, she seems fine on the surface, but something's just not quite right with her. She seems…burdened. She's better with you though. You've been very good to her."

Nathan is silent for a moment. "I care about Haley," he says finally, surprising even himself with his admission.

Karen glances up at him and nods. "I know you do. She's lucky to have you."

Flattered by Karen's obvious approval, Nathan smiles to himself as he turns to leave.

He's nearly to the door when he hears Karen calling after him.

"Nathan!"

"Yeah?"

"The thing about Haley is she doesn't believe she deserves the good things that come to her. It's not that she doesn't want them. It just takes her a little while to accept that she's worthy."

With a final smile and a cheerful wave, Karen is bustling through the maze of tables, and Nathan is left wondering just what the hell she could be talking about.

* * *

"Hello?"

Nathan can't help the chuckle that escapes when he hears her croaking through the phone.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kermit. I was looking for Haley James."

"Well, I think you dialed a wrong number because you're about to get an ass kicking instead," she coughs out grumpily. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to pick on the sick and elderly?"

"My mother didn't teach me much of anything," he mutters bitterly.

"Sorry, buddy. I'm not feeling good enough to attend your pity party today. Moving on!" she crows.

"Well, I was going to see if we were still on to do something tonight, but then you weren't at Karen's when I showed up."

"She sent me home," Haley pouts.

"Probably because the customers were complaining about finding your phlegm in their food," Nathan remarks dryly.

"Ewwww! That is seriously disgusting, Nathan Scott. And totally untrue!"

Nathan becomes serious as he continues. "Seriously though, if you're feeling that shitty, we can just reschedule, Hales."

"No!" she exclaims quickly. "I still want to do something. I'm going stir-crazy just sitting in this house by myself. I just need to keep it low-key."

"I could pick up a movie," Nathan offers.

"And maybe you could get take-out and bring it to my place?" she suggests hopefully.

"I could probably handle that," Nathan replies gruffly. "Although it's my choice this time. Last time you were in charge of the food there was nothing left but a half-eaten egg roll by the time it got to me.

Haley gasps indignantly, "Not true! And I happen to have excellent taste in take-out food!"

"Right," Nathan comments skeptically.

"Hey, you enjoyed that egg roll!" Haley exclaims.

"All two bites of it!" Nathan retorts. He snickers as he hears her huffing indignantly

"Whatever," Haley grumbles.

Nathan can't help the grin that appears on his face as he pictures her sitting in her bed, pouting like a four year-old child.

"I'll be by around six, okay?"

"Fine," Haley replies airily. "Whenever."

Amused, Nathan is about to hang up when he hears Haley call his name urgently.

"What?" he asks exasperatedly.

"You'd better have more than just a half-eaten egg roll when you get here."

Nathan is still laughing long after he ends the call.

* * *

Totally bogged down by takeout bags and DVDs, Nathan stares at Haley's front door for several long moments before he finally decides to forgo etiquette.

"To hell with it!" he exclaims finally. Lifting a foot, he gently kicks the door. "James!" he calls out and then awaits her response.

"It's open!" he hears her call faintly from inside.

Rolling his eyes at the logistical ridiculousness of the situation, he manages to maneuver himself in such a way that he nearly sits on the door handle and pushes it open.

"Hey!" he calls triumphantly, having managed to find a way in.

"Hey," she returns weakly from her nest on the couch. She smiles appreciatively at the sight of him. Jeans and a polo shirt never looked so good. Especially when they came with bags of delicious takeout food.

Rounding the corner into the living room, Nathan nearly lets out a laugh at the sight that welcomes him. Haley is curled up on the couch with mounds of quilts and pillows propping her in place. A box of tissue and a glass of orange juice are sitting on the coffee table, and she's currently watching two elderly women as they attempt to sell faux fur coats on the home shopping network.

"Fur coats, huh?" Nathan teases. "I never would have taken you for that type."

"They're _faux_!" she points out indignantly before giving him a sheepish smile. "Hi."

He smiles back. "Hi. Feeling better?"

She shrugs, barely removing her eyes from the television. "I guess. I'm not all snotty and disgusting anymore. Just really tired."

"Awww, James," he murmurs sympathetically. "Well, I've got food. I went with Greek. And _Double Indemnity._"

Her dark eyes light up as she nods approvingly. "Oooh, good job! Noir is an excellent way to make a girl feel better."

Nathan shrugs nonchalantly. "And I enjoy a good femme fatale. Everybody wins."

"Who would have thought you'd be able to play nice?"

"Not many," Nathan teases as he takes the bags into the kitchen.

"So have you thought anymore about what you're going to do about school?" Nathan asks as he takes the Styrofoam containers out of the bags. Searching through a few cabinets, he quickly locates two plates and begins heaping food on each.

"Not yet," Haley calls back. "Hey, make sure I get extra Tzatziki sauce!"

"Got it!" Nathan calls. "Although you're awfully bold to be making those kinds of demands. For all you know, you're not getting anything but a few leftover beets from my salad."

"You can keep your beets. I'd rather starve."

"Even when she's sick, she's got a comeback for everything," Nathan grumbles under his breath as he brings the plates into the living room.

"I heard that!" Haley protests.

"Well, good. At least the illness hasn't damaged your hearing," he deadpans.

Haley opens her mouth to argue, but the chime of the doorbell interrupts her response.

"Hold that thought," she orders as she gets up to answer the door.

Nathan follows her with his gaze as she leaves the room, and he can't help the small grin that appears on his face as he sees her in a pair of yoga pants and a Stanford t-shirt.

Nathan is already digging into his Greek salad, and is seriously considering placing all of his beets on Haley's plate, when he hears Haley's shocked gasp.

"Haley?" Nathan calls out, rounding the corner from the living room into the entryway. "What the hell?"

Haley is ignoring him completely, a look of total panic on her face, as she holds the front door wide open.

Nathan is confused when Haley doesn't immediately respond, so he peers over her shoulder to see what has her in such a state of panic. His confusion only increases at the sight in front of him.

A young man, probably in his late twenties, is standing on the other side of the door. With dark hair, dark eyes, and a medium build, Nathan guesses he's probably what most women would consider to be good-looking. Nothing to write home about, but definitely handsome in an all-American kind of way.

"What are you doing here?" Haley asks tightly, her hand gripping the doorknob with a white-knuckled hold.

Nathan feels a pang when he hears the cold tone of her voice--something he's never heard from her before.

The man looks surprised and starts to step forward. "What do you _mean_ what am I doing here? I've been worried sick for the past two months! Haley, I needed to see you. I've been trying to get in touch with you and--"

"I have my cell," Haley points out in a clipped voice.

"Which you haven't been answering," the man points out. "I've tried."

"And you didn't take that as a hint?"

The man shakes his head helplessly and takes another step closer, something that causes Nathan to step up and square himself behind Haley. The stranger eyes Nathan questioningly before fixing his attention back on Haley.

"Look, Haley," he starts. "The things I have to say aren't exactly things I wanted to say over the phone. So I waited and kept stopping by your place until finally a total stranger answered the door and told me that she was subletting your apartment. Don't you think it would have been nice for you to let me know that you were moving across the country?"

"I had some things to deal with. Besides, I wasn't really under the impression that you cared. It certainly didn't seem that way the last time we spoke," Haley remarks coldly. This comment obviously hits home because Nathan can see the man cringing inwardly.

"I heard about Lucas," the man remarks quietly.

Nathan immediately stiffens upon hearing his brother's name.

"And why would you even care, Matthew?" Haley demands to know. "I mean, you spent so much time trying to keep me away from him!"

"That was never my intention."

"Bullshit!" Haley exclaims. "You wanted to control me! You wanted to separate me from all of my closest friends and family so you could turn me into the perfect little ornament for your arm."

"Well, you weren't exactly complaining!" Matthew points out angrily.

"You're right," Haley answers calmly. "You're right. Because I thought I was in love and I was under the impression that people who love each other make sacrifices for each other. It just took me awhile to realize that I was the only one making sacrifices. You, on the other hand, are apparently the master of having your cake and eating it too."

"So what? You come back to Hicksville, North Carolina and use your degree to wait tables?" Matthew challenges disbelievingly. "Classy, Haley." He gestures towards Nathan, "And is your bodyguard here really making sacrifices? Or did you give it up as easily for him as you did for me?"

Nathan waits for a moment, ready to see Haley strike with the sharp and witty barb he knows her to possess. He's shocked when he sees her shrink back and stammer insecurely, her eyes suddenly on the ground in what appears to be shame.

"Matthew, I just needed to get out of there…When I saw you…I couldn't… "

"You were being a selfish bitch. No big surprise there. You never wanted to go anywhere with me. You were always whining about Brooke or Peyton or Lucas. And then fucking Lucas shows up like he's your knight in shining armor! God only knows why! All you seem to do is screw up the lives of the people around you. Why should mine be any different?"

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing I'm not your problem anymore then, isn't it?" Haley replies sadly.

Matthew pauses and something like remorse flickers over his features. "I guess so," he spits out bitterly. "I don't know how many times I had to explain your absence to people at important social functions. You should be using these events to network and instead you're off gallivanting across the south with a bunch of illiterate morons."

"Is this what you came all the way out here to do?" Haley asks shakily. "Make fun of me? Insult me?"

Her breath hitches then and the sound of it causes Nathan to stand at attention. One more word from this guy and…

"Of course not!" Matthew insists. "But then I didn't think I would come back to find you waiting tables and shacking up with some small-town beefcake. God, Haley, you could have been something. You had so much potential. Now look at you." Matthew shakes his head as he looks Haley up and down. "Is this who you want to be? Just another piece of trash? What a…"

Before Matthew can finish, Nathan lunges forward, grabbing Matthew by the lapels of his expensive jacket. "Don't you _ever_ speak about her like that again!" Nathan roars furiously. "You don't know the first thing about her and what she's been through! If you were too fucking stupid to see what you had right in front of you, then I don't know what the hell you're doing here. Sounds to me like you're bitter over losing the the best thing that ever happened to you, but you did and now it's time to move on. So why don't you just hop right back into your rental car, head back to the airport, and get the hell away from her!"

Rearing back, Nathan balls his fist and winds up when he feels Haley tugging on his arm.

"Nathan!" Haley shrieks. "Nathan, stop!"

Caught off guard, Nathan turns to see Haley's stricken face. The fear and pleading in her eyes are enough to prompt him to release Matthew, who has been scrambling to free himself of Nathan's grasp.

They both watch as Matthew hurries down the front steps and across the front lawn, straightening his clothes as he goes. He glares back the two of them as he stumbles away.

"Biggest mistake of your life, Haley! Hope your boyfriend has some connections for lawyers here in Hicksville because I'll be damned if you find a job with any law firm in the Bay Area!" Climbing into the luxury sedan, he finally pulls away from the curb and makes a rather quiet exit.

Nathan remains on the porch until long after Matthew has driven away, his chest still heaving from both the physical exertion and the emotional intensity of the incident. By the time he turns around to check on Haley, she's gone.

* * *

She opens her bedroom door just as he's raising his hand to knock for a fifth time.

Surprised but pleased by her sudden appearance, Nathan scrambles up from where he's been slouched for the past two hours. Her bedroom door had been locked when he'd come upstairs to check on her, but he could hear her sobs from the hallway. Instead of leaving her alone, Nathan had opted to talk to her through the door and then knock at periodic intervals, hoping she'd finally let him in.

Rather than letting it swing wide open in welcoming fashion, she grips the doorknob firmly and leaves just enough space for her petite frame. She's still in her black yoga pants and Stanford t-shirt, but her ponytail is lopsided and her face is puffy. When she finally raises her eyes to his, he's taken aback by their size, their shine, and the hint of shame that lurks somewhere in their depths.

They stand for several moments, the only noise coming from the coarse ticking of the obnoxious cuckoo clock in the hallway. Finally, Nathan throws his hands in the air.

"You want to tell me what the hell that was all about?!" he bursts out.

Haley leans against the doorframe and chews on her bottom lip. She shrugs one shoulder. "Not really," she answers honestly.

"Okay, let me rephrase," Nathan starts again. "Who the hell _was _that guy?"

A look of total horror flashes across Haley's face and, before he knows it, she's left the doorway and is now pacing the floor of her bedroom.

"Haley!" he shouts. "Hales!"

He closes the bedroom door behind him, although he's not sure why since there's no one else home. When he looks back up, he sees her standing next to the window, her eyes fixed on the starry night sky.

"James? What was that about? Who was that guy?"

"That was my boyfriend?"

"Wait…your what?"

"Matthew. My boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend."

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"So you're telling me that after all of the time we've spent together over the past couple of months, you never found it relevant or necessary to mention your boyfriend?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Haley…"

"I said I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, that's too damn bad!" Nathan rages suddenly. "I think we've figured out that 'not talking about it' really doesn't work for us!"

Haley looks up, startled by his angry tone.

"You don't get to do that, Haley. After all of the time we've spent together, you don't get to brush this off like it's no big deal. There's a reason you didn't tell me about him and I want to know what it is."

"I didn't think there was anything to tell, alright?!" Haley explodes. "When I left we were…" she laughs bitterly. "We were _not _on the best of terms. I didn't even know if I'd ever seen him again."

"So he's your ex," Nathan surmises.

Haley looks uncomfortable and begins wringing her hands anxiously as she responds. "It's complicated."

"It's really not, Haley! He's either your boyfriend or your ex-boyfriend. Either label will do."

Worried, Haley begins pacing back and forth across the room again. Nathan watches her for several minutes before he finally intercepts her and pulls her down to sit next to him on the bed.

"Talk to me," he says softly. "Please."

He feels an ache in his heart when she turns to face him, her eyes shining with tears. "I didn't say anything because I was hurt and embarrassed. Matthew isn't the nicest guy. It just took me a long time to figure that out. He's lawyer and he's good at what he does. He incredibly charming, very manipulative, and apparently not very big on monogamy."

Nathan's eyes widen slightly and his jaw drops. "No! Haley…"

Haley shrugs. "Yeah," she murmurs sorrowfully. "And I guess…I guess I just don't know why I wasn't enough." A sob finally breaks loose and she feels Nathan pull her closer. "I don't know why I'm never enough! What am I doing wrong?! Is there a piece of me missing or broken? Everyone is always running from me!" Sobs continue to wrench her small body, and before long she's gasping for nearly every breath.

"What?" Nathan echoes in shock. "Haley, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you."

He pulls her even closer, his hands roaming all over her back as he attempts to recreate the comforting patterns his mother used to rub on his own back when he was small.

His voice drops significantly as he continues to hold her. "You're perfect, Haley James." he whispers. "Absolutely perfect." Her shoulders shake with the force of her cries, and Nathan can feel her tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt.

Pain is nothing new to Nathan Scott. Aside from the obvious of his injuries from the car accident, he's experienced injuries related to basketball, the typical aches and pains resulting from 'boys will be boys' behavior, and the devastating pain of constant disapproval from his father. But Nathan swears that none of that has ever compared to the pain he feels while holding Haley as she suffers so tremendously.

Haley James is different alright. And Nathan think's he's starting to understand why.

* * *

It takes more than an hour for Haley to start to calm down. She's curled up in his lap, her cheek resting against the shoulder of his polo shirt. Her breaths still hitch sharply every few minutes, but he's pretty certain that she's actually run out of tears. He's also pretty certain that his heart is a tiny bit broken at having seen her in such a state of despair. He's surprised at how easily he falls into the role of protector as he strokes her back gently and murmurs soft words of comfort into her ear.

"You're okay, James. You're gonna be okay." he assures her. "You're something else, you know? You keep your boyfriend a secret and yet I'm the one sitting here trying to comfort you."

He feels her shake slightly as she lets out a hoarse giggle, and he smiles. It's a start.

Another twenty minutes pass and Nathan is convinced that Haley has fallen asleep. He continues stroking her hair and her back in the same soothing patterns, taking pleasure in the feel of her relaxed so completely in his arms.

"You really don't have any idea how amazing you are, do you?" he whispers near her ear. "You don't see how stunning you are when you look in the mirror every day. You probably don't even notice the way people smile at the very sight of you. And you probably really believe that I actually go to Karen's just for the food, don't you?"

Chuckling to himself, Nathan presses a soft kiss into Haley's hair and then turns to lay her on the bed. Gently, he pulls the covers back and moves to tuck the sheets around her small frame. He's surprised when he looks up to see her dark eyes wide open and shimmering in the darkness. She's watching him with an expression of deep thought. Then she bites her lip as though she's pondering her next move.

Giving her a reassuring smile, Nathan reaches down to brush his fingertips over the softness of her cheek. He looks up, however, when he feels her small hand wrap around his. She holds his hand against her cheek and heaves a small sigh of contentment. Then she leans up, her arms stretched out, and she wraps her arms around his neck. Frozen in the moment, Nathan allows her to pull him down with her until he's resting on the edge of the bed, the length of his body parallel with hers.

She tugs his head down to hers and then her lips are pressing against his. She feels soft beneath him and he pulls back for a moment to see that her eyes are wide and searching as her fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Please, Nathan," she begs. "I want you."

"God, Haley," he hisses. "You're so amazing."

"You see me," she whispers urgently. "You understand the way nobody else does."

He nods. He knows what she means. There's a sense of kindred between the two of them. He feels connected to her in a way that he can't explain. "I know," he says breathlessly. "I know."

She sits up then and he's confused. But then he sees her hands go to the hem of her t-shirt and his mouth goes completely dry. He watches as the soft fabric inches up to reveal the golden silk of her long and tapered back. She tugs the shirt over her head and the gently pulls her hair free of her ponytail, so her thick golden locks fall temptingly against her skin. She falls back against her pillow, and damn if she doesn't look like a dream. Choked up, Nathan just stares for several moments. Her beauty has always been undeniable, but the sight of her bared for him to see…the soft curve of her hip, the perfect roundness of her breasts, and the elegance of her throat…each part begs to be touched and kissed and worshipped. He traces his fingertips delicately down her arm and then presses soft kisses to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder.

"You're beautiful, Haley. So unbelievably beautiful."

She blushes prettily then, and he feels himself stiffen as she squirms impatiently.

"Nathan," she whimpers. "Please…"

And then he recognizes it. It's subtle, thin and well-veiled, but it's there.

Desperation.

As much as he wants this, wants her. He doesn't want desperation to be any part of the equation when it comes to the two of them.

Taking one last look at the vision she presents--doe-eyed and undone, he shakes his head.

"I…Haley, I…I can't do this. Not like this. You're upset and…"

Her eyes widen further and then she looks crestfallen. Sitting up, she quickly clutches the comforter to her chest and nods in understanding.

"I get it. You're not attracted to me like that. We're friends. Friends don't do this kind of thing. Especially if they're not…"

Nathan feels like screaming out his frustration. "No, Haley, you don't get it. But if you would just stop rambling long enough to hear me out, I might be able to explain."

"Explain _what_?!" she exclaims, obviously embarrassed by the whole situation.

"You're not that girl," he says simply.

"What do you _mean_ I'm not that girl? Huh, Nathan? What does that mean? Could you clear that up for me? Because for as long as I can remember, I haven't been _that _girl. Well, maybe I want to be that girl. Maybe just once I want to want someone and have them want me back just as much!"

Nathan is shaking his head, a small smile on his face.

"What?!" Haley barks sharply.

"You still don't get it," Nathan mutters.

"Then explain it to me!" she cries.

"You're not that girl and you're never going to be that girl. You're not some hook-up. You're not the girl that a guy takes home for a meaningless fuck and run."

Haley watches him tearfully, unsure of the direction he's going. "Then what girl am I?" she whispers fragilely.

Nathan's smiles tenderly, "You're the girl that makes a guy realize that all of the hook-ups and all of the one night stands in the world are never going to come even close to rivaling the experience of waking up with you every day."

Haley sniffles softly and her eyes flood once again. He watches as she retrieves her shirt from the foot of the bed and pulls it back over her head. "You can go," she whispers sadly.

Seating himself on the bed next to her, he wraps an arm around her and pulls her close. "No," he answers softly, amused that she still doesn't get it. "I can't. And I won't."

It takes another good forty-five minutes for her sobs and sniffles to turn into the cadenced breathing of someone who's sleeping soundly. Nathan continues to draw his fingertips soothingly over her head and he lets out a relaxed sigh when he breathes in the scent of her lavender shampoo. His arm is asleep and his shoulder is aching beneath the weight of her slight form, but he'd wouldn't dream of shifting even a fraction of an inch.

Finally, he joins her in sleep.

* * *

He stirs slightly at the unmistakable rumble and groan of the garbage truck. He's surprised when he wakes up and doesn't feel Haley's weight pressed against him, but he smiles when he looks down and realizes that she's covered him with the comforter.

He takes the stairs two at a time and smiles when he smells freshly brewed coffee and hears her talking quietly to someone on the phone. Her back is to him and her hair is in soft waves down her back. She's in pretty halter dress which exposes her upper back, and Nathan can't help but let his mind wander back to the sight of her bare back from the night before. He still can't come up with an appropriate adjective to describe the image of a topless Haley.

"Yes, that's perfect. Thank you. Yes, I'll see you then. Thanks again. Bye." She hangs up the phone and jumps when she turns to see Nathan standing in the doorway.

"Hey," he greets her sweetly as he enters the kitchen.

"Hey," she returns his greeting with an awkward smile that doesn't quite meet her eyes. "Coffee?" she offers.

"Sure," he agrees. He's about to inquire about her plans for the day when he sees two large rolling suitcases perched against the wall. "What are those?"

Haley glances up from where she's pouring his cup of coffee. "The bags I packed," she answers, biting her lip and avoiding his gaze.

"Packed?" he repeats. "For what?"

She whirls around to face him.

"For school, Nathan. I have to go back."

Nathan's face falls and his shoulders slump. "Already? But yesterday you said you didn't know what your plans were."

"Well, we knew I wouldn't stay forever. This was just temporary. Until Karen was back on her feet." Haley speaks firmly, as though she's trying to convince herself.

Nathan shakes his head as he tries to process the information. "But we're just..."

"We're just what?" she challenges.

Nathan looks her directly in the eye and he sees her soften just the tiniest bit.

"I thought we were on the verge of something," he explains.

Her face hardens once more. "Like sex?"

Nathan is startled by her terse tone. "No," he replies calmly. "I thought we were making some headway with…us."

"We're friends, Nathan. That's it. There's no headway to be made. I thought we'd established that."

"And I thought when you were practically begging me to sleep with you last night that maybe things had changed."

"I wanted to do something crazy. And you fit the bill. You weren't interested. Case closed."

Nathan shakes his head angrily. "Don't you dare," he growls.

"Dare what?" Haley echoes innocently.

"Don't you try to cheapen this or turn it into some kind of joke."

"Who are we kidding, Nathan?" Haley asks. "We _are _a joke. I mean, look at us! You're a professional basketball player who spends all of his time hanging around a small-town café. And I actually considered giving up on Stanford Law. We're two successful adults who are using each other to hide from our real lives. If that's not a joke, I don't know what is."

"Why are you doing this, Haley?"

"Doing what?!" she snaps angrily.

"Running!" Nathan explodes. "Look at you! You're terrified! But why? What are you so scared of?!"

"_I'm_ going back to my life, Nathan! I'm going back to reality because I realize that I can't remain in this little fantasyland forever. You were a professional basketball player, Nathan. You're no longer injured and yet you're still here! Why is that? Huh? There's nothing here for us!"

The anger is suddenly wiped from Nathan's face and he stands quietly, just watching Haley with a look of sadness. His sudden air of calmness is overwhelming and actually causes Haley to falter slightly.

"You're right," he says softly. "I guess there's nothing here for me."

With one final look of longing and regret, Nathan steps forward and presses a kiss into Haley's freshly washed hair. Then without a single look back, he turns and leaves.

It's not until she hears the final click of the front door that she slumps to floor and allows herself to sob messily into her hands.

* * *

The airport is relatively quiet as Haley locates her gate and finds a secluded spot to wait for her boarding call. Glancing at her watch, she realizes that she probably has a good forty-five minute wait ahead of her, so she pulls out her cell phone. She stares at her contacts list for what seems like a very long time before she finally scrolls to a very familiar name.

She hears laughter on the other end of the line when it's finally picked up.

"Okay, Tutor-Girl, you are _so _dropped! What were you thinking going radio-silent for the past two months?"

Haley can't help but smile at Brooke's over-the-top greeting.

"Okay, Brooke, first of all? You're watching _way _too much Alias. Lay off the reruns. And secondly? It's been a _very _busy two months."

"I don't know, Haley," Peyton cuts in. "I'm with Brooke on this one--shocking as that may seem. We've hardly heard from you. And when we did hear from you, it was "Hey guys, I'm busy, gotta go, love you!"

"That pretty much summed things up," Haley defends. "And what are you doing there, Peyton?"

"Worrying about you!"

"She came for the weekend," Brooke cuts in. "But we've pretty much just been talking about you. I've gotta tell you, we've developed some pretty fascinating theories."

"Like?" Haley wonders, knowing she'll probably regret asking.

"Like you're having an affair with an international con-man and the two of you are planning to change your identity and go on the run!" Brooke describes animatedly.

"Or," Peyton cuts in. "You've decided to become a professional wrestler and you wanted to surprise us by showing up on TV in a hot pink and purple, spandex outfit!"

"Or," Brooke adds, "and this is just us going out on a limb. Maybe something is going on between you and Nathan Scott."

"What?!" Haley says sharply. "Why…I mean, why would you…"

Peyton comes back on the line. "Come on, Haley. Don't play dumb."

"Where would you get that idea?" Haley questions weakly, failing her attempt at a casual tone.

"Haley, Jake is still in touch with Skills," Brooke explains. "And apparently Nathan has been a total ass for the past couple of weeks. Skills mentioned that it had something to do with you. Have you been holding out on us, Tutor Girl? What happened between you two?"

"I wish I knew," she answers vaguely.

"Well, where are you now? Do you want us to come down there?"

"Yeah!" Peyton calls in the background. "I'll come down and kick his ass!"

Haley lets out a small chuckle in spite of the tears that are forming yet again. "I'm at the airport. Look, I've got to go now, but I promise I'll call you guys later."

"You'd better," Brooke commands firmly.

Once Haley ends the call, she breaks down; this time for an entirely different reason.

The truth is, Haley knows exactly what happened, and it's an absolute disaster.

She's fallen in love with Nathan Scott.

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated!**


	5. The Choice

**A/N: **Once again I must apologize for the huge delay in updating. My computer decided (once again) to crash and I lost everything stored on it. Luckily I had backed-up most everything on my hard drive, but it was all saved in the format of the program I lost upon fixing my computer. All in all, it was a big mess. Thankfully I've managed to restore most everything and I am nearly done with the next chapter (my goal is to get it posted by next weekend) so your next wait shouldn't be nearly as long. There's just one more part after this and then a shorter epilogue...it's nearly over. Thank you so much for reading and thanks to those who have reviewed. I really enjoy reading your thoughts.

**Part 5--The Choice**

_**Eight Months Later**_

The honeyed scent of spring is heavy in the air as the sprinklers send a fine spray of water over the large expanse of lush green grass. The wide sidewalk winds wildly through the scenery of the large public park, and small children can be heard laughing from the several playgrounds scattered around the extensive grounds. The sun is warm, but not overwhelmingly so, as it shines overhead, and the blue sky is filled with fat, cottony clouds. All in all, the day looks like one you'd find in a first-grade drawing posted on the refrigerator: idyllic and familiar.

There are things he misses about Tree Hill, but then when he thinks about it, he usually realizes that the things he misses are merely representations of the people and things he misses even more. He misses the river court because of Lucas, Karen's Cafe because of Haley, and the beach because it's always been a haven from the chaos of his home life. The move to Charlotte had been a rash decision; Nathan can admit this now. After Haley had left Tree Hill to return to Palo Alto, he'd been frustrated and bitter. For a brief period of time, he'd returned to the old habits he'd known so well, but it hadn't taken long for him to realize that one-night stands and expensive liquor were no longer as numbing as they'd once been. Finally, Karen had given him a good dose of reality when she'd told him that he was floundering and that the time had come to make a choice about his life. That night, he'd received a phone call from his Uncle Keith--the first since Lucas's death. Keith had attended the funeral, but only briefly. Nathan hadn't even had a chance to speak with him. Nathan and Keith had never been particularly close, but Nathan had certainly heard about Keith's successes from Lucas. Over the years, Keith Scott had managed to turn his tiny little auto shop into something of an auto-repair dynasty. With a lot of hard work and just a bit of luck, Keith's single shop had grown into more than forty locations in more than five states. As luck would have it, Keith had been looking for someone to head up operations at the main office so he would be free to travel and oversee the various stores.

_"You've got a degree in business and a good head on your shoulders," Keith had said to him over the phone. "Lucas always told me so. Plus, you're family. Who can you trust if you can't trust your family."_

So less than a month after Haley's departure, Nathan had been headed to Charlotte. Three months after that, he had traded his luxury condo for a home in one of Charlotte's nicest neighborhoods. Now, five months later, here he is...jogging through the park with Jake Jagielski, who has decided to come down and visit for a few days.

"So, how's Charlotte treating you?" Jake inquires conversationally.

"Can't complain I guess," Nathan responds hollowly. Lifting a hand, he swipes at the sweat on his forehead. "It's definitely a change from Tree Hill."

"And Phoenix," Jake adds.

"Yeah," Nathan agrees. "That too."

"So you're really done with the NBA?" Jake questions.

Nathan nods. "Yeah, man. The doctors have all agreed--my knee is never going to heal completely. I'd be a ticking time bomb on the court."

"And working with Keith? That's good?"

Nathan shortens his stride slightly. "Yep."

"Good for you, man. I'm glad to hear it. So now that we've gotten the small talk out of the way, maybe you can answer one question for me."

"What's that?"

"How are you _really _doing?" Jake pants as they slow to a leisurely jog through the park.

"What are you talking about?" Nathan responds. "I'm fine."

Jake rolls his eyes, "Yeah, right."

"I don't know what you're talking about, man."

"Whatever you say, Nate. All I know is you've been walking around with a blank stare on your face since I came to town. You don't seem to enjoy anything. And forget carrying on a conversation. Talking to you is about as stimulating as talking to a brick wall. You're all vague and monosyllabic. Plus, Keith says you've been this way for the past few months. Shit, playing basketball with you yesterday was like playing with an angry old man."

"I just have a lot going on," Nathan mutters vaguely.

"Oh," Jake says understandingly. "Like your job. Oh wait...you supposedly enjoy that. So it must be a problem with money...but no, you've got plenty of that. Okay, so if it's not work and it's not money, you must be sick. But you've been right here kicking my ass on the court for the past two days, so that can't be it. How about you clue me in, man. Because I can't figure out for the life of me what could be so wrong in your life. Unless," Jake acts as though he's suddenly been struck with a revelation, "you miss your girl!"

"I don't have a girl," Nathan replies sullenly.

"Don't give me that," Jake argues. "I heard all about your fling with Haley. Peyton and Brooke couldn't shut up about it."

Nathan shakes his head in irritation. "We were just friends."

"Okay, so pining over a girl for eight months is just 'friend' behavior?" Jake questions skeptically.

"I'm not pining," Nathan argues. "There's nothing to pine over."

"You're full of shit. Come on, man! You took her on dates, you were spending full days at the cafe, and you moved to another city when she left."

"How did you know all of that?" Nathan inquires suspiciously just before squirting some water into his mouth.

Jake hurries forward to keep pace with Nathan. "Have you _met _Brooke Davis?"

Nathan nods in understanding and takes another drink before turning towards Jake. "Brooke doesn't know what she's talking about. Haley and I tried the friendship thing. It's not my fault she's buried in issues. You've got concerns about my relationship with Haley, you go talk to her."

"So there _is _a relationship!" Jake exclaims.

"There's _no _relationship," Nathan mutters bitterly. "She made that abundantly clear the day she took off."

"Which upset you," Jake surmises.

Nathan shrugs his shoulders. "Whatever. If that's what makes her happy, more power to her. I just don't have the time or energy to play her games."

Jake eyes Nathan closely and then snickers. "Yeah, right."

Irritated now, Nathan turns to Jake and rolls his eyes. "What the hell, man? What do you want from me? Haley and I were friends. I thought we might have something going, but she was more interested in going back to school than in me. I'm over it. I just don't get why you and Brooke and Peyton keep rubbing my face in it! It's not like we ever could have been anything long-term anyway. Girls like Haley don't end up with guys like me."

"What?" Jake echoes skeptically. "Girls like Haley don't end up with guys who are ass-backwards in love with them?"

"So now I'm in love with her?"

"Looks like it from where I'm standing."

Nathan guffaws and shakes his head, "Do you know who Haley is?"

"A super-smart, super-beautiful, super-sweet girl who, for some inexplicable reason, has decided to like you despite your many and varied flaws?"

"Decided to _leave _me," Nathan corrects. "Besides, she was Lucas' best friend."

"And?"

"And it seems a bit weird to think about a relationship with my dead brother's best friend."

"Why?"

"Because," Nathan sputters. "She's his! He thought the world of her. And she thought it of him!"

Jake looks baffled. "So what's wrong with falling for someone your brother loved? It's not like she was his girlfriend! And even if she had been, I bet he would approve."

"Doubtful," Nathan responds. "Lucas never thought anyone was worthy of Haley. And I'm starting to think he was right."

"Why?"

"Because!" Nathan erupts. "You've met her. She's fucking perfect! She's just so...good. Good in an incredibly overwhelming and intimidating way. And then she's brilliant. She's in law school--I barely graduated from college. And I probably wouldn't have done that if not for basketball."

Jake frowns. "I thought Lucas mentioned Haley to you when...you know."

"He did," Nathan nods. "He told me that he was worried about her and then he told me about the kind of guy she deserved. Right before we were smashed by a drunk driver. Not exactly my favorite memory."

"And you don't think that the fact that he confided in you about her means anything?" Jake wonders.

Nathan shrugs. "Not really. I was his brother. I just figured he was venting and he knew I was a captive audience."

"It's possible," Jake admits. "But it's also possible that he saw you as the kind of guy he thought Haley deserved. Maybe he was trying to plant the idea in your head."

"I just don't know how I was so stupid in high school," Nathan mutters tiredly. "I mean, how could I have looked right at her and not seen her? How could I have missed it?"

"Missed what?"

Nathan throws up his arms. "Everything! The color of her eyes, her sense of humor, the way her nose scrunches when she smiles, the fact that she's so goddamn kind..." Nathan stops suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk forcing several other joggers and cyclists to veer around him before Jake gives him a shove out of the path of oncoming foot and bike traffic. "Shit!" Nathan hisses under his breath.

"What now?" Jake probes.

"I'm in love with her," Nathan announces suddenly, his eyes widening with the realization. "I'm in love with her and I just let her go. I didn't even go after her. I let her go off and I didn't call or write for eight months and now she's probably met some other douchebag who's going to treat her like shit, but she'll fall for him anyway because..."

"Nathan!" interrupts Jake in an attempt to end Nathan's rambling.

"You're selling yourself short, man. You've changed a lot since high school. You're a good guy, Nate."

"Not good enough. Why would someone like that want to be with someone like me? She's funny and witty and unbelievably beautiful--I practically swallowed my fucking tongue the day I first saw her at the Cafe. Why would she want me? I'm just a guy who was an ass to her in high school."

"Dude, you were an ass to everyone in high school."

"Thanks, Jake. That helps." Nathan mutters dryly.

"Just being honest," shrugs Jake. "Besides, shouldn't it be her choice? I mean, I personally don't see the appeal, but from what I understand there are some girls who are totally into that 'retired NBA player' thing you've got going."

"What do I do now, man?" Nathan asks worriedly. "I mean, it's been eight months. What if it's too late?"

"You'll figure it out, man," Jake assures him. "Now let's get back to our run. We're never going to get back at this rate."

Nodding, Nathan follows Jake back onto the running path and they both pick up speed as they weave through the other walkers and joggers.

As they run, Jake smiles triumphantly. Peyton will be pleased with his handiwork.

*******

"You wanted to see me, Professor Rosen?" Haley inquires hesitantly as she loiters in the doorway of the small but elegant office.

"Haley, come in."

Haley offers a pinched smile to the regal women who is currently sitting behind the large mahogany desk.

"You must know why I've asked you to stop by," Leila Rosen remarks openly. She forces herself to shrug off the wave of maternal worry that washes over her as she appraises her young student. Haley James has been a favorite of hers ever since she'd shown up in her Constitutional Law course during the fall of her first year. A specialist in the area of family law, Leila had been less than thrilled over being forced to teach a bunch of first-year law students. There'd been a snafu with an incoming member of the faculty, and she'd essentially drawn the short straw. Still, when Haley James had walked into her class, she'd seen a lot of herself in the studious young woman. Haley had possessed a genuine wish to help others...something that is a bit of a rarity in a generation that sees law school as the fast track to big office and a bigger paycheck.

Avoiding the studious gaze of her mentor, Haley shrugs uncomfortably, "I know I haven't exactly been myself, Professor Rosen. It's just that..."

"That's an understatement, Haley. You went from being one of the top students in your class to being a passive observer in the back of the lecture hall."

"Have my grades fallen?" Haley asks concernedly.

"That's not the point," Professor Rosen comments. "I thought you were set on pursuing family law."

"I am," Haley insists.

"And when I recommended you for the Children and Family Advocacy Fellowship, I promised my colleagues that you would knock their socks off. So far they don't even know who you are."

Haley flushes at this news. She's used to being known by her instructors. It's something that's been true for as long as she's been in school. She can remember her kindergarten teacher pulling her parents aside and wondering whether or not they were interested in allowing their daughter to skip a grade. In the eighth grade, she'd been sent over to Tree Hill High School so she could take math and English classes at a higher level. And then there was the tutoring she'd done in high school. She'd been a stand-out student for her entire life, so it was disheartening to hear that her professors were less than impressed with her work.

Her eyes on her lap, Haley looks back up. "I'm sorry, Professor Rosen. I never wanted to let you down. I promise I'll work hard to make you proud."

Professor Rosen removes her glasses and offers Haley a soft smile. "I am proud of you, Haley. I'm just a bit worried. I've known you pretty well for two years now, and this isn't like you. Is everything okay?"

Haley pauses for a moment as she considers her response. "It's been a very difficult year," she finally replies. "I've...lost some people who were close to me."

"Which would explain your leave of absence last spring," Professor Rosen surmises.

Haley nods.

Professor Rosen leans forward, resting her chin on her steepled hands. "You're one of the brightest students I've ever taught. If you want this, you can't let anything get in your way. If you don't want it, well...that's okay. But you need to decide what it is that you do want."

"I want this," Haley answers firmly.

Professor Rosen is silent for a moment. She nods. "Good. Now prove it."

********

After leaving Professor Rosen's office, Haley is near tears. The past eight months have been nothing short of a long and drawn-out nightmare, and she wishes she would just wake up already.

Despite the fact that she's always loved school, it's become a nightmare for her ever since she arrived back in California. As Professor Rosen had so obviously suggested, she's been a passive observer in her classes. Whereas she's always been the articulate and tenacious start student, she's become the wallflower who merely gets the job done. When she's not in class or working at one of the local law firms, she generally finds herself in the library or moping in her apartment. Haley has never been a big partyer and most law students have long since passed the phase of keg stands and beer pong. Still, she'd spent much of her free time during her first year at dinner parties in San Francisco or wine tastings in Napa. She's received countless invitations to similar events this year, but after more than a dozen refusals, the invitations have stopped coming, and most of her Friday nights consist of textbooks and Lifetime movies.

Haley had known that life would never be the same after Lucas's death. Nobody loses their best friend and then continues on as if nothing has happened...and those are the people who have been loyal and devoted to one another. Haley can't even make that claim. Instead, Haley is living with the knowledge that her last words to her best friend were ones of anger and vengeance. Still, she never expected that her life would become something she would have to endure each and every day. She's always been a glass-half-full type of girl--someone who is always able to recognize the positive in a given situation. Over the past eight months, she has found herself wondering what the point is. She no longer enjoys the day-to-day experiences that have always kept her smiling. She no longer takes pride in her own appearance or her own accomplishments. Now her main goal in life is to simply make it through to the end of the day.

She's still convinced that her decision to leave Tree Hill was for the best. Nathan had been absolutely right on that fateful day--they _had _been on the verge of something. But Haley knows from experience that the "something" they'd been steadily approaching could only end in disaster. Her relationships have been few and far between, but the ones she's had have always resulted in catastrophe. After the fallout of her most recent relationship, she'd quickly vowed that she would never repeat her mistakes again. Besides, she realizes, it's not as though Nathan cares. He hasn't made any effort to contact her in the past eight months, so she figures he's probably long since moved on. Even after everything, she's not foolish enough to think that she's special enough to have changed Nathan Scott's ways.

Yes, leaving Tree Hill was for the best.

********

The morning sun is shining brightly through the large window, its rays sending a splash of light over the surface of Nathan's desk. Squinting slightly, he takes a sip of coffee from his mug and then glances down at the stack of paperwork in front of him. Monday mornings are always a killer, but today is going to be especially brutal. On top of his normal workload, he's got quarterly reports to finish and he's just not sure how he's going to manage. He enjoys his job...at least as much as he thinks most people enjoy their jobs. It's certainly not basketball, but he's making a decent living. Besides, the busy nature of his work helps to keep his mind of other...less productive pursuits. Haley is gone. Regardless of how much he wishes things could be different, they're not. She's in California, he's in North Carolina, and she's made it quite clear that she doesn't have any interest in him.

But goddamn she's beautiful. And funny...and cute...and...well, shit. Focus, he thinks to himself. Focus!

He's deep in forced concentration and reading over an earnings summary for one of their stores in Raleigh when he hears his door creak open.

"Morning, Nate."

Nathan looks up and smiles halfheartedly at his uncle. "Morning, Uncle Keith."

Keith frowns. "Everything okay?"

Nodding, Nathan replies, "Everything's great. Just a lot of work to be done."

Keith watches him closely and then smiles skeptically. "You know, Nathan, I think you could sell just about anything to just about anyone, but you're not selling that story to me."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Nathan starts to protest.

"You've done a great job here, Nathan. You've been working hard and you've really helped this company to grow. You know, when I realized I was going to need a second-in-command, I immediately thought of you. No one ever believed in me--in my business. Hell, I never thought I would ever be in this position. I always thought I'd be working too hard for not enough money at some hole-in-the-wall auto shop for the rest of my life."

"Well, you certainly proved Dan wrong," Nathan mutters with a halfhearted smile.

Keith chuckles. "Yeah. But you know what?"

Nathan looks at him questioningly.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"What are you talking about?" Nathan questions. "You're successful, Uncle Keith. You could sell this company today and never have to work another day in your life."

"But who am I going home to?" Keith asks pointedly.

Nathan sags a little when he realizes where Keith is going with this. "You've been talking to Jake and Peyton."

Keith smiles. "Did I ever tell you that I was in love with Karen?"

Nathan looks at Keith, his eyes wide with shock. "Luke's mom? Dan's ex?"

Keith nods. "There was always something about her. She was so...good."

Nathan squirms slightly as Keith's memories start to sound a little too close to home. "And what happened?"

"Nothing. I felt like I wasn't worthy of her. I figured she'd made her choice in Dan."

"But you're twice the man Dan is," Nathan insists hotly. "And maybe she would have chosen different if she'd known she had the option."

Keith smiles and gives him a very pointed look. Gulping slightly, Nathan avoids Keith's eyes and begins fiddling with some of the papers on his desk.

"You know, I met Haley several times when I used to go and visit Lucas." Keith says. "You could do a hell of a lot worse."

Nathan looks up and gives his uncle a wry smile. "I don't think anyone could ever do any better. But she made it clear that she and I can't ever be anything more than friends. And then she left."

"Well, maybe she'll choose differently if she knows she has the option," Keith smiles kindly. "You've got some vacation time coming your way, Nathan. Maybe you should use it."

Looking thoughtful, Nathan nods. "Maybe I will."

********

"What do you mean you got lectured? You?! Lectured by a teacher?!"

Haley winces at Brooke's disapproving tone. "That's what I said," she mutters tiredly as she curls up on her bed.

"I just assumed they'd erected some sort of monument in your honor by now," Brooke rambles. "You know, like a bronzed Haley James statue with a book in one hand and water spouting out of her mouth."

"You're bizarre," Haley remarks simply.

"And yet, I'm not the one being called to the principal's office in law school," Brooke points out. "Really, Tutor Girl, what's wrong with you?"

Haley sighs heavily as she settles back against the throw pillows on her bed. "I don't know," she answers vaguely.

"Well, I've got a guess, but you're not going to like it."

Haley closes her eyes and stifles a yawn. She already knows where Brooke is going and it's a road she doesn't feel like visiting. "I'm really tired, Brooke. I don't know if I have the energy for this."

"Then blame Peyton. According to her, you're still upset over Nathan."

"That's ridiculous!" Haley exclaims, sitting up suddenly. "God, Brooke, not this again. It's been eight months!"

"Exactly!" Brooke exclaims sharply. "It's been eight months and you're still all whiny and mopey. Which is a total downer, FYI."

"So Peyton developed this theory all on her own?" Haley questions irritably.

"No," Brooke replies slowly. "I think she had Jake's help."

"And what would Jake know about this situation?"

"Nothing about you. He just got back from visiting Nathan for a few days."

Silence.

With a concentrated effort to sound as casual as possible, Haley asks lightly, "Yeah, how is he?"

"Jake or Nathan?" Brooke asks innocently.

"Brooke..." Haley remarks impatiently.

"Shitty!"

"Brooke!"

"What? You asked! I answered!"

"I'm sure he's fine."

"No, you want to believe he's fine. I'm telling you otherwise. He's trying to figure out where he went wrong. He doesn't know what to do with himself, Haley."

"I don't know what to say, Brooke. I don't know what you want to hear from me."

"I want to hear you admit that you have feelings for Nathan. The time you spent in Tree Hill was the happiest you've been in a long time, Haley. I mean, yeah, you were a little distant with me and Peyton, but..."

"And that's the problem right there!" Haley interjects.

"What is?"

"I can't do the...serious relationship thing. I'm not capable."

"What are you talking about, Haley? Of course you're capable."

"No," Haley insists. "I'm not. Being in a relationship means I have to let something else drop. My friends and law school are too important to me for me to just let them fall by the wayside. Things always end badly."

"Haley..." Brooke starts to protest.

"No, Brooke. You know what happened last time, so don't try to pretend like this isn't an issue. You _saw _what happened. And look how things ended up."

"That doesn't mean things have to be that way with Nathan," argues Brooke.

"I can't go there, Brooke," Haley insists. "I won't."

Brooke is silent for a long time. Finally, she says quietly, "I'm scared, Tutor Girl."

"Scared of what?" Haley replies, baffled by her friend's serious admission.

"I'm scared for you," Brooke explains. "Haley, you can't go on like this. Nobody can live their entire lives like this."

"Like what?" Haley retorts. "I eat, I drink, I work, I study, and I even make time for my friends. What else is there?"

"Are you serious? Do you hear yourself right now? Haley, there's more to life than survival. A hell of a lot more."

"Brooke..." Haley sighs.

"Haley, I've talked to your roommate."

"You talked to Emily?! Oh, so you're checking up on me now?!" Haley exclaims angrily.

"No," Brooke responds firmly. "She left messages for me and Peyton because she's worried about you. I know you're not eating, Haley. She says you've lost weight."

Haley shrugs as though Brooke can see her through the phone. "I had a few pounds to spare," she remarks nonchalantly.

"She says you don't sleep."

Haley pauses before she answers. "I try to sleep. I just...can't always do it."

"You know I love you, right?" Brooke asks as her voice wobbles with emotion.

Haley softens when she hears Brooke's unsteady tone. "Of course I do."

"Then I need you to do something for me."

Haley is quiet, unwilling to commit to anything without more of an explanation. "What?"

"Be happy. Whatever that means for you. Just be happy. You deserve it, Haley."

A few seconds later, they both hang up with promises to speak the next day. Sitting back against the throw pillows piled on her bed, Haley can hear Brooke's words echoing in her head.

_Just be happy. You deserve it, Haley._

She hugs a pillow to her chest as a tear rolls down her cheek.

If only Brooke knew.

********

"I must be fucking crazy," Nathan murmurs to himself as he watches the airport grow smaller and smaller through the plane's tiny window.

A sharp cry erupts from just across the aisle and Nathan glances over to see two boys, obvious brothers, arguing over some kind of video game. He can't help but smile as he watches the boys fight until their mother scolds them and orders them to quiet down. He often wonders what life would have been like if he and Lucas had grown up together. Would things have been better? More stable? Or would they have hated each other beyond measure? Would he have been turned Lucas and Haley's duo into a trio?

His mind gets stuck on that one the most. And then he thinks about Lucas's words from the night he died.

_"I'm worried about Haley, man." Lucas remarks with a shake of his head as he accepts a drink from the bartender.  
_

_Nathan glances up, a look of surprise on his face. "And you're talking to me about it?" _

_"You two are a lot alike, you know."  
_

_"Wait," Nathan interjects. "You are talking about Haley James, right? Short, pain-in-the-ass, tutor?"_

_Lucas gives Nathan a halfhearted glare before continuing, "You're both opinionated and stubborn as hell, but you're also two of the best people I know. And neither of you seems to believe that you deserve the best things in life."_

_"What are you talking about?" Nathan questions skeptically as he thinks of the lifestyle he leads. Shit, if there's anyone who knows about the best things in life, it's him._

_"I'm not talking about cars or booze or women, Nathan," Lucas insists wryly. "I'm talking about the real stuff. Love, commitment, trust, respect. The stuff that you've never even once looked for in a woman."_

_Nathan frowns. "And what's this got to do with Haley James?"_

_"She's making a mistake, man. She's settling for something that's not even a fraction of what she deserves. Just like you."_

_Nathan raises his glass towards Lucas. "And what do you suggest, Oh Wise One?"_

_Lucas smirks. "I'm suggesting that my brother and my best friend need to get the hell over their issues from the past. If the two of you could just put your differences behind you, maybe you'd..." He shakes his head and takes a sip from his drink._

_"Maybe we'd what?" Nathan inquires, his curiosity piqued._

_"Never mind, man." Lucas answers. "You know what, I'm beat. What do you say we call it a night? We can finish this in the morning."_

Nathan clenches his fists as he recalls the conversation they'd had that night. Mostly because when the sun came up the next morning, Lucas was already dead.

"What were you trying to say, Luke? Cause I really love that girl and I could use your help." Nathan murmurs under his breath. "Why couldn't you just come out and say it? Typical, fucking Lucas being all cryptic and shit."

"Can I get you a drink, sir?"

Startled, Nathan turns to see a pretty flight attendant watching him curiously with a pen and notepad in her hands. Great, now the flight attendant probably thinks they have a psychopath on board. What is he thinking? He's talking to his dead brother. He _is _a psychopath. He clears his throat to respond.

"Yeah," Nathan agrees. "Please."

"And what would you like?"

Nathan considers and then looks up. "Whatever you've got that'll make me brave."

********

The building is cute and very California. It's newer--tan stucco with pretty cream-colored detailing and a terracotta roof. It's small; just four townhouses clustered together, and it takes him no time at all to locate her front door. Pressing the round white button, he hears the doorbell chime inside and then the muffled curse that almost immediately follows. A moment passes and then the door swings wide open, golden light spilling into the breezeway. Looking up, he finds himself staring into the gray eyes of a tall redhead.

"Is Haley here?" he asks politely, hoping that she hasn't decided to run some spontaneous errand.

The redhead takes a step back, looking Nathan over from top to bottom, and then raises her eyebrows. Just behind her he can see the apartment's interior and he's impressed with the open and airy feel of the small home. It's large with vaulted ceilings and a fireplace. A kitchen complete with a breakfast bar takes up the far left corner while the living room is on the right. A hallway is situated directly ahead and he cranes his neck in an effort to spot Haley somewhere inside.

"Oh Ha-ley!" the redhead singsongs rather loudly.

Nathan practically sighs in relief when he hears Haley's voice echo from another room. "I already told you, Em! I'm not going with you to your pole-dancing class! No way, no how. Not going to hap..." her words cut off as she appears at the end of the hallway and spots the broad silhouette in the doorway. "Nathan?" she whispers in disbelief, her eyes widening in shock.

Attempting to keep the mood light, Nathan cocks his head. "Are you sure you don't want to go with..." he glances at the redhead.

"Emily," she supplies with a smile.

"With Emily here?" he finishes. "Because I hear pole-dancing is great exercise. I would fully support that choice."

The joke falls flat. Haley shakes her head mutely and takes a few slow steps forward so that she's just a few feet in front of him.

Nathan can't the stop the smile that appears on his face at the sight of her. She's here. She's right in front of him. But then he looks at her more closely. He takes in the loose fit of her sweats and her t-shirt. He sees how pronounced her cheekbones have become and he notes that her hair and eyes are lacking the sheen that had always been so uniquely Haley. She looks sad and exhausted and more than a little uneasy over his sudden presence in her living room. He wonders he's made a mistake in coming.

"Well," Emily announces abruptly, "this explains it."

"Explains what?" Haley questions.

"Why you seem to be so totally uninterested in acting like a single girl," Emily explains. "I was beginning to think you were a lesbian," she exclaims. "You should have just told me you were pining for Mr. Abercrombie over here." Emily gives Nathan another glance. "I would have _totally _understood."

"Oh, we're not..." "He's not..." "This isn't..."

"Nathan's a friend," Haley explains. And then softly, almost hesitantly, "One of my best friends."

Nathan's face softens upon hearing those words and he has to fight the urge to reach out and pull her into a protective hug.

"Right," says Emily skeptically. "So are my parents. But they've been married for 30 years." She looks back and forth between the pair and nods. "Ri-ight. Well, Hales, I think I'm going to go ahead and crash at Paul's for the night. Give you two some time to...catch up, I guess. I'll see you tomorrow."

Haley watches as her roommate practically sprints for the door and then stares at the door long after it closes. After several moments, she remembers herself and takes a step back as she eyes Nathan cautiously.

Nathan decides to break the ice. "So, she seems nice."

"Emily?" Haley nods. "Yeah, she is. She can get a little...Brookeish sometimes, but she's a good friend."

Nathan offers her a small smile before continuing. "How's school?"

"Okay, I guess," she replies with a shrug. "To be honest, my heart just hasn't been in it this year."

"Are you struggling?" he asks her with a look of concern.

"No, no," she shakes her head. "I just haven't been...as enthusiastic as I once was."

"I think I know the feeling," Nathan admits.

Another moment of silence passes and they are both still standing nervously in the entryway to her apartment.

"Nathan, what are you doing here?" she asks him uncertainly.

His expression becomes serious and he looks searchingly into her dark eyes before he responds, "What do you think I'm doing here?"

"Nathan," Haley starts.

"Don't, Haley. Don't just cut me off and try to make this into something it's not. This isn't a casual visit between friends and I'm not going to pretend it is just to make you more comfortable. There are things that need to be said, and we're going to say them whether you like it or not."

************

Haley takes a seat on the leather couch and watches as Nathan lowers himself into the armchair just across from her.

"So how have you been?" she inquires politely.

Nathan's eyes nearly bug out in disbelief when he hears her start to make small talk, but he decides to play along. "Not too bad, I guess. I moved to Charlotte and started working for Keith."

"Really?" Haley responds in surprise.

Nathan nods. "I'm actually pretty good at my job, I guess. And I like working with Keith." He adds, "He's a good guy."

Haley smiles fondly as she remembers Lucas's kind and generous uncle. "Yes, he is," she agrees. "I'm just glad you're happy, Nathan."

Nathan looks up sharply at her words. He can see the sincerity in her eyes, but he can also hear the sadness and longing in her voice. They're subtle, but they're definitely there. He knows because he's been hearing the same thing in his own voice ever since she'd left Tree Hill.

"Are you kidding?!" he demands to know. "I'm a lot of things, Haley. I'm definitely fortunate. I'm alive when I could have easily been killed in that accident, and I've got a decent job despite the fact that I can no longer play the game I love. Things could be a lot worse." He shakes his head. "But I'm sure as hell not happy."

Haley looks confused. "But, Nathan, I thought..."

"Why did you leave?" he asks abruptly.

She's obviously put off by the directness of his question and she gives him a curious look before she starts to form a response. "I needed to get back to real life, Nathan. I told you this in Tree Hill."

"Yeah, and I didn't fly all the way out here for your line of bullshit, Haley. I just want the truth. Why did you leave?"

She's plucking at the pilling on her ancient sweats and staring fixedly into her lap. "There are a lot of reasons," she finally admits. "I have a lot of things I've been working through, Nathan. I just wasn't making any progress in Tree Hill. If anything, I was losing ground. I can't play games at this point in my life, Nathan. I've already neglecting too many important things in my life. I can't fall into that trap again.

"Why do you think I'm here?" Nathan questions forcefully.

Haley looks uncomfortable now as she wrings her hands nervously and shifts around on the couch. "I don't know. I just don't know what you want from me, Nathan."

His expression softens when he sees just how anxious she is. He wants to make her see, make her understand, but he never wants to make her feel overwhelmed or out of place. He's already done more than enough of that in the lifespan of their relationship. "I want you, Haley. Just you. Just the way you are. That's what I want."

Surprise flickers over Haley's pretty features and she nearly sends Nathan into hysterics when she asks, "Why?"

His eyebrows raise and his jaw drops and, not for the first time, he wonders how it is possible that the woman sitting across from him can really have doubts over a man wanting her. Wanting to be with her. "Because," he starts to explain. "Because you can make me smile just by looking at you. You make me laugh when you tell embarrassingly bad jokes or when you try to engage in any kind of athletic activity. Because you drive me absolutely crazy when you correct my grammar or when you start trying to nag me, but then I realize how glad I am that I have someone like you to make me crazy. Because being with you is the easiest and most natural thing I've ever done. It makes me happy. Because even in the face of Luke's death and losing my basketball career, the months we spent in Tree Hill were the happiest I've ever been." He can see the resistance in both her eyes and posture, and he takes a ragged breath when he realizes he's going to have to go the distance. He's going to have to utter the three words that have been so scant in his life until now. "I love you, Haley," he announces. "Is that so hard for you to understand?"

Haley is slumped on the couch, her head cocked, and her hand over her heart as Nathan talks. By the time he finishes his speech, there are tears pouring down her cheeks and she's attempting to bite back the mini-sobs that are threatening to escape.

The sight of her tears is almost more than Nathan can handle. Before he knows it, he's kneeling on the floor next to the couch and shaking his head as he brushes gently at her tears. "Don't cry, baby," he pleads. "That's not what I want. I just...I want you to come back to me."

Looking up, Haley is taken aback by the expression--equal parts hope and love--on Nathan's face. He's all she's ever wanted and he's just said everything she's ever wanted to hear from a man. But she knows the truth about how these things work. It's only a matter of time before she drives him away--just like she's done to all the others. He deserves better. He deserves someone whole--someone who is capable of love without ruin.

Before she can stop herself, she's holding his face in her hands and crying openly. "You shouldn't have said that. This would have been so much easier if you just wouldn't have said anything, Nathan."

Raising his hands to grip her wrists, he frowns. "What are you talking about? Of course I had to tell you."

She shakes her head before tugging her hands away from him. "We can't do this, Nathan. _I _can't do this."

Nathan smiles at her and nods his head encouragingly. "Yes, you can, Hales. We can. I don't care what it takes. I'll move out here or you can move out there or...hell, we can move to Antarctica for all I care. We'll make it work."

Brushing hastily at her tears, Haley takes a moment to absorb the sight of him looking at her with such excitement and belief in what they can be. Closing her eyes, she imagines herself leaping into his arms and kissing him until they both run out of breath, but she can't. She loves him too much to let him waste his feelings on , she schools her features into an expression of utter control.

"No, Nathan," she replies in a steady tone. "You don't understand, Nathan. We _can't _do this. And I don't want to."

Nathan's head is shaking before he even speaks. "You're lying, Haley. You're lying to me and to yourself. I know you want this! You're just afraid! And that's okay, baby. It scares me too, but we can figure it out. It's worth it."

"Nathan," Haley insists as she stands up. "You need to leave."

His face hardens and he shakes his head firmly replying, "No."

"You _have _to go!" Haley fires back. "Please leave!"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Nathan gives her an appraising look. "Why?"

"Because," Haley responds archly. She hurries over to the door and takes a deep breath before responding, "I'm with someone."

"You're...with someone," Nathan repeats. "You're with someone? Who?"

Lifting her chin defiantly, she clears her throat and prays for forgiveness as she goes in for the kill. "Matthew and I are...trying to work things out."

Nathan's face crumbles and Haley has to bite down hard on her bottom lip to keep from letting out an anguished wail at the sight. His eyes are wide and questioning as he looks at her for furthern confirmation. "Matthew?! Haley! Please tell me you're kidding!" Nathan exclaims. "Matthew?!"

"It makes sense, Nathan," Haley argues. "He and I...we're the same. We've both got very busy schedules and we're constantly having to bring work home."

"It's a relationship, Haley! Not a business arrangement!" Nathan spits angrily.

Haley shrugs. "I don't do the love thing, Nathan. It's an illusion. It goes away eventually."

"I don't believe you," Nathan announces stubbornly. "I know you, Haley. And Lucas knew you. This isn't you."

"Well, believe what you want," Haley answers coolly. "But it is what it is.'' She adds, "I'm sorry that you flew all the way out here for nothing."

Glaring hatefully at her, Nathan storms out the door and turns to look at her one more time. "Yeah, me too," he mutters before disappearing into the dark night.

Haley maintains her composure until she slides the dead-bolt into place. With the resounding click, she doubles over in agony as the pain of what she's done pulses throughout her entire body. Sobs wrack her body and she's gasping for breath as she curls up into a ball on the couch. The image of Nathan's stricken face refuses to leave her mind and as she sniffles messily, she wonders how she got to this point.

"God, Nathan," she whispers tiredly to herself. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

***********

There's a ringing sound coming from somewhere nearby. It starts off slow, but it's working itself into quite a frantic rhythm until he thinks he may have finally cracked. For good.

His head feels as though it weighs a ton as he lifts it from the pillow he has crumpled in his arms. "What the fuck?!!!" he yells out, frustrated by the persistent ringing.

"Nathan!!! Open up! You open this damn door or I'll break it down! Open up, son!"

"Uncle Keith?" Nathan murmurs to himself. After a moment, he realizes that the ringing is the doorbell, and the yelling is his worried uncle. "Goddammit!" he mutters to himself.

He looks around feeling extremely disoriented and tries to regain his bearings. He's sprawled out on top of his messy unmade bed in a pair of boxers. He's sweating like crazy--Jesus, it's hot in here--and his head feels as though it's been stuffed full of cotton. He realizes he must have been totally shitfaced last night. A quick glance at the assortment of bottles on his nightstand confirms his theory. Great, he thinks, I've become my mother. As he struggles to sit up, he looks around his bedroom and sucks in a breath.

It's absolutely destroyed.

Drawers have been yanked from his dresser and then overturned, their contents strewn all over the place. The few framed photos he keeps are now shattered, shards of glass littering the hard wood floor. His curtains have been yanked down from the windows and the lamp from his bedside table is on the floor with a torn lampshade.

There's a huge bang downstairs and Nathan can feel the momentary rattle of the walls before it is replaced by silence. Then he can hear a quietly muttered, "Jesus!" from downstairs, and he knows Keith has managed to break into the house.

"Go home, Keith," Nathan yells out tiredly. "Just get the hell out."

Nathan falls back against the comfort of his bed and groans when he hears heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. He should have known better than to think his saintly uncle would actually leave him like this. After a moment, Keith appears in the doorway, his face a mixture of shock and worry. "Not gonna happen, Nate."

Nathan feels himself begin to panic as Keith approaches. "Just leave me the fuck alone, Keith!" Nathan roars. "You're just like everyone else! So just leave!"

Shaking his head, Keith continues is slow approach until he is standing near the bed. Glass crunches beneath his boots, but he pays no attention to the destroyed room. "Not until you tell me what's going on."

***********

An hour later, a freshly-showered Nathan is making his way downstairs. As soon as his feet hit the bottom step, the scent of strong-as-mud coffee fills his nostrils. Glancing around the house, he sees that his destructive behavior was not limited to his bedroom and he immediately starts doing the mental calculations of just how much time and money the clean-up will cost him. He loves this house. Sure it's large for one person, but there's something about it that just feels like home. Whenever he looks around, he can see a future--the type of future that makes it worth getting up each morning. He can see himself coming down the stairs to find Haley cooking bacon while the kids watch cartoons. He can imagine hanging stockings on the mantle or putting dollhouses together on Christmas Eve. The house represents the kind of person he wants to be, and he's gone and destroyed it.

With a heavy sigh, Nathan drops into a chair across from Keith and nods gratefully when a cup of steaming coffee appears in front of him.

"So you want to tell me what that was all about?" Keith prompts him.

"Which part?"

"Well, for starters, you were supposed to be back at work yesterday," Keith reminds him. "And then there's the fact that your house looks like it was the home of the third world war."

Nathan shrugs indifferently. "I guess I was angry."

"Well, I certainly hope so," Keith remarks. "I'd hate to think that's just your method for redecorating."

Nathan scowls as he drinks his coffee and Keith is silent.

"So I take it things didn't go well with Haley," Keith finally guesses.

Nathan snorts. "You think? What was your first hint?"

"What happened, Nate?"

"She said no," Nathan responds simply. "She doesn't want me."

"Somehow I have a hard time believing that it was as cut and dry as that."

Nathan lifts his shoulders again. "It was. I love her. I told her that I love her. She told me that she can't love me."

"Do you believe her?"

"How can I not believe her? She said it straight to my face."

"Maybe it was easier for her to say _that _to your face than to tell you the truth."

Clenching his hands tightly, he lifts one of his fists and brings it down with a noisy pound on the table top. Coffee sploshes out of his cup and Keith jumps slightly. Then Nathan drops his face to his hands and, to his embarrassment, begins to tear up--something he hasn't done in a very long time.

"She doesn't want me!" he cries out in agony. "I love her, Uncle Keith. I just want to be with her. I thought...everyone kept telling me she loved me! I thought she'd come back here and I could show her this house. I thought we would be together and things could go back to being okay. I would do anything for her. Anything."

Keith's chair grinds against the floor as he stands. Coming around to Nathan's side of the table, he gives his nephew a firm squeeze on his shoulders. "It'll be okay, Nate. You're gonna be okay. The ball is in her court now. All you can do is continue living your life." He smiles, "If Haley's as smart as I think she is, she'll eventually want to be a part of it."

***********

"You told him _what_?!"

"God, you sound like Brooke and Peyton," Haley sighs as she leans back against the couch cushions.

"Well, maybe that's because the three of us aren't suffering from a severe case of what-the-hell-were-you-thinking!" Emily cries out. "That guy is seriously in love with you, Haley James. Even I could see that! And I _know _you're in love with him. Don't forget I've lived with you for the past eight months. And telling him you're with Matthew?! This is a mistake, Haley. A huge mistake."

"It's for the best," Haley states simply, unwilling to argue the same topic to death.

"Now, see, you seem to use that line of reasoning a lot, Haley," Emily comments, "but you're going to be a lawyer and you know as well as I do that that line would never hold up in court. I'm looking for evidence here, Haley. Solid reasoning for why you're so casually throwing away a guy who is clearly head over heels for you. You told him you were in a relationship with someone else, Haley. How could you do that to him?"

"It was the only way I could get him to give up on the idea of us."

"Oh, okay," Emily agrees. "So you're over him?"

Haley shrugs. "I have to be."

"So in five years when you inevitably run into Nathan Scott on the sidewalk of some random street in some random city, you're telling me that you will be 100% unaffected? You won't be bothered by the sight of him kissing another woman and holding the hand of a kid that looks like a perfect blend of Nathan and someone who isn't you."

Haley grimaces slightly at the vivid scenario Emily has described. No, she sure as hell would _not _be okay with that. But it's a little late now.

Emily nods. "That's what I thought."

"Of course that's not what I want," Haley retorts. "But that's what I deserve. Look at what happened with my last relationship! I caused some major damage to the people I care about most...all because I was so swept up in a man. I can't go there again," Haley insists. "I already lost Luke. I can't bear to lose the friendships I have left."

"I don't understand you, Haley. This is the one situation in which you can have your cake and eat it too. You say you want a relationship with Nathan. Then go for it. You say you don't want to lose your friendships. Then don't. Nobody ever said you had to make a choice." Shaking her head in frustration, Emily tosses her hands up in the air. "Forget it! I can't deal all of your vague explanations for why you're ruining what is potentially the best thing that's happened to you. I'm done with this. Unlike _someone_, I still have one more final exam. I'll see you later."

Emily looks at Haley with obvious irritation before shaking her head and walking out the door.

**********

The slam of the door causes a framed photo to rattle loose from it's nail and clatter to a landing behind the short bookshelf in the small entry way. With a tired sigh, she pushes herself up from the couch and brushes at her tears before making her way over to rescue the fallen object. Pulling the bookshelf back from the wall, she's surprised to see that the frame is still in one piece. Within a moment, she's replaced it on its hook and she spends another second adjusting it to make certain it's resting straight. As she bends over to push the bookshelf back into place, a small corner of white paper catches her eye. Reaching down, she pinches the corner between her fingertips and tugs it up from underneath the bookshelf. It's a letter, she realizes. She routinely sets her mail on top of the shelves, so she immediately assumes that it's a piece of mail which has fallen between the bookshelf and the wall. A closer examination, however, reveals that the letter bears no mailing address--just her name in slanted handwriting that she knows all too well.

She lets out a strangled cry when she realizes what she's discovered, and she brings a shaky hand to cover her mouth as she examines the envelope with great care.

She feels herself gasping for breath before she leans back against the wall, sliding down into a crumpled heap on the floor. Staring at the envelope once more, she slides her thumb beneath the seal and begins to tear it open. The letter is one-page and its words are both candid and heartfelt. Her lower lip begins trembling somewhere during the second line of the letter, and by the time she finishes, there are tears streaming down her cheeks as her body is wracked with sobs. The thick paper is dotted with evidence of her tears by the time she finally gets her wits about her. After a split-second of consideration, she is pushing herself to her feet and rushing towards her bedroom. Immediately, she is in front of her closet and yanking items from their hangers at random. Pulling her suitcase from a shelf, she begins hurriedly stuffing clothing inside.

She's packed within fifteen minutes and she emerges from her bedroom with a rolling suitcase in tow. Stopping near the front door, she snatches the pen and notepad that she and Emily use to leave notes for one another. A quick minute later and she's scribbling her signature across the bottom of the page before propping the note against the wall for better visibility. She reads over her words one more time before nodding in satisfaction and hurrying out the door. The small gust of outdoor air causes the note to flutter slightly, but the bold strokes of the sharpie are clear.

_**Em--**_

_**You were right.  
**_

_**Gone to North Carolina.**_

_**I'll be in touch.  
**_

_**--Haley**_


	6. The Apology

A/N: No excuses...just apologies. Sorry for the delay, but I decided to make a few "small changes"...and then ended up re-writing the whole chapter, which eventually became two separate chapters. I've been torturing myself over it--just couldn't get it right. It's still not exactly what I wanted, but I figured I'd better get it posted before I deleted the whole thing again. I truly appreciate all of the thoughtful reviews and messages I've received. I know how easy it is to read a chapter and click on to the next story or website, so I really do value the fact that so many of you take the time to review. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.

**Part Six-The Apology  
**

_"I'm your best friend, Haley! I just want what's best for you!"_

_"And it's best if you let me make my own decisions, Lucas! I don't know why you think you're entitled to come here and tell me what to do. I'm with Matthew!"_

_"He's not right for you, Haley! The guy is an ass! He treats you like shit, he separates you from your friends, and he doesn't give a damn about what you want out of life! When was the last time he just sat down and talked to you about what you want? Huh?"_

_Haley fumbles for some sort of explanation. "He's just preoccupied. I mean, he's got a very high-pre__ssure job. I'm still in law school. He's got real things to worry about."_

_"See? That's what I'm talking about! The guy's got you brainwashed into thinking that you're not as important as he is!"_

_Haley scoffs. "Lucas! Come on, that's not true."_

_"Haley, we're all worried about you. Brooke, Peyton, Jake...we're all concerned. We never hear from you anymore. The only time you ever go anywhere is if you're with him."_

_"I'm being supportive!" Haley argues._

_"Yeah, and you're being stupid! You know what? Forget everything I said. I'm seeing things more clearly now. Matthew isn't an idiot. He's a genius! He's got the perfect situation. A beautiful, intelligent girlfriend who gives him everything he wants and never asks for anything in return. Hell, I'm sure he snaps his fingers and you come running. The guy would be an idiot not to take advantage."_

_Haley is staring in shock, her jaw dropped. "Lucas..." she whispers, the hurt heavy in her voice. _

_"I'm sorry, Haley, but you needed to hear the truth. I don't even know who you are anymore. What happened to my best friend? You know, the one who kicked Ryan Schultz in the shin for throwing sand in my eyes in the first grade. Or the one who punched Eric Bertram in the nose for using his tongue during that game of spin-the-bottle. Where's the girl who put Nathan Scott in his place when he was an ass to her in high school? Hell, even Nathan remembers that."_

_"I don't want to talk about him. I don't want to talk about any of it. I've changed, Luke. Nobody ever saw that girl. Nobody even knew who that girl was. I got tired of being invisible."_

_Lucas is staring at her, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about? Everybody knew who that girl was, Haley. Everybody."_

_Haley is quiet for a moment, tears shimmering in her eyes. Her lips quiver slightly and then she shrugs. "He loves me, Lucas."_

_The frustration suddenly becomes too much and Lucas tosses his hands in the air. "Fine, Haley! Fine! He loves you! So go ahead and be happy with Matthew. With purposeful strides, he begins to storm towards the front door. Turning, he shouts, "You're my best friend, Haley, but I can't support your relationship with him. Call me when you've come to your senses and I'll be there." _

_Haley watches as he disappears around the hall corner and then waits for a moment. She jumps slightly at the slam of the front door, and then she puts her head in her hands and cries._

The plane jumps slightly and Haley stirs to hear the startled gasps of her fellow passengers.

"Sorry about that, folks," the pilot apologizes over the intercom. "We're going to go ahead and illuminate the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign since it looks like we've got a bit of a rough ride ahead."

Her cheek is resting against the cold window of the plane as she looks out into the night sky. Her final exams were finished, so, without hesitation, she'd thrown a few necessities into a carry-on bag and rushed to the airport. Brooke and Peyton had been in full support of her decision to go after Nathan, so in a burst of spontaneity, she had purchased a ticket for the first trip to Charlotte she could find. Now, with mere hours between her and North Carolina, she's finally thinking more clearly about the choices she is making. Squirming slightly, she reaches into her pants pocket and pulls out the slightly crumpled piece of stationery. Reading over the words written in Luke's crooked scrawl, she closes her eyes and lets out a sigh. He'd been right the entire time and now she can't understand why she refused to listen to him. How could she ever have thought that Matthew could have had her best interests at heart? How could she ever have thought that Matthew could have truly loved her?

Nathan had shown her more love and devotion than Matthew ever had...and she and Nathan hadn't even been a couple.

She has to do this.

She knows that there is every chance that Nathan will slam the door in her face, but she also knows that she's going to do what it takes to convince him that she wants to be with him. Scratch that. She will do what it takes to convince him that she _needs_ to be with him.

She just hopes that Nathan will forgive her for being such an idiot. With a tired sigh, she closes her eyes and rests her cheek against her palm. She doesn't know what she'll do when she arrives in Charlotte, but she wants to be at least somewhat rested when she gets there.

**********

Her rental car is a nondescript sedan in a muted silver, and it has that 'new car' scent that everyone is always raving about. Haley thinks it's rather suffocating. Or maybe it's just that her nerves are finally getting the best of her. Either way, she's barely a mile from the airport before she's rolling down the window and gasping desperately for fresh North Carolina air.

She's gripping a scrap of paper between her thumb and her forefinger as she drives. Squinting at her own neat handwriting, she peers out through the windshield as she coasts slowly down the shady street in search of a very specific address. When she finally spots the numbers on an ornate mailbox, she does a double-take.

His house is a surprise to her.

When she pulls up to the address she'd gotten from Peyton, she has to glance back at the slip of paper to make sure she hasn't made a mistake. She'd expected something...different. Maybe a modern house of glass sitting on the beach or an ostentatious mansion with turrets and balconies. Instead, she finds herself looking at a white colonial with green shutters and a cozy front porch. It's two stories and certainly large, but its size doesn't appear to be for show so much as it looks to be for function. There's a swing on the front porch and a large front lawn that looks perfect for the occasional game of catch. This is a family house. This is the house she's always wanted to share with her own husband and children.

Climbing out of her rental car, she shuts the door and then leans against it to admire the neighborhood. It's full of homes similar to Nathan's, with wide sidewalks and a canopy of ancient shade trees. Turning back to face the house in front of her, Haley takes a deep breath and then nods resolutely.

She doesn't know what she's going to say or do when she finally meets him face-to-face. All she knows is that she's going to try her damndest to keep him from slamming the door in her face--despite the fact that she knows it's what she deserves. She's feeling somewhat intimidated, but she's about to make her move when she hears a door slam and spots Nathan coming down the front walk. He's wearing a gray t-shirt and some black track pants, and he's whistling softly as he makes his way to his car which is parked beneath the basketball hoop in the driveway.

As though she's drawn to him, Haley is moving forward before she even realizes it.

It takes a moment before he sees her, but when he does, his step immediately loses its spring. He slows to an eventual stop and watches her quizzically, as though he thinks she might just vanish right before his eyes.

She sees him, hears him call her name, but she can't respond.

All she can think is that this is the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. This is the man she wants to raise a family with, grow old with, travel with, watch late-night television with. She wants it all. With him.

She takes a breath. "Nathan..."

**********

He doesn't notice her right away. He's actually rather distracted by the fact that he's running late...and he really doesn't feel up to explaining his tardiness to the boys.

He's kept busy in the days since returning from California. After his 'come to Jesus' moment with Keith, he'd realized that pining away wasn't going to do anyone any good. It certainly wasn't going to make Haley want to be with him. So he'd gotten back into the swing of his routine. Work, practice, game, work, practice, game. With his help, the team that had been so sorry at the start of the season was looking like a shoo-in for the league championship at the end of the summer. Turning to lock the front door, he smiles wryly. He hadn't even had the chance to tell Haley about the team. When he'd signed on, he'd done it with her in mind. He'd known she would be impressed by his dedication to the game despite his injury. As it had turned out though, he'd absolutely loved it. He never would have guessed he'd be so in his element on the sidelines.

Whistling softly to himself, he makes his way over to his Range Rover, but then he feels the hair-raising prickle of someone's eyes on him and looks up. He stops short, nearly toppling head over heels at the sight of her. There, standing at the edge of his driveway, is Haley James.

"Haley?" he calls hesitantly, his eyes narrowed in confusion. For a split-second he wonders if his brain has conjured her as some sort of mirage, but then he realizes that his illusion of Haley would look a hell of a lot less miserable than the one in front of him.

Her steps are slow and deliberate as she makes her way up his driveway. As she comes closer, he can see that the past several days have taken their toll on her. Actually, she looks worse than he does. Her jeans and zip hoodie are rumpled--probably from her trip--and her eyes look tired. Her hair is twisted messily atop her head, and her shoulders are slumped as though she can barely hold herself up. She looks sad and remorseful.

"Nathan," she greets softly, nervously twisting her car keys in her hand.

Nathan stares at her for another moment, still stunned that she's standing in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

He watches as her hand immediately flutters to the pocket of her jeans. "I had to come," she responds. "I had to at least try."

"Try what?" he asks in confusion. He won't be cruel, but he's not going to make this easy for her either. "I thought we'd pretty much settled things back in California."

She stands for a moment and stares mutely. Opening her mouth, she tries to speak, but no sound emerges.

Nathan watches her expectantly before letting out an impatient sigh. "Haley," he starts. "I don't have time for this. You made yourself perfectly clear the last time we spoke." With a shake of his head, he turns around and heads to his car.

"No, Nathan," she interrupts. "Please listen. Please." Her voice cracks on the last 'please' and catches his attention. She really does look exhausted, and as much as he'd like to be so cold as to send her packing, he wants nothing more than to tuck her into bed. He turns hesitantly and waits.

"I'm sorry!" she exclaims abruptly, tears finally spilling onto her cheeks. Her arms are wrapped protectively around her middle and she's looking at him hopefully. "I was wrong! I was so, so wrong!"

"Wrong about what?" Nathan inquires coolly.

"Everything," Haley utters softly. "The things you want, the things you said...I want those things too, Nathan. More than anything. I just...I didn't think I could have them."

"And yet you were so quick to inform me that Matthew was the perfect guy for you," Nathan retorts icily, the words laced with hurt. "Jesus, Haley! I fly out to California to declare my love for you, and you respond by telling me you're choosing the guy that cheated on you? What the hell?!"

"I lied," Haley murmurs. "I knew you would never leave unless you thought..." She pauses and swallows nervously. Shaking her head, she tries to regain some composure. "There are so many reasons for why I did what I did--"

"I don't want your excuses, Haley," Nathan cuts in.

"No," Haley shakes her head immediately. "No excuses. But if I could just explain, maybe I could make you see that it was never about _us_. I always wanted _us._"

Nathan stares blankly for several seconds, but then he's shaking his head and glancing at his watch. "I really don't have time for this."

At his dismissal, Haley can feel her throat begin to ache as her eyes begin to well with tears. "You don't understand, Nathan--" she tries again.

"Haley," he responds firmly. "I can't do this."

Her eyes are sad, but she recognizes the seriousness in his voice and she nods. "Okay." Then she looks up at him and tries to give him a smile. "Okay," she repeats. "But this isn't over."

Turning around, she begins walking back over to her rental car, but not before taking one more look over her shoulder.

He's still standing on his driveway and watching her walk away with a look of indecision.

"Where are you going?" he calls out suddenly.

Pausing, she turns to face him. She shrugs. "I thought..."

Nathan shakes his head. "I can't do this right _here_...or right _now_," he emphasizes. "But only because I've got somewhere to be." He sighs heavily. "I really should kick your ass to the curb after the shit you've put me through, you know that?"

Relief floods Haley's veins and she can feel her entire body relax as she gives him a small smile and nods. "I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"Do you have a place to stay?" he questions with a resigned sigh. "I mean, did you at least book a hotel before coming out here?"

Haley flushes a little bit and then shakes her head. "I hadn't thought about it. I just...I was trying to get here and..."

Nathan frowns slightly at just how frazzled Haley seems to be. He's so used to seeing her so calm and in control that it's a little bit alarming to see her looking so completely overwhelmed. As angry as he is, he knows he'll never be able to focus on the game if he's busy worrying about her well-being. "I'll probably regret this, but you could...you could come with me if you want," he offers uncertainly. "I mean, it's not the most exciting thing in the world, but I think you might enjoy it. And I've got a guest room. It's better than you having to fork over a hundred bucks a night."

Her face brightening, Haley nods eagerly. "I'd like that."

Nathan's expression is hard as he gives her a nod. In a flash, he's moving towards his car and she guesses that she's supposed to follow.

She bites nervously on her bottom lip as she trails Nathan to the Range Rover that's parked in the driveway. She's surprised when he holds the passenger door open for her, and she blushes prettily as he watches her buckle her seat belt before he shuts the door behind her. She knows that he probably doesn't even realize he's doing it, but it pleases her all the same. He takes care of her. He treats her like she's something of great importance. When he settles into the driver's seat and gives her a small smile, she has to fight the urge to smack her own forehead. How in the world had she ever even considered giving him up?

**********

Neither of them speaks during the first few minutes of the drive.

While Nathan appears to be totally unaffected by the heavy silence that's befallen them, Haley is squirming with discomfort. It's not so much that she's uncomfortable being alone and quiet with Nathan, it's more that she is desperate to know what he's thinking. Unfortunately, he seems perfectly content to keep her in the dark. Tilting her head, she examines him as he drives and feels her heart flutter slightly at the sight of his strong profile. He's an incredibly handsome man and she can't help the burst of pride she feels at the thought of him being hers. Reality dampens that momentary case of happiness, however, when she remembers that he's not hers. He could have been, but she turned him down. _Because I'm an idiot_, she thinks.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Haley finally questions, bursting with curiosity.

Nathan shrugs, "Nope."

Confused, Haley frowns and then twists in her seat to look at him. "You don't have anything to say to me? No yelling at me? No asking why I'm here?"

Glancing over quickly, Nathan focuses his attention back on the road. "I think I've done enough talking, Haley. I've said what I felt needed to be said. You're the one who didn't seem to want to hear it. From here on out, you're going to have to do the talking. I'm done trying to plead my case."

Haley flinches at the bitterness in his tone. "Hurting you is the last thing in the world I'd ever want to do, Nathan. I just...I panicked. I panicked and I made some stupid choices."

Nathan is quiet as he carefully considers his words. "I've never said those words to anyone else. You know that, right?"

Haley looks down. She had suspected as much, but hearing him confirm her suspicions just makes her feel worse. "I do now."

"God, Haley...every time I feel like we're finally getting somewhere, you take off on me. I'm just not going to do that. I've put myself out there a few times now, and you just shut down. I can't spend the rest of my life chasing you. I won't."

Haley watches him closely for several moments. His coolness is unnerving to say the least. While she's glad he hasn't thrown her out on her ass, his lack of emotion is disconcerting to her. Of course, joyful kisses and passionate sex would have been her first choice on his list of "Ways Nathan Could Greet Haley" but she had known the chances of such a welcome would be slim to none. Still, anger or bitterness would be easier to deal with than this calm and cool version of Nathan. She doesn't know what to do with calm and cool.

After carefully considering his words, she nods in understanding. "Fair enough," she agrees. "So where are we headed?"

A smirk tugs at the corners of Nathan's mouth before he responds cryptically, "Oh, you'll see."

*********

Haley rocks back and forth in an effort to increase the blood flow to her ass. The metal bleachers have successfully eliminated any feeling she'd had in her butt, and she's now fairly certain that she'll be unable to walk again. Strangely enough though, it's all worth it.

The crowd around her cheers excitedly and she applauds enthusiastically when she sees that Nathan's team has scored. A little blond boy is pumping his arms in the air, obviously proud of his great feat, but his victory dance is cut short when Nathan calls out to him to get his head back in the game.

"Great job, Aaron, but there's still a game on. Stay focused, buddy!" Nathan urges with an encouraging grin.

The young boy practically basks in Nathan's praise and Haley smiles at the sight.

Upon arriving at a local middle school, Haley had been baffled, but when they had entered the school's small gym she'd seen the dozens of elementary school children wearing basketball jerseys. At that point, she'd realized that Nathan was coaching a youth league basketball team. He'd explained to her that he'd had so much fun helping Skills the previous summer, that he'd decided to take on a team for himself. His pride had been unmistakable as he had described the improvement his team had shown since starting practices. She is thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to watch Nathan in his element. Unfortunately, a few fellow spectators are ruining their experience with their whispers.

''I didn't know the coach had a girlfriend."

"Does it matter? You've got a husband."

"Yeah, but it's going to put a damper on the daydreams I have whenever I'm sitting through one of these games."

Glancing up at the small cluster of women just a few rows back, Haley lets out a sigh and turns her attention back to the court. She knows the type. They're the women with the manicured fingernails and the expensive salon dye-jobs...the ones who attend college just to meet Mr. Right and then hurry to stake their claim on suburbia. Their whispers had started almost as soon as she and Nathan had arrived, and they had continued all the way through the game.

"I had a body like that when I was in my twenties too," one of the women announces. "Then I had three kids. Let's just see how attentive he is once she's got stretch marks and a saggy chest."

Haley rolls her eyes at their gossip. She knows Nathan well enough to realize that he doesn't like people prying in his personal life. Trying to set the women straight would just be providing them with more information than they deserve, so as painful as it is, she bites her tongue and keeps her eyes on the court. Clapping her hands, she cheers gamely. "Come on, Warriors! Defense!" She's not exactly sure what she's saying, but she knows that it's the proper thing to call out when the team she's rooting for is without the ball. Her enthusiastic applause is directed at the cluster of eleven and twelve year-olds running excitedly around the court. Her attention, however, is focused on Nathan.

Nathan is currently crouched on the sidelines as he speaks quietly to one of his players. Haley can tell by the serious expression on the young boy's face that Nathan is giving him quite the talk. She smiles when she sees Nathan give the boy a fatherly pat on the back. He's obviously very good with these kids. It's clear that his whole team adores him.

So, unfortunately, do their mothers. When the final buzzer sounds, Haley laughs warmly at the sight of Nathan's team tearing victoriously around the court. The crowd immediately starts to disperse, and Haley watches as the group of moms descends the bleachers.

"Well, I guess we couldn't expect him to stay single forever," one of the women sighs.

"That's true," another mom chimes in disappointedly.

Haley is about to chuckle over her good fortune. Then she looks down and sees Nathan staring up at her with an expression of skepticism and longing. She knows he's confused about her sudden appearance in Charlotte. Although it pains her to know that he doesn't trust her, she has no doubt that she will convince him of her feelings. As stupid as she's been, she's never doubted that she cares for him. She knows they belong together.

She just knows.

*********

"So you looked like you were having fun tonight," Haley comments with a shy smile.

They've just pulled into Nathan's driveway and Haley can no longer tolerate the silence. Nathan has been the consummate gentleman--polite and accommodating--but she misses her Nathan. The one who makes terrible jokes and uses every excuse in the book to touch her.

After the game, they'd gone with the team to a local pizza parlor in celebration of their victory. Although Haley had been forced to hide her pained expression every time Nathan introduced her as an old family friend, she'd also relished the opportunity to watch him interact playfully with his team. She never would have been able to imagine the Nathan Scott she'd known in high school as a father-figure. This Nathan, on the other hand, is destined to be a father. For most of the evening, she had picked at a greasy slice of pepperoni pizza and watched fondly as Nathan had allowed his boys to beat him at a variety of arcade games. She can see the contentment on his face even now. While she's glad to see him looking so fulfilled, she's also terrified by the satisfaction he seems to have with his life. Of course she wants him to be happy, but she wants him to be even happier _with her_. What if he doesn't need her the way she needs him? What if his declaration of love was on a whim? Taking a deep breath, she scolds herself for getting carried away. Fretting is going to get her nowhere. She decides to break the silence instead.

"You really enjoy working with those kids, don't you?" she inquires.

Nathan nods. "Sure. They're good kids." He puts the car in park and steps out onto the driveway with Haley following close behind.

"Nathan..." Haley starts as he busily works to unlock the front door.

After a moment, the heavy door swings open and Haley hears the high-pitched beeping of a security system. Nathan holds up a finger and then disappears around a corner where she can hear him pressing several keys to disarm the system. While he's occupied, Haley has a chance to look around the expansive home and she can't help but sigh admiringly.

"Nathan, the house...it's beautiful."

Appearing by her side once again, Nathan shrugs. "I really liked it. It was kind of an impulse buy."

"I can see why," Haley remarks.

An impressive staircase rests a few yards from the small foyer. Straight ahead is an oversized living room with an abundance of comfortable furniture. The kitchen is just beyond that, and even from afar, Haley can see the granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. There's a den or office of some sort to the left, and then a bedroom and a bathroom to the right. The house is decorated in warm tones and rich textures, and Haley feels like she's come home just as soon as she walks in.

"There are three bedrooms and two bathrooms upstairs," Nathan informs her. "I guess I should probably use the downstairs bedroom for guests, but my decorator hasn't quite gotten to that room yet." He pauses awkwardly. "I'm not sure what you were planning on doing while you were here..."

Haley turns to him with a smile. "Whatever's easiest for you."

A moment passes between them and Haley can see the discomfort flicker across his face.

"Look, Haley," Nathan interrupts. "I'm not sure what you're doing here or what you want from me. Like I said before, you made yourself pretty clear about your feelings and your intentions. I care about you, Haley. A lot. But I'm not willing to play games. My life is pretty good. I've got a lot going for me. I like my job just fine, I've got a great house, I'm getting closer with my Uncle Keith. Things are good for me. As much as I would love to add you to the equation, I can't let you in only to have you run out on me. You need to figure out what it is you want, and I just don't think you really know what that is yet."

"I do know, Nathan!" Haley insists. "I want you! I want us!"

"Why?" Nathan questions challengingly. "What changed in just a few days?"

Haley's hands drop to her sides and she looks at him pleadingly, but says nothing.

"Stay as long as you need to," Nathan offers. "But I've got a life here, Haley. I'm not just going to put it on hold." He gives her a hurt look. "I can't run the risk that you'll change your mind again."

"I understand," Haley agrees with a nod. "I really do, Nathan. But I'm not going to change my mind. I'm not going anywhere."

"You can stay," Nathan concedes. "But don't expect anything from me. I just don't think I have anything to offer." He gives her a long, probing look. "The guest room is upstairs, first door on the left," he explains. "The sheets are clean and there are clean towels in the guest bath."

"Thank you," she mumbles softly.

"I've got work tomorrow," Nathan explains. "Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge."

"Nathan--"

He ignores her and heads up the stairs. "Sleep well, Haley."

*********

The moonlight has turned Nathan's bedroom into an ethereal chamber of soft silver light. The ceiling fan clicks overhead while Nathan rests on his back, his arms folded beneath his head. He has an early day tomorrow and really should be getting some sleep, but he knows there's no way he'll be getting any rest with the knowledge that Haley is just down the hall. His bitterness over her rejection of him has done nothing to damper his physical attraction to her. Just the thought of her sleeping under the same roof as him is enough to drive him stir-crazy. With every second that passes, Nathan finds himself having to fight the urge to leap out of his own bed and directly into hers. He thinks back to that night last year--the night they'd spent together--and remembers the feel of her petite frame sleeping so soundly in his arms. He'd felt so lucky to be the one chosen to take care of such an incredible woman. At that time he'd seen a long future for the two of them. He had assumed that the one night would lead to many more just like it.

The image of her beautiful back flashes through his mind's eye, and he groans when that memory leads him to remember her looking at him so expectantly, her shirt balled up on the bedspread.

Shit.

Shifting uncomfortably, he tries to relieve the pressure he's feeling in his groin.

He feels as though he's being torn apart by her very presence and he doesn't know what to do. On the one hand, he's been hoping with everything he has that she would realize her mistake and come back to him. On the other hand, he's seen her indecisive nature in action, and he's terrified to take her into his arms only to have her change her mind and disappear without explanation. He loves her. He loves her desperately. He's certain that she's it for him. If he's not with her, he won't be with anyone. But he also knows that he can't risk the life he's built. He can't allow her to wreck him the way she had in Tree Hill and then again in California. He's got his job and his house and Uncle Keith. He's actually got something to lose now.

No.

He knows what he has to do. He has to stand strong. He can't give in to her. She's run out on him one too many times and he knows he can't keep picking himself up after her untimely exits from his life. She can stay and get this...whatever this visit is...out of her system. But she's going to have to do it on her own. He can't go there with her again.

He won't.

*********

The stairs groan slightly as he stomps heavily down to the kitchen. Still foggy with sleep, he rubs his eyes before he stretches and yawns. The night had been long and sleep had proven to be elusive. When he wasn't agonizing over the fact that Haley was sleeping just yards away from him, he was imagining what the house might be like with her as a permanent fixture. The thoughts running through his head had been absolute torture, and they certainly hadn't helped him to fall asleep. Shoes pounding against the hard wood floors, he makes his way through the dining room and into the kitchen, tying his tie along the way. He's not prepared, however, for the sight that awaits him.

"Good morning!"

Nathan starts at the sound of Haley's chirping voice, and then he nearly falls over backwards at the vision in front of him.

The curtains are all open and the sunlight is pouring generously through the windows. She's barefoot as she pads around his oversized kitchen, and he swallows thickly at just how natural she is in his home. She's in a casual green sundress with her hair in loose waves. Her eyes are bright and her smile is warm as he watches her flip a piece of french toast (his favorite, of course) to golden perfection. There's something so utterly right about seeing her in his house first thing in the morning that he has to fight to keep from pinning her up against the cabinets to kiss her senseless. He gulps stupidly when she turns to him, a hopeful smile on her pretty face.

"Have a seat," she urges him. "This is almost ready."

Oh no. Oh, hell no. This cannot be good. Sitting across from her and eating french toast while she looks...well, like _that_...will not go over well. At least not when he's trying to keep his distance.

Finally over his shock, Nathan is able to respond. "It looks great, Haley, but I've got to get to work," he explains lamely. "Uh, maybe another time."

The hope is wiped from her face. The look of disappointment that appears in its place is enough to make him want to sit and eat a thousand pieces of her french toast, but he knows that sitting down and eating breakfast with her will only prove to be the most exquisite form of torture. Nope, he's better off heading to the office. He's pretty sure he's got a pack of Pop Tarts in his desk drawer anyway.

"Don't you have just a few minutes?" Haley questions softly. "Please, Nathan."

"Sorry," Nathan answers shortly with a shake of his head. He's already backing away from her, aware that he won't be able to resist if she even comes close to tearing up.

Her face falls, but then she smiles bravely, and he has to admire her ability to rally back.

"Well," she says brightly. "I guess I'll have plenty for me then. Any chance you'll be free for lunch? I could pick something up and..."

"I've got a conference call during lunch," he cuts in before she can finish. "It's probably going to be a pretty busy day."

She cocks her head slightly, her dark eyes narrowing as she examines him curiously. Finally, she nods. "I understand."

No, you don't, Nathan wants to say. He wants to explain to her and make her understand that he wants nothing more than to spend time with her and share meals with her. But doing such things will make it just that much harder when she inevitably up and leaves.

Instead, Nathan gives a small smile and nods. "I guess I'll see you later."

Haley nods. "I guess so."

When she hears the sound of the Range Rover engine fading away, she picks up the plate of french toast and dumps it into the trash. Dropping her face into her hands, she leans against the kitchen counter and wonders what she's going to do.

*********

The clock in the living room ticks louder than anything she's ever heard before. With a heavy sigh, Haley sinks back into the couch cushions and looks around the room for something to do.

She's managed to keep busy for most of the day, but the hours still seem to drag on. She's supposed to be here proving herself to Nathan, but she's realizing just how hard that's going to be when he's gone for most of the day. Still, she's managed to find little chores to be done around his house. His floors were really in need of a good mopping, there were dishes to be done, and she had spotted some weeds in the flower beds out front. All she knows is if she can keep herself busy, maybe the time will pass quickly and he'll be home before she knows it.

She's in the process of dusting in the living room when she makes the discovery.

There's an impressive set of shelves built into one wall of the room. The shelves are filled with all sorts of memorabilia: trophies, framed certificates, souvenirs from majors games, and other knick-knacks. There are also framed photographs scattered throughout. Curious, Haley begins moving from photo to photo, idly dusting the shelves as she examines their contents. There are several photos of Nathan and Lucas--some from college, some from Nathan's games, and a few from other sporting events they had attended together. What stops Haley in her tracks, however, is the set of three framed photos on one of the uppermost shelves. The first is a goofy shot of the two of them sitting at the bar in the Cafe. The second photo is one that had been taken at the River Court by one of Skills's basketball players. The final photo is one that Haley has never seen. It's a shot of her at the beach, obviously playing in the surf while looking laughingly back at Nathan. There's an intimacy to the image, as though the photo has captured the version of her that only Nathan has ever known. The sight of herself in each of the photos causes her to lift a shocked hand to her mouth, but it also causes her heart to swell. Considering Nathan's total indifference to her since her arrival, she's been feeling rather doubtful about the likelihood of a reconciliation. Seeing the photos, however, gives her a renewed sense of hope. He still cares. She's still important to him.

She feels a renewed sense of confidence as she waits for him to arrive home from work. Sure, he's been somewhat distant, but she knows she can break through that layer of ice. She's sitting on the couch and thumbing through a magazine when she finally hears a key in the lock. Glancing up at the clock, she sees that it's nearly seven o'clock. Practically leaping to her feet, she hurries to meet him.

He looks weary as he walks into the living room, and she doesn't miss the tension that appears when he sees her. She ignores it.

"Hey!" she greets cheerfully.

"Hey," he nods politely.

"How was your day?" Haley questions curiously.

"Long," Nathan responds simply. "Yours?"

"Good," she nods. "I did some cleaning around the house, pulled a few weeds...you know."

Nathan pauses for a moment and looks around as though he's searching for something. Instead of looking grateful, he looks annoyed. "I pay people to do those things, Haley. You don't need to be keeping house."

Surprised, Haley takes a step back. "I was just trying to help out," she explains apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't have anything to do, so I just thought..."

Shaking his head tiredly, Nathan rakes a hand through his mussed hair. "That's not your job, okay? It's my house and I've got people to do that stuff for me, so just...don't."

Feeling more than a little bit foolish, she nods. "Okay." She hesitates for several seconds, afraid to ask the next question. "Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat."

"No thanks," Nathan declines politely. "I think I'm going to take a shower and then maybe watch some TV. I'm beat. Feel free to help yourself to whatever you want though."

Haley watches as he departs and heads up the stairs without so much as a glance in her direction. She can feel her lower lip trembling and she squares her shoulders to fight off the urge to sob. She knows he has every right to be angry with her, but it doesn't hurt any less to have him remind her so forcefully that she's a mere guest in his home.

"Gee," she murmurs to herself. "Thanks."

*********

By the third night, Haley can hardly sleep. As she tosses and turns, she thinks about how distant Nathan has been. Not rude. Not mean. She's hardly spent enough time with him for him to display either emotion. Instead, he's been playing the avoidance game with her. It's as though he's afraid to let her go, but he's also afraid to let her back in. She's caught in some awkward sort of limbo, and she's desperate to escape.

She's twisted and tangled within the sheets. Rolling back and forth, she struggles against their resistance. Breathlessly, she hovers somewhere between dreams and consciousness.

_It's dark, unusually so, when she enters. _

_"Matthew?" Haley calls out after entering his expensive townhouse._

_"In the office, Haley!"_

_Smiling brightly, Haley makes her way down the hall and through the double-doors which lead to Matthew's impressive home office._

_"Hey!" she greets him happily._

_He glances up and gives her a quick smile. "Hey."_

_"Are you ready? Or do you need a few minutes?"_

_Matthew looks up again, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Ready for what?"_

_Haley frowns. "For dinner. Brooke and Peyton are in town. I told you last week that they would be here. We're supposed to be meeting them in twenty minutes."  
_

_Matthew rubs impatiently at his face and then turns to Haley, speaking slowly as though speaking to a small child. "I have work to do, Haley. I don't have time to have dinner with your high school girlfriends."_

_"But we talked last week and---"  
_

_"We talked and I thought you understood that, while I was letting you go, I wouldn't be joining you."_

_"Matthew, they've never even had the chance to meet you."_

_"I've heard plenty about them from you. If you ask me, you could stand to spend a little less time with them. Maybe then you'd be the top five percent of your class instead of just top ten."_

_Haley lowers her head and nods silently. "I'll just tell them something important came up at the firm. They'll understand."_

_"I'm sure they will," Matthew replies distractedly. "Hey, you're not going to come back here tonight, are you? I've got to be up early and I'd rather not be woken up in the middle of the night."_

_"Um, sure. I'll just go back to my place. Or I'll crash with Peyton and Brooke."_

_"Great," Matthew replies with a nod. _

_Disappointed, Haley turns to leave the room. She stops when Matthew calls her name. _

_"Oh, Haley?"_

_"Yeah?" she responds hopefully._

_"Happy Birthday."_

_Her eyes fall closed and a small tear falls down her left cheek. _

_"Thanks."_

She gasps slightly as she sits up in bed. Raising a hand to her cheek, she can feel the moisture of her tears and she realizes that the memory has caused her to cry even in her sleep. Glancing around at her surroundings, she remembers where she is and wishes desperately that she could go to Nathan for comfort after such a dream. Unfortunately, she and Nathan haven't reached that level of intimacy.

They live like roommates.

Sure, there's a familiarity between them. They share the space of the house, but there's no intimacy in their day to day interactions. Nathan has made a concentrated effort to avoid spending too much time around her and he's been quite successful. After just three days, Haley is finding herself growing more and more frustrated by the lack of development in their relationship, but then she knows she's going to have to earn Nathan's trust.

Still, she keeps finding herself wondering if Nathan will ever actually want more with her. Did she ruin things for good? Is he just trying to be kind by allowing her to remain in Charlotte?

She manages to keep things all smiles and jokes and laughter when they're around each other. She knows it makes things easier for him when she keeps it light. But then she goes to bed and sobs quietly, afraid to wake Nathan up. She thinks about all the time she's wasted, and she thinks about all of the little ways that Nathan keeps his distance. The way he'll sidestep her in the kitchen or the way he casually places a pillow between them when they sit on the couch. Even the way he introduces her to people: "I'd like you to meet my friend Haley." He's never cruel to her. He's never uttered a harsh word or given her any kind of false hope. Rather, he's always been exceedingly polite and respectful.

Sniffling softly, Haley turns over to check the time. The glowing display on the clock shows that it's after 2:00 in the morning.

Peyton has always said she can call anytime.

*********

"I'm sorry it's so late."

"Me too," Peyton yawns in response. "But I did tell you to call anytime."

Haley is silent. Her jaw is trembling.

"So how's it going?" Peyton questions in a groggy whisper.

"It's not."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, there's nothing going on. He's a perfect gentleman. He just doesn't seem to want me here."

"I'm sure that's not true, Haley," Peyton insists.

"Well, it certainly seems like it. I think this was a mistake, Peyton. He doesn't want me here. I'm just a burden, and he's just too nice to tell me to leave. Every time I try to make conversation, I get a bunch of one-word responses. Whenever I try to spend some time with him, he claims that he has to work. The only time I see him is when he gets home in the evenings. Even then, he sits for about twenty minutes in front of the television and then makes up some excuse to go to bed. It's like being around me is painful."

"I'm sorry, Hales," Peyton murmurs. "That's rough, but it's only been a few days."

"A few days of silence and awkwardness and avoidance," Haley hisses. "It's been awful. I just don't know what to do! Am I supposed to wait it out? Just hang around until he cries 'Mercy'? Should I be fighting to win him back? Or should I be giving him his space? I just...I thought it would be easier, you know?"

Peyton nods sleepily. "Mmmhmm."

"Peyton!" Haley exclaims shrilly. "I'm desperate for some guidance here!"

"Haley!" Peyton mimics her. "It's two in the morning here! You're damn lucky you're getting any kind of coherent sounds."

"Peyton..."

Peyton sighs at the sound of complete and utter hopelessness in her friend's tone. Sighing heavily, she takes a moment to try and collect her thoughts. "Okay, maybe...maybe try to show him how much you appreciate him. Maybe being around you _is _painful for him. For now. Just try to do nice things for him. Make his life easier. Be there to support him. Be persistent, but don't force yourself on him. He needs to know that you're not going anywhere. He needs to know that there's nowhere else you'd rather be. He's probably testing you. I mean, you devastated the guy, Haley. Twice. And I know you don't want to hear it, but you're going to have to put in the time. It's easier for him to be totally detached and have you leave than it is for him to welcome you with open arms and have you leave. Don't let him drive you away."

Haley is nodding to herself as Peyton speaks. "Okay," she agrees softly. "I can try all of that. But, Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

Haley hesitates for a moment before she asks, "What if it doesn't work? What if, after everything, he just tells me to go?"

Peyton is brutally honest. "Then you give him what he wants and hit the road." She pauses. "Give him time, Haley. He'll come around."

*********

"Goddamnit!"

Grumbling under his breath, Nathan sorts furiously through the stack of files currently on his desk. It's already been a hell of a day and it's only ten in the morning. After another sleepless night, he'd awakened once again to Haley in his kitchen--this time making blueberry pancakes. His cold refusal of her sweet breakfast invitation had made him feel like a total ass. Actually, he knows he was a total ass. The tears in her eyes had been more than enough confirmation. The tiny quiver of her chin had been enough to send him running, so he had stormed out of the house and backed down the driveway, his tires screeching along the way.

Quickly, he flips through the contents of one folder before cursing and flipping through the next. Tossing the stack aside, he yanks open a desk drawer and busily begins digging through its contents. Glancing up at his clock, he curses once more and hurries his search. On top of making Haley cry and fleeing his own home, he had come to work only to discover the absence of one particularly important file. He is supposed to be meeting with the CEO of one of the largest car rental chains on the east coast is in less than three hours, and he is short one particularly important report containing some quotes and estimates which are vital to the success of said meeting. A contract between Scott Automotive and Pristine Rentals will be a monumental achievement for Nathan and for the company. Without the file, however, he's afraid it will be a monumental failure.

He's still sifting through the contents of his desk when his Blackberry suddenly chimes. Without even glancing at the screen, he picks up the phone.

"Nathan Scott."

"Nate, man, it's Jake."

"Hey, Jake. Listen, can I give you a call later? Now's a really bad time." Standing up, Nathan goes over to his filing cabinet and begins searching through the top drawer.

Jake's friendly tone disappears and is quickly replaced with hostility. "You're damned right it's a bad time," he hisses.

Caught off guard, Nathan freezes, his hand hovering over the file drawer. His brow furrows as he racks his brain and tries to figure out what could have Jake so angry. "What are you talking about? What's going on?"

"Peyton spoke to Haley the other night."

"And?" Nathan frowns. "I'm sure they talk all the time."

"Haley called her at three in the morning."

"Well...that's weird."

"Well, she was distraught. Apparently she was sobbing when Peyton spoke with her. Peyton says she's ashamed and devastated and terrified. What the hell are you doing, man? What kind of game is this?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The last time I saw you, you were head over heels for this girl. Now you're making her cry? Look, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but if you're not going to take her back, you need to tell her so under no uncertain circumstances. You're my friend, man, but so is Haley. If you're leading her on, we're gonna have a major problem."

Nathan scoffs. "Oh really? And what are you going to do?"

Jake chuckles wryly. "I'm going to call the cops and give them your address. You'll need their help when Peyton and Brooke show up at your front door. Man, you know how protective those girls are of one another. And after everything before..."

"Before what?"

Jake is quiet for a moment. "Look man," he finally remarks. "Haley's been through a lot over the past year. Stuff you probably don't even know about. There's more going on than you even realize and she's trying really hard to make things right. Give her a break."

"Oh, like she did for me when I begged her not to leave me in Tree Hill? Or like she did when I showed up on her doorstep and told her that I loved her? That kind of break?"

"You're playing a petty game, Nathan. You're pushing her as hard as you can, and you're going to push her right out of your life. It's a petty game and you're going to wreck any chance you have with her if you're not careful."

"I didn't ask her to come here, Jake," Nathan points out irritably.

"Oh, what the fuck ever," Jake mutters skeptically. "You were devastated when you got back from California. Just a couple of weeks ago you wanted nothing more than to be with her. You expect me to believe that your feelings have changed over the past week?"

"Does she expect me to believe that hers have changed in the past week?" Nathan counters.

"You know what," Jake replies heatedly. "Do what you want to do. This is just a warning. You're going to fuck things up if you're not careful, Nathan. Haley had better not get hurt just because you're being a vengeful asshole. She's putting herself out there for you...just like you did for her. Either man up and forgive her or tell her the truth, Nathan."

"I've got to go," Nathan says dismissively. "I've got work."

"Take the high road here, Nathan. Don't be like Dan."

There's a click and then nothing but dead air. Nathan stares for a moment at the blank screen on his phone before he sets it down on his desk. With an angry yell, he reaches out and sweeps the clutter from his desk. Letting out a heavy sigh, he glances down at the mess he's made. The corner of a silver picture frame can be seen poking out from beneath several file folders. Bending down, he picks up the frame, which is now cracked down the center. Haley is smiling out from beneath the jagged line, her eyes wide with joy. He smiles at the photo for several seconds before dropping it into a desk drawer. Reaching down, he presses the intercom button on his office phone and apologizes to his secretary for bothering her.

"I know you're busy, but could you have someone bring me a broom and dustpan?"

*********

Nathan is busily typing at his computer, trying desperately to recreate the missing report, when there's a small tap at his office door.

"Come in!" he calls out, assuming it's Keith.

"Hi," Haley greets him with a meek smile.

Glancing up in surprise, Nathan freezes at the sight of her. God, she looks good. Damn! In addition to her bright eyes and her cheerful smile, she's straightened her golden hair and applied a bit of gloss to her lips. She's wearing a pair of snug jeans and a purple tank top. Shiny purple toenails are wiggling in a pair of flat sandals.

"Haley, what...what are you doing here?" he chokes out. As much as he's been trying to focus on the report, Jake's words have been looping through his head. He knows he's been an ass, but he also knows that he's trying to protect his heart. He feels a bit dizzied by the circular nature of his own thoughts, and the sight of Haley standing in front of him is enough to push any and all logic out the window. He feels attracted to her--then he feels angry at himself for being so attracted to her--then he feels angry at her for all of her baggage and issues.

Haley hovers in the doorway and shifts from one foot to the other. "I uh..." she starts.

"I'm really busy," Nathan cuts her off. "This day has been a disaster so far. I have an important meeting in a little while and I really need to focus, so can this wait until I get home tonight?"

Her timid expression hardens in an instant. "Well, I'm sure it could, but you never have much more than a second to acknowledge me when you get home from work! I've been trying to talk to you for the past week, Nathan, and all you've done is your best to avoid me!"

Nathan gives her a placating look. "I told you, Haley. I'm done. I've said what I need to say."

"Well, I'm not!" she remarks shrilly, her chest heaving with the intensity of her sudden outburst. Suddenly, she seems to catch herself. As though a switch has been flipped, she slows her breathing and reaches up to smooth her hair. "Look, I just wanted to see what time you'd be getting home tonight. I managed to find a grocery store and thought I'd make dinner. I thought maybe we could talk," she adds hopefully.

Nathan ponders the idea for a moment. The thought of sharing a home-cooked meal with Haley is definitely a tempting one, but he has to keep his guard up. He knows it's only a matter of time until he scares her off again, and he doesn't want to get too accustomed to the comfort of having her around.

Her brown eyes are large and pleading, and she chews nervously on her plump lower lip as she waits for his response. Immediately, he feels the urge to loosen his tie and he knows if he doesn't get her out of his office soon, he's going to clear the desk and have sex with her right over the top of his keyboard. He has a feeling Keith wouldn't approve.

"I'm sorry, Haley," he responds. "It looks like I'm going to be working late tonight. I'll probably just eat something here at my desk.

"Oh," she replies dully, a frown on her face.

The disappointment is evident in her voice. Nathan cringes at the sound of it, and his frustration with the entire situation flares up again.

"Look, you can't just show up here and expect me to drop everything. You're not my wife, Haley. Hell, you're not even my girlfriend! You had your chance and you said no. You can't invade every little part of my life!"

"Nathan, I..." Haley tries to break in.

"Look, I need you to leave. I have a lot to do and I just can't deal with you right now."

He nearly cringes at his own vicious tone, and then his face falls when he sees the hurt in Haley's eyes. He watches cautiously as she steps forward, uncertain of what she's going to do. He knows she wouldn't be entirely out of line if she was to hit him, so he feels himself shrinking back just the tiniest bit.

"Relax," she remarks tightly. "I'm not going to attack you. I just figured I'd bring you this. You left it on the kitchen table this morning. You know...before you ran away from me." She sets a manila envelope on his desk and immediately turns on her heel. She doesn't pause until she's in the doorway, and then she turns around to face him. Her eyes are shimmering with tears and her jaw is locked with tension. "I'm just trying to be a part of your life, Nathan. I just want to be with you. That's all."

With that, she disappears from view, and he can her the sound of her sandals slapping lightly against the tiled floor of the hallway as she goes. Glancing down at the envelope, Nathan picks it up and peeks inside. Letting out a growl of frustration, he slams the envelope back onto his desk. It's the file he's spent the entire morning searching for.

For a second time, Nathan presses the intercom button and offers instructions to his secretary. "Yeah, go ahead and reschedule that meeting with Pristine Rentals. Yeah, I know they may not want to reschedule, but I'm just not up to it today."

*********

Nathan sits and stares intensely at the wall, his expression like stone. He's not wrong. He hasn't done anything even remotely out of line. Grunting to himself, he shakes his head and then picks up a pencil which he promptly begins tapping against the edge of his desk. Nope. Not gonna feel guilty. Nothing to feel bad about. He sighs. Haley? Haley who?

"Was that Haley I just saw?"

Nathan jumps. Keith is standing in the hallway, his head poked into Nathan's office.

Nathan nods. "Yeah."

Keith frowns. "Was she crying?"

Nathan nods again. "Probably."

"And you're okay with that?"

No, he's not okay with it. The thought of Haley hurting is causing him to feel sick to his stomach. But then there's that tiny streak of pride running through him--the one that's keeping him from letting Haley in. The one that reminds him of her rejection every time he starts to soften towards her.

"Well," Nathan replies. "I'm not really sure what you want me to do about it. I mean, she can't expect to just come skipping back into my life and have me drop everything for her."

"Why not?" Keith narrows his eyes. "That's exactly what you should do. And a couple of weeks ago, that's exactly what you would have done."

"Yeah, well, I'm beyond my pathetic little excuse for a pity-party. I'm thinking clearly now. She made her choice."

"You're gonna blow it, son," Keith remarks simply.

"What are you talking about?"

"With Haley. The girl comes all the way out here and pretty much moves in with you to show you the extent of her devotion to you, and you're acting like you've got an irritating cousin sleeping on your couch. This is the girl you love, Nathan. Or so I thought. I mean, just last week you were willing to smash your house to pieces over her."

Nathan pushes back from his desk and starts pacing. "What do you want from me? She walked out on me. She told me she didn't love me. I'm just supposed to forget that and act like it never happened? I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to let it go!"

"When the girl moves across the country and bends over backwards to make you happy? Yeah, you forget it and move on. It's called forgiveness, Nate. It's what separates the happily-ever-afters from the rest of us miserable idiots."

"Well, easier said than done."

"Yeah?" Keith questions. "Well, Nate, I'm about to make it a lot easier. I want you out of here."

Nathan's head jerks up. "What?!"

"I heard you canceled the meeting with Prestige Rentals. You know how important that account is to the company."

"Uncle Keith, I'm sorry, but it was just a hectic morning and--"

Keith breaks in, "And you need to get things figured out. You're not doing anyone any good here. Being here certainly isn't helping your situation with Haley."

"So you're firing me?" Nathan questions in disbelief.

Keith shakes his head. "No, I'm not firing you. You're going to take a leave of absence. You're going to get your life figured out. And I don't want to see you back in this office until you do."

"I don't know what to do, Uncle Keith," Nathan mutters.

"She made a mistake, son. But you're making a bigger one. If you don't give her some sort of sign--something to show her that you care--she's going to give up. I've seen how she fawns over you. She's in love with you, son! She's desperate for some sort of sign that you still feel the same about her. If you don't give it to her, she's going to walk. You'll only have yourself to blame."

"Well, maybe that would be easier," Nathan mumbles.

"Easier than what?"

Nathan looks up. "Easier than losing her after giving her everything I have to give."

*********

When he arrives at home, he isn't surprised to see that there are no lights on.

After his behavior earlier, he's fairly certain he's going to be in the dog house.

The truth is, he's enjoying having Haley here with him even if he doesn't act like it. He's getting used to the idea that he'll see her each night when he gets home and each morning when he wakes up. Still, as much as he's enjoying her presence, he can't quite let go of the fear that she'll up and leave him. Twice now, he's been in this position. Twice now, he's been willing to lay it all on the line for her. Twice now, she's been the one to say 'no thanks' when he has professed his desire to be with her for the long term.

So yeah, while he's enjoying having her here, he can't bring himself to play into her hands. Despite the fact that he's desperate to eat breakfast with her or watch television with her or coach with her in the stands, he needs to keep the lines firmly drawn.

The house is dark when he walks through the front door. It's nearly nine o'clock, so he expects to find her watching television in the living room or reading in her bedroom...the guest room...whatever. There's no tell-tale flash of the television screen when he walks into the living room, so he jogs up the stairs, already undoing the top buttons on his shirt. There's no light pouring out from beneath the door to her room, so he knocks lightly before poking his head in.

"Haley?"

The light from the hallway floods her room enough to make it clear that her room is empty. Frowning, he steps back and begins moving through the house at a hurried pace. "Haley?" He feels a sinking sensation in his gut, and Keith's words from earlier are echoing in his head. Maybe she finally had enough. Maybe she finally realized he's not worth all of that time and effort. He's nearly frantic as he rushes out the front door.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that the rental car is still in the driveway.

Moving swiftly through the living room, he approaches the sliding glass doors and steps out onto the patio. The house had come with a gorgeous outdoor dining area. To make the most of the space, Nathan had purchased an outdoor dining set, several lounge chairs, and some heat lamps. The crickets are chirping as he steps into the mild, summer air. Immediately, he heaves a huge sigh of relief.

There, curled up in one of the lounge chairs, is Haley. She's wearing a lightweight pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and there's a book clutched in her hand. A bottle of wine is sitting on the small table near her chair, and he can see the traces of wine droplets still clinging to the long-stemmed glass. Reaching down, he grasps the neck of the wine bottle and is surprised to discover that it's half empty. He feels a sharp twinge of guilt. Haley has never been a drinker. As he takes another step closer, Nathan can see evidence of the toll their confrontation has taken on her face. Her eyes are puffy and red-rimmed, and he can make out the subtle tracks left by her tears. Sighing, Nathan kneels down and brushes a gentle finger down her cheek. She lets out a small breath at his touch, and he can see her relaxing into the cushion of the lounger.

"What do you want from me, James?" he whispers. "You said you couldn't be with me, so why are you here torturing me? Do you know how badly I want you? Do you know how much I wish I could kiss you right now? Problem is, if I did and then I lost you, I'm pretty sure it would be the end of me. I just don't know if I can play those odds again."

She stirs slightly. Nathan can see her eyes opening slowly.

"Nathan?" she murmurs sleepily.

"Shhhh," he urges. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart."

Without question, she allows her eyes to fall closed. When he reaches down to scoop her up into his arms, she curls into his embrace and continues to sleep soundly.

Even with Haley in his arms, Nathan climbs the stairs with ease. Gently, he lowers her onto the mattress and arranges the pillow beneath her head. Tugging on the sheets, he tucks them around her petite frame and then leans down to press a kiss to her forehead. Then he toes off his shoes, grabs an extra pillow and blanket, and carefully settles himself on the armchair in the corner of the room.

"I'm sorry, James," he whispers into the darkness. "I'm so sorry."


	7. The Truth

A/N: Just one final part after this. Thanks for reading!

Part 7-The Truth

Haley groans slightly as she shifts beneath the covers and then groans at the ache in her back. Opening her eyes, she's surprised to find herself surrounded by masculine blues and tans rather than the sage green walls she's grown accustomed to in the guest bedroom. With a quick look around, it becomes quite obvious that she has somehow found her way into Nathan's bedroom. Despite the darker hues of the decor, the room is bright with the early morning sun and Haley can tell that she's been there for quite awhile. There's a navy blue blanket covering her, she realizes, and she's propped against a mound of dark brown pillows. Confounded by the situation, Haley pushes herself upright and begins to roll out of the king-sized bed, but her feet don't even touch the hardwood floor before she is overcome by an intense wave of nausea. Gasping, she claps a hand over her mouth and then leaps out of the bed, making a beeline for the en suite bathroom. Nearly sliding across the tiled floor, Haley drops to her knees before she very gracefully empties the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Trembling against the involuntary heaving, she rests her palms against the cool porcelain and takes several deep breaths to try and ward off the cold sweat that's beading on her skin. Her breaths are ragged and hurried, and she wishes desperately that she could fast-forward just an hour or two-to the moment when the terrible feelings will have passed.

She's still hunched in the same shaky position when a cool hand presses against her back and she feels her tangled hair being brushed away from her face.

"You're okay," he murmurs soothingly as he rubs her back. "You'll feel better soon."

Startled, she jerks around and sees Nathan resting on his knees beside her. His expression is one of concern and of sympathy...and maybe a teeny bit of remorse.

Haley gulps and then looks up at him through heavy eyes. Although she can't help but feel excited by his concern for her, she's also mortified. _Yeah, this is the way to win him back. Drink yourself into a stupor and then puke all over his bathroom floor. _Quickly, she averts her gaze and focuses her attention on the sporadic pattern of the floor tiles.

"Feel better?" he asks after several moments pass. His hand is still rubbing her back and Haley wonders if he even realizes he's doing it.

"A little bit," she returns quietly. She pushes back from the toilet and rests against the wall, her head cocked tiredly as she watches him. "What am I doing in your room?" Total panic flashes momentarily over her features. "Oh God! Did I like...sneak in here last night?"

Nathan raises his eyebrows in amusement at her theory. "No," he answers slowly. "But you definitely had too much to drink."

Recalling her pity-party from the night before, she feels her cheeks heat up with shame. She's certainly not adverse to the occasional cocktail, but she's never been one to drink glass after glass of wine. Hell, she's usually a bit woozy after her first glass! She groans slightly and then rubs firmly at her temples. "Uh, you think?" She shrugs and adds, "It was a terrible day. And you never answered my question. How did I get here?"

Nathan reaches down to button the cuffs on his shirt and, for the first time, Haley notices that he's dressed and ready for the day.

"I was worried that you might get sick after downing that bottle of wine," he explains. "I brought you here just in case. Obviously a good plan."

"Obviously," she repeats wryly. Looking back in the direction of the bedroom, her gaze fixes on the rumpled sheets. "And where exactly did you..."

Nathan says nothing, but he gestures over towards the window where a chenille blanket and a pillow have been tossed haphazardly.

Haley flushes. "Right. Sorry." She pauses awkwardly. There's something intimate about the situation-about watching as he gets ready-and suddenly she feels as though she's intruding. "You know, you could have just taken me back to my ro...I mean, the guest room. I would have been okay."

He stares intently for several moments, to the point that she feels the need to squirm under his probing eyes. "I was worried," he remarks softly. Pushing himself to his feet, Nathan offers his hand and helps her back into the bedroom where she sits tentatively on the edge of his bed. "I'm sorry about yesterday," he admits. "I was a jerk."

"You don't owe me anything," Haley cuts in, shaking her head.

Nathan shakes his head. "I was just really busy, Haley. It's not like I was avoiding you."

"Oh really?" Haley challenges. "So you always work sixty hour weeks?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"It's been more than sometimes, Nathan," she remarks quietly. "Look, you don't owe me anything, but I'm asking you to tell me the truth. At least be honest with me. You've done everything short of moving out to try and avoid me. I know it and you know it. I guess I just thought you'd change your mind." Looking down at her hands, Haley chews thoughtfully on her lower lip. "Maybe I should go."

Surprised by the comment, Nathan's eyes immediately narrow. "Oh, so that's it? I'm a jackass once and you're going to run away? Even in high school you were tougher than that. Way to prove yourself, Haley."

"That's not what I meant!" Haley remarks firmly. "But if it was, I would be totally justified. I just meant...maybe I should find somewhere else to stay. This is just too hard-not just for me, but for you too."

Frustrated by the whole situation, Nathan releases a loud breath and shakes his head. "No," he argues. "Don't do that. Look, I'll try. It's just...you're right. This is really hard for me, Haley. I'm not sure you understand just how difficult it is."

Haley gives him a chiding look. "Believe me, Nathan. I know exactly how hard this is."

Nathan watches her for a moment. Not for the first time, he considers how perfect she looks on his bed. All night long, he'd been unable to fall asleep with Haley so close. Instead, he'd spent much of the night just enjoying her presence. He caught himself pretending that she was his wife and that she'd just had too much to drink at a company party. He'd allowed his mind to drift toward the fantasy of having a little blue-eyed girl and brown-eyed boy sleeping just down the hall. Fantasy, sure, but it had felt pretty damn authentic.

"I'm sorry," he utters finally.

She cocks her head in surprise and frowns at his sudden remorse.

"You're making an effort and I keep shutting you down at every opportunity," he clarifies. "I'm sorry."

Haley softens slightly and nods. "Thank you."

"I'm going to try harder," Nathan remarks with resolution.

* * *

The next few weeks are relatively uneventful. While there are no measurable blow-outs, Nathan is still rather distant. He's more willing to make conversation, but their interaction never ventures beyond the territory of casual friends. Still, Haley is determined. In fact, she's spent much of the past several weeks exchanging emails and phone calls with a number of influential people in an effort to prove the level of her commitment to Nathan. The fruits of her labor had _finally _arrived that day: a nondescript envelope that had been sandwiched between the water bill and a coupon book in the day's mail. Glancing over at Nathan, Haley can't help but smile. Hopefully this will make the difference.

At the moment, they're both lounging in the living room while some old Adam Sandler movie plays on television. Aside from the occasional chorus of their combined laughter, the room is dead silent. While she appreciates the gentlemanly manner he has adopted, she can't help but wish that he'd demonstrate _something _beyond brotherly affection for her. Sure, things have been eons better than before her regrettable wine-and-dine-party-for-one, but their recent relationship is reminiscent of the one she'd always had with Lucas. A wonderful relationship, sure, but not even _close _to the type of relationship she yearns to share with him. When she wants kisses, she gets a friendly shoulder-squeeze. When she wants him to give her a full, leering once-over, she gets a half-hearted nod of approval. When she wants a romantic candle-lit dinner, she gets Kentucky Fried Chicken and ESPN Classics. With a subtle, sidelong glance, Haley sees that Nathan is focused intently on the plasma screen. Releasing a little huff of air, she lets her shoulders sag. Once again, he doesn't even notice her.

Nathan is watching Haley out of the corner of his eye, and he frowns slightly when he hears her release a tiny sigh of what sounds like frustration. Gritting his teeth, he forces himself to remain focused on whatever shenanigans Adam Sandler and Chris Farley are up to on screen. The truth is that Nathan wants nothing more than to climb onto the couch, pull Haley into his arms and hold her for the rest of the night. He wants to be able to touch her and smell her and love her. He wants to be able to say all of the things he never thought he'd want to say to a woman. But he can't. The boundaries have been set and the lines have been drawn. Sure, she claims that she wants him for the long haul, but look at what happened the last time things had gotten intense. As torturous as it has to have her so near without touching her or kissing her, he knows it'd be worse to have her run again. So he keeps it light and friendly. Non-threatening.

Alone in the recliner it is.

His Blackberry vibrates loudly against the surface of the end-table. Snatching it up, Nathan sees that he has a text from Jake. He rolls his eyes when he sees the message: _Made any progress with your girl? _Nathan immediately begins composing a response.

The look of intense concentration on Nathan's face suggests to Haley that he's thinking quite hard about something. She decides to break the silence and lighten the mood.

"So Brooke's going to be here tomorrow," she announces with a cheerful smile as she picks up the remote and mutes the TV.

"Tomorrow?" Nathan responds . "Already? I knew she was coming, but time has flown by. You guys have any exciting plans?"

Disappointment threatens Haley's pleasant mood, but she pushes it out of her mind. "Actually, we were planning on going out tomorrow night. I thought you said you were going to come with us. I was hoping you would come along to save me from humiliation in case Brooke falls madly in lust and leaves me sitting alone like a loser."

Nathan frowns distractedly as he types on his Blackberry. "Huh? Oh, sure," he smiles absently at Haley. "I remember you mentioning something, but like I said, I just lost track of time. Just let me know where and when and I'll be there, okay?"

Nodding, Haley lets out a dejected sigh and settles back on the couch.

Nathan taps the few characters and skims the final message: _None. But having her with me is better than not having her at all._

Satisfied, he presses the send button.

* * *

He knows now that he never should have sent that text message.

At least, not to Jake. He's on his way home from a practice with his youth-league team when his phone begins ringing. It's only after he's arrived home and ignored Jake's call four times that he finally apologizes to Haley and takes the call in his office.

"Do you love her" Jake asks for the millionth time.

"Shut the hell up, man!"

"It wasn't a trick question, dumbass."

"Screw you, Jagielski," Nathan mutters irritably. "If you called just to give me shit, I'm hanging up."

"You think that's bad?" Jake taunts. "You should hear the things Skills and Tim say."

"Talking trash behind my back? That's ballsy."

Jake chuckles, "There aren't many opportunities to trash-talk the great Nathan Scott. We've got to get our kicks while we can. Come on, man. You send me some sappy, puppy-dog text, and you think I'm not gonna call you on it? This has gone far enough. You're both dancing circles around your issues and it's causing nothing but pain and anxiety. Peyton and I feel like we've got our own up-close-and-personal soap opera going on."

"Well, I'm so glad I could provide this opportunity to entertain you," Nathan responds wryly.

Jake quickly redirects the conversation. "You never answered my question."

"It was a stupid question. Of course I love her. More than anything or anyone I've ever had or known. You really think it would be this hard if I didn't?"

"To be honest, I don't really know why it's so hard for the two of you. You love each other, you're living in the same place, you're both responsible adults...what's the problem?"

"I don't know what to do next. I mean, I told her I was going to make more of an effort. But how much more of an effort to do I need to make. Are we supposed to be a couple all of a sudden? Do we date? I don't want to scare her off, man. And as much as she says she's ready for the long-term..." he trails off doubtfully.

"Why don't you talk to her about that? It affects her too. Just remember, man. She's just as gunshy as you are at this point. You're terrified she's going to run off. According to Peyton, she's terrified you're going to change your mind."

"I couldn't change my mind about Haley even if I wanted to," Nathan mutters quietly.

"So let her know that."

"So...honesty, huh? That's a novel approach." Nathan sighs heavily.

Jake chuckles, "Crazy, huh? Oh, and Nate? I'd get to work on that if I was you. Peyton says Brooke will be there tomorrow. Brooke has a way of getting people to lay their cards on table...whether they're ready or not."

* * *

When Brooke rings the doorbell the next day, Nathan can't help but smile at the sight of Haley, who is so excited to see one of her best friends. As much as Brooke drives him crazy (and it's a lot) he finds himself thinking that it might be nice to make her visits more of a regular thing if it means Haley's face will light up like this each time.

Two seconds later, Nathan is wishing that he'd had the foresight to purchase some earplugs. All he knows is that there's a lot of girly-squealing, bouncing, hugging, and then more girly-squealing. As much as he adores Haley, the squealing is giving him a headache. And Brooke's haughty little glares aren't helping matters.

"You look awesome!" Brooke exclaims. "I wasn't sure what to expect after you've spent so much time with the Jackass King over there."

"Nice to see you too, Brooke," Nathan remarks dryly.

"Oh, so you're speaking English again," Brooke responds brightly. "Some of your buddies gave me the impression that you'd gone all caveman there for awhile. You know, speaking in a series of grunts and taking a baseball bat to your own house. And then when Haley called me crying so many times..."

"Brooke!" Haley hisses warningly.

Sorrow flickers briefly over Nathan's features. He shouldn't be surprised, but it's troubling to know for sure that his treatment of Haley had forced her to turn to Peyton and Brooke for comfort. For quite awhile now, he's liked to think of that as his job.

"So?" Brooke turns to Haley. "Are we going out tonight? I really want to make an appearance at this one club..." The conversation fades away as the two women head upstairs.

Within a matter of hours, Nathan is seated on the couch, his knee bouncing impatiently as he waits for Haley and Brooke to make their way downstairs. Although Brooke has a hotel room for the duration of her stay, she and Haley had opted to get ready together, so Nathan has been plagued by the sounds of their giggles all evening. While he's happy for the opportunity to spend the evening with Haley, he's realizing more and more that Brooke is going to make it very difficult for any real talking to take place. Releasing a heavy sigh, he tilts his wrist to look at his watch, but he's interrupted by the sound of Brooke's husky voice. "Don't get your panties in a bunch, Mr. Punctual. We're ready."

Nathan stands and turns to see Brooke in her usual number: something short, tight, and black that exposes legs and cleavage galore. He's not, however, prepared for the sight of Haley in a strapless, cranberry concoction that manages to exude class while simultaneously oozing sexuality. Nathan begins to say something, but he realizes that his throat's gone dry and he has to swallow before he can continue. "Wow. God, Haley. You look...wow." He shakes his head in an effort to clear his mind, but he's flummoxed again when he sees the shyness in her smoky eyes and the slight curve of a smile on her glossy lips.

"Thanks," she replies.

A loud cough breaks the tension in the room and Brooke steps directly in front of him. "And what about me?"

"You look like someone who really needs to get laid," Nathan remarks bluntly.

Brooke's brow furrows for a moment, and then she nods in satisfaction. "Excellent!" she chirps. She turns to Haley and murmurs, "I really do."

In her usual take-charge manner, Brooke leads the trio in the direction of the front door, but Nathan reaches out to stop Haley. Startled by his touch, she looks up with wide-eyes and pauses.

"You look really amazing," he murmurs softly. Letting his hand trail down the length of her arm, he smiles when he sees her shiver ever-so-slightly in response to the contact. Then he lets his hand fall to hers. Their fingers twist together almost instinctively and Haley smiles at the comfortable pressure of his hand around hers.

The drive to the club is silent. Brooke is in her rental car since she's planning on going back to her hotel for the night, which leaves Haley and Nathan in his Range Rover, their hands still entwined over the center console.

"You really do look beautiful," he finally remarks solemnly as they wait at a stoplight. And then slowly, as though he doesn't want to frighten her, he leans over and presses a soft kiss to her cheek. Lifting a hand to a wavy tendril of hair, he brushes it back behind her shoulder and takes her hand in his once again.

She's surprised, but she turns to him with a grateful smile. "Thank you," she replies shyly. Recognizing an opportunity to open up the lines of communication, Haley chews slightly on her lower lip and hesitates before finally speaking again. "Look, Nathan," she adds uncertainly. "I was hoping maybe we could talk later. There's...something I want tell you. It's a good thing...I think. But I want to share it with you."

Nathan watches her curiously for a moment and then nods. "Okay," he agrees. "We'll talk tonight when we get home. I think we definitely have some decisions to make."

_Home. _It's such a simple word, but Haley can't help the way her heart jumps when he refers to it as though it's something they share. And decisions? But he'd said it with a smile on his face. So they must be _good _decisions, right? Relieved, Haley smiles at him. For the first time in a long time, she's starting to think that maybe things will actually fall into place. Maybe things will work out for the best. Maybe there is such a thing as happily ever after.

* * *

It's still early-barely nine o'clock-but the club is unbelievably crowded with bodies packed shoulder to shoulder across the dance floor. The dancing crowd forms a collective wave of motion across the dance floor as the music pulses and the low lights flicker, and there's a cluster of people hovering around the bar as they wait for the opportunity to order new drinks. Nathan is still holding onto Haley's hand when they walk in, and he only lets go to place a protective hand at the small of her back.

"Stay close," he murmurs in her ear. "I don't want to lose you in here." Haley nods in response and then laughs out loud when she looks over at Brooke.

Brooke is nodding her head in time with the beat of the music and tosses a sly smile towards Nathan and Haley. "Now this is what I'm talking about!" she exclaims, raising her voice to be heard over the music.

Nathan chuckles to himself when he sees that Haley is a bit more skeptical, but he gives her a gentle nudge when Brooke attempts to drag her to the center of the dance floor. Nathan laughs at the look of terror in her eyes and gives her a playful wave. "Have fun! I'll get us some drinks!" Within a few moments, he sees that she's dancing-although less provocatively than most in the room-and giggling with Brooke. Since Nathan has long since given up any hope of ever possessing a shred of rhythm, he opts to make his way over to the bar and take his chances with the thirsty mob.

As he waits patiently at the bar, Nathan can't help but follow Haley with his eyes. Despite the huge number of people surrounding her on the dance floor, his gaze is almost immediately drawn to her. Sappy as it may sound, he feels a subtle wave of calm wash over him when he is able to keep an eye on her. Unfortunately, he's focused so intently on the sight of Haley's laughing face that he doesn't notice the brunette lolling drunkenly behind him. Just one tiny mis-step later, and she's stumbling right into his back, her drink seeping into the fabric of his shirt.

"What the hell?" he exclaims in shock. Turning around, his shock deepens when he realizes that the offender is someone he knows.

"Nathan?"

Turning at the sound of his name, Nathan is surprised to see Lucy Abbott, an entertainment reporter for the _Charlotte Observer_, watching him curiously as she sips from the drink in her hand.

Well, great.

Although perfectly nice at first glance, Lucy Abbott has been hounding him ever since his move to Charlotte. Touted as the Perez Hilton of Charlotte, Lucy is frequently seen rubbing elbows with some of the biggest singers, actors, and athletes in the country. Unfortunately, she's also the writer of some of the most scathing and scandalous articles ever published. More than one reputation has been ruined by Lucy's version of reporting, and Nathan happens to know that she'll dig until she finds dirt. Even more frightening-if she doesn't find any dirt, she'll make her own. The last thing he needs is for Lucy Abbott to know _anything _about his personal life. He's managed to keep a low profile over the past several months, and he certainly doesn't need to be the subject of some shitty human-interest story on triumph over tragedy. Of course, if he blows her off, he's likely to end up on tabloid covers beneath the double entendre, "NATHAN SCOTT: WHAT AN ASS."

"Nathan Scott? Is that you?" Lucy trills with excitement in her eyes.

"Lucy," Nathan greets easily, a forced smile on his face. "How are you?"

"Fine," she replies cheerfully. "A little surprised to see you here. I thought you'd mentioned that you weren't really into the club scene anymore."

Nathan nods. "Yeah, that's right. I had my fill when I was back in Phoenix. Actually, I'm kind of a third-wheel tonight."

"You're a third-wheel?" Lucy flirts boldly. "I doubt it. But since this is such a rare occasion for you, why don't you let me buy you a drink? I'd love to catch up!"

Nathan glances towards the dance floor in search of Brooke and Haley, but he can't spot them anywhere. Finally, he looks back at Lucy who is eagerly awaiting his response. He's slightly taken aback by her forward approach. "Uh..." he stalls as he searches for an excuse to refuse. "

"One drink," Lucy promises. "I'm not asking for a ring."

"Sure," he shrugs casually. "One drink can't hurt."

He orders his drink from the bartender and then seats himself on one of the barstools.

"You know, I have a friend who's a contractor...he did some work at your place and he tells me there's a mystery woman who supposedly had you demolishing your house. She must be quite a girl," Lucy comments bluntly.

Nathan smiles wryly._Fucking contractor can't keep his mouth shut._ Leaning down, Nathan gets as close as he can and then whispers, "Well, you are the queen of rumors, Lucy. I'm sure if you heard it, you probably also started it."

She raises a hand to her chest as though offended. "Well, there's no reason to get nasty, Nathan. I was just concerned for your wellbeing. I can't imagine any woman worth her salt treating you so horribly. Besides, you could stand to get some publicity, you know? You've all but fallen off the face of the earth."

"That's just the way I like it," Nathan replies.

Lucy tosses her hair and laughs. "Don't be ridiculous! Nobody likes being nobody! And our readers are craving some juicy gossip on you. Who are you here with tonight?"

The woman I'm head over heels in love with, he wants to say. Instead, he replies tightly, "Some friends. Just some friends."

* * *

Examining her reflection in the mirror, Haley opts to touch up her lip gloss while Brooke is indisposed. She's twisting the cap back onto her gloss when Brooke makes her way up to the sink.

"So, things seem to be going pretty well between you and Nathan," Brooke comments slyly.

Ignoring Brooke's teasing gaze, Haley nods. "They're definitely improving. I think he's finally realizing that I'm here for the long haul." She gives Brooke a secretive grin. "And I got some good news the other day."

"And you're holding out on me? What is it?" Brooke demands.

Tugging something from her clutch, Haley hands it to Brooke and watches excitedly as Brooke's eyes widen.

"Seriously?"

Haley nods. "I was afraid it wouldn't work out, but it did. Now I just have to tell Nathan."

"This is really big, Haley," Brooke comments. For a split-second, her vivaciousness fades the tinest bit and her voice is serious. "I'm happy for you. Lucas would be thrilled too. I just hope that you guys can have the kind of relationship I wanted to have with Lucas. You love each other. You can still be together, so you _should _be together."

Haley's eyes sparkle happily and she nods. "You know what? It's taken a long time, Brooke, but I'm happy for me too. Maybe it's time you work on being happy...even without Lucas. He'd want you to find someone else."

The solemnity fades away and the vivacity returns. "Oh, but I have someone," Brooke remarks. "I have a lot of someones!"

"You know what I mean, Brooke," Haley comments firmly.

Brooke nods. "I'm just not there yet," she explains. "Not yet." She takes a deep cleansing breath and her perky smile is restored. "But _you _are, my friend. Let's get out there."

Placing everything back into her clutch, Haley nods. "Let's go find Nathan before he thinks we've abandoned him."

* * *

The two are arm-in-arm when the emerge from the ladies room, and immediately they begin searching for Nathan. Brooke manages to spot him first, but she isn't quick enough to disguise her indignant huff from Haley.

"What?" Haley questions with a laugh. Following Brooke's eye line, Haley has the perfect view of Nathan. Well, the perfect view of Nathan smirking charmingly at the brunette at his side. Waiting for a moment, she hopes to see Nathan give the woman the brush-off or give her a sisterly pat on the arm. Instead she watches as he leans down and whispers something into the other woman's ear.

Rolling her eyes, she hands her purse to Brooke. "Hold this for me." Then she straightens her shoulders and marches with confidence in the direction of the pair. The brunette pulls back as Haley steps in and offers her hand. "Hi, I'm Haley."

The other woman is clearly taken aback, but she nods and smiles politely. "I'm Lucy. Nice to meet you. Are you...?" she glances coyly between the two, "Oh my God! You're Nathan's girlfriend, aren't you? So it's true! Nathan Scott is really off the market?"

Smiling, Haley steps forward and starts to press herself into Nathan's side. She opens her mouth to respond, but Nathan cuts her off.

"Nope," Nathan breaks in loudly. "Haley is just an old friend of mine. She was actually my brother's best friend." He turns to face Haley. "This is Lucy Abbott from the _Observer_," he explains casually before taking a sip of his beer.

Haley feels her heart drop and she knows her face has fallen right along with it. After everything, after all of the progress she'd believed them to be making, he's introducing her as 'the old friend'. He's flirting with another woman and making it clear that she's nothing more than an old buddy. And why not? The other woman wouldn't blow him off when he proclaimed his love for her. The other woman probably wasn't waist-deep in trust and commitment issues. Staring at Nathan with a look of hurt and resignation, she watches as he nods at something Lucy says. He's totally oblivious.

"I, uh..." she stammers dumbly. "I think I left my lip gloss in the ladies room." She glances at Lucy. "It's my favorite color and...you know how it is. Excuse me!"

Shaking her head in a valiant effort to ward off her tears, Haley hurries back across the club to where Brooke is standing with a hilariously flabbergasted expression on her face.

"I need your keys," Haley says in a low voice. "Give me your keys."

Surprised by the command, Brooke pulls her rental car keys from her purse and hands them over to Haley.

"What are you doing here? Show the bitch who's boss!" Brooke urges.

Not trusting her own voice, Haley reaches out to give Brooke's wrist a squeeze and then whispers, "I've got to get out of here. You can make sure he gets home, right?"

Brooke looks a little shell-shocked, but she nods. "Yeah, of course, but...Haley, I don't think you should. Haley!" Something You left your...purse." Haley is already halfway out the door by the time Brooke manages to finish the sentence.

Nathan looks over at the sound of Brooke yelling Haley's name, and turns to Lucy. "Look, print what you want to print. I don't have time for this shit. I've got better things to do than play your games. If prying into other people's business and then subjecting them to public scrutiny and humiliation is your calling in life," he makes a grand sweeping motion, "have at it." Turning abruptly, he leaves Lucy standing with a scowl on her face, and he knows he's probably not going to want to read the _Observer _anytime soon.

As he approaches Brooke, he glances around for Haley and grows concerned when he doesn't see her nearby. Brooke, however, looks like she's about to explode. Her foot is tapping rapidly, her arms are crossed over her chest, and her jaw clenched. When Nathan finally reaches her, Brooke balls up a fist and socks him in the arm. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Nathan looks surprised. "What?" He glances around curiously, "Where did Haley go?"

"Uh, she's long gone," Brooke mutters. "Asshole."

"Could you cut the huffing and puffing routine, Brooke? What the hell is going on? What are you talking about?"

"Well, what did you expect, Nathan? You're all over her all evening, and then suddenly she looks over to see you showing off for some drunken bimbo. Then you actually introduce her as your old friend? You're going to ruin this, Nathan. You're going to wreck her. I mean, how long do you really think she's going to stick around with you treating her like shit?"

"Lucy?" Nathan scoffs skeptically. "Jesus, Brooke, she's the gossip writer for the _Charlotte Observer_! She was digging for dirt because she's been trying to do a piece on me for ages!" He rakes a hand desperately through his hair as he realizes just how badly he may have fucked up. "Damn it, I didn't want her to know about Haley because...well, after everything we've been through to get to this point, I don't think being the focus of public scrutiny is the best thing for us right now. Besides, she is an old friend. We haven't discussed becoming anything more."

Broke feels a pang of sympathy when she sees just how torn up Nathan really is. "But you guys are more," she points out gently. "Maybe if you'd try talking to her, you'd understand that! Instead, you're too busy trying to put her in her place...or some other shit. Whatever," she finally mutters. "If Haley bails on you this time, I'm right there with her. Maybe she'll find somebody who doesn't treat her like dirt."

Nathan opens his mouth to argue, but then he stops and considers the past several weeks. Has he really been so horrible? As his mind sorts through all of the missed dinners, the ignored questions, and the avoided conversations, he realizes that he has. Haley had taken a leap of faith on him, and he'd made her feel like a fool.

"Where are my keys," Nathan demands suddenly and he begins searching his pockets for his keychain. "Where did she go?"

"Oh great, so you're just going to leave me here?" Brooke complains sulkily. "Some friends. How am I supposed to get back to my hotel?"

"Call a cab," Nathan suggests distractedly. "Just tell me where the hell she is, Brooke."

Huffing indignantly, Brooke picks up Haley's clutch and slams it into Nathan's chest. "I don' t know where she is, but here's what I _do _know. _That's _her purse. Why don't you do yourself a favor and take a quick look inside. There's an envelope that might interest you. You can even tell her I told you to read it! Anything to get off the Naley merry-go-round of drama!" With a huff, Brooke storms off and leaves a bewildered Nathan staring cluelessly into a black sequined bag. The envelope is crumpled and has obviously been handled quite frequently, but his curiosity is piqued when he sees the small crest embossed in the upper left-hand corner. He doesn't even need to read what's inside to know what it means.

And it changes everything.

* * *

The valet seems to be taking an eternity to retrieve the Range Rover, especially since it's not even ten-thirty and Nathan's the only waiting for his car. Glancing impatiently at his watch, he finds himself wondering if the you parking attendant is having a little too much fun driving the luxury vehicle. When the SUV finally brakes to a stop at the curb, Nathan tosses a ten at the kid and leaps into the driver's seat. Pressing a button on the instrument panel, he says very clearly, "Call Haley," and listens as the phone rings. He drums his hands anxiously on the steering wheel as he waits for her to pick up, and then he sighs in relief when she finally does.

"What's up, Nathan?" she greets him tiredly.

"Thank God! Where are you?" he exclaims immediately. "You just take off and abandon me here with Brooke? What the hell, Haley? If you wanted to leave, you should have told me."

"I'm sorry," she replies emptily.

Nathan can't help but frown at the lack of energy in her voice. "What's going on, Haley? What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong," she answers. "Actually, I think I'm finally figuring things out."

"What does that mean?" Nathan asks sharply.

"It means that I get it," Haley explains defeatedly. "I'm not going to bother you anymore."

Nathan is troubled by her statement and tries to repair the damage the evening has done. "Haley, the Lucy thing...it's not even close to what you think. Just let me explain and-"

She's silent on the line, and then he hears a loud gasp followed immediately by the piercing squeal of tires on asphalt.

"Haley?" Nathan calls into the phone. "Haley!"

"Nathan?"

Her voice is wobbly, but it's there. Nathan glances toward the sky and says a quick prayer of thanks before responding.

"Haley! Baby, are you okay? What happened?"

He can hear her take a deep breath as though she's trying to keep her composure. "I'm okay," she promises. "I'm out on the back roads. Something ran into the road. I'm fine," she insists. "I'm fine."

Then she falls apart.

"Tell me where you are, Haley. Tell me where you are so I can come get you."

* * *

It feels like forever before he spots her car pulled onto the shoulder of a narrow, two-lane road. His tires skid slightly on the loose gravel, but he throws the car into park and is tugging Haley from the driver's seat of her car in a matter of seconds. Her eyes are puffy and her mascara is smudged, so he gently wipes at the dark circles with his thumbs. For the first time since she's been back, he takes the opportunity to look at her-to really look at her. She looks exhausted. She looks broken. She looks like someone who has given up. A surge of guilt overwhelms him as he realizes he's the reason for her current state. He's been so determined to avoid blindly falling for her that he's given her the impression that he just flat-out doesn't give a damn about her. He resists the urge to let out a string of curse words. Nothing could be further from the truth. Right here, in this moment, with Haley looking skittish and wide-eyed, her petite frame looking frail and burdened, he realizes that none of it matters. He's going to love her and adore her and desire her for the rest of his life. So what the hell is he waiting for?

"Are you crazy? What the hell were you thinking?" Suddenly he's screaming like a madman, waving his arms and crying out his frustrations. Then, before he knows it, he's sobbing along with her. "What if you'd been in an accident? Do you even know what it would do to me? I don't know what I would do if something happened to you! Do you get that?"

"I'm sorry!" she screams at him. "I'm sorry! How many times can I say those words to you?"

"Come here," he murmurs finally. Letting out a sob of relief, she jumps into his arms and buries her face in the crook of his neck. With one arm wrapped around her narrow waist, he lets his free hand tangle in her hair as he whispers soft words of comfort in her ear. "Now what the hell were you talking about earlier...about not bothering me anymore?"

"I can't do it anymore," she murmurs sadly. "I just can't. I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm so sorry for everything. I want to be with you so much. I love you so much, but please don't make me do this anymore."

"Do what, baby?"

"See what I'm missing. Watch you and be near you when you won't let me have you. If I can't have you, I just need you to tell me."

"Shhhhh..." Nathan hushes her. "Don't cry, James. You should know by now...you already have me. You always will. And you damn well better keep bothering me. No one else does the job like you do."

Haley nearly laughs with joy at the sound of the nickname she hasn't heard in months. Taking his words to heart, she tries her best to regain her composure and dry her tears. "I'm so tired," she mumbles finally. Instinctively, she pulls him even closer and nuzzles against his chest.

"I know, baby. I know."

"Don't let go of me," Haley whispers urgently as she clutches him as close as she possibly can.

"I've got you, James. Don't worry," Nathan nods. "Let's go home."

* * *

A curling strand of steam is rising daintily from the oversized mug of hot chocolate as Nathan carries out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Haley is stretched out on the couch when Nathan comes in, and she smiles when she sees the small pile of marshmallows atop the hot beverage.

"Keith is going to send one of the guys out to get Brooke's car in the morning," he tells her.

"Thanks," Haley smiles. She takes a cautious sip of the cocoa and smiles at him gratefully. There's something so soothing about a mug of hot chocolate-even in the midst of summer.

"So Lucy is a gossip writer?" Haley questions, still trying to understand the situation that had brought them to blows earlier in the evening.

Nathan nods and seats himself next to her on the couch, casually draping his arm across the back of the couch. "She's _the _gossip writer for the area. She's been trying desperately to find something on me ever since I moved here. I was trying to prevent you-us-from being that something."

"I'm sorry," Haley murmurs.

"Don't be," Nathan insists. "It as a misunderstanding. I should have just let Lucy think and write whatever the hell she wanted. I really was trying to protect you...protect us."

"I know that now."

Nathan watches her closely for a moment and then inquires hesitantly, "Can I ask you another question?"

Taking another sip of cocoa, Haley looks at him over the rim of the cup and the nods as she lowers it to her lap. "Sure."

"After everything...what changed your mind about us?" Nathan asks curiously.

"Lucas," Haley replies quickly and honestly.

She laughs at the look of confusion that flickers over his face. Finally, she pushes herself up from the couch and shuffles out of the room for several long moments. Nathan sits baffled, wondering where the hell she's disappeared to, until she reappears and nestles herself back into her nest on the couch. In her hand she holds a crumpled piece of paper that's obviously been read on a frequent basis. She handles it as though it's some priceless artifact as she gently hands it to him.

She explains, "I found that a couple of days after you left Palo Alto. I was moping and Emily called me on it. She asked me what the hell was wrong with me. She wanted to know why I would send you away when being away from you was obviously so painful for me. You have to understand..." she pauses as she tries to collect her thoughts. "I thought I was incapable of being in a relationship. The last relationship I'd been in had destroyed practically every relationship I'd ever had. I didn't ever want to go through that again. I didn't ever want to lose myself in another person like that again. So I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself and Emily went stomping out of the apartment. When the door slammed behind her, it caused a frame to fall. When I went to pick up the frame, I found this. Lucas must have left it for me the...the last night I saw him. I guess it fell behind the bookshelf."

"What's it say?" Nathan questions curiously.

Haley motions at the letter. "Read it for yourself."

Nathan nods and slowly unfolds the letter before reading the words aloud.

_Hales,_

_Look, buddy, I know you're upset with me right now and I get that. It's just that you're my best friend in the world, Haley. You're the best person I know and you deserve to be with someone who celebrates that. Matthew isn't that guy, Hales. When we were sixteen, I told you what kind of guy I wanted for you. I told you that I wanted someone who would take care of you and respect you and share with you. I still want that for you. I still want you to find someone who lets you pick the movie, who makes sure you're never cold, who doesn't mind if you eat off his plate. That guy is out there, Haley. He could be right in front of you, but you may not even realize it because you're so busy looking for the grand gesture. It's not about the grand gesture, Hales. It's about the everyday moments._

_I'm sorry that you're upset with me and I'm sorry that you think I don't respect the choices that you make. But I'm even more sorry about the fact that I never see you or talk to you anymore. I miss you, Haley. I miss my best friend and I'm hoping that when you read this, you'll realize that all I've ever wanted is the best for you._

_I love you, Hales. You're my best friend in the world...no matter what._

_Give me a call as soon as you can._

_-Lucas_

Haley's eyes are flooded with tears by the time Nathan finishes reading Lucas's words.

"He knew," Nathan finally utters.

"Knew what?" Haley asks.

"You asked me awhile back why I was so interested in spending time with you."

"Yeah," Haley prompts him.

"It was Lucas," Nathan explains. "The night of the accident, we were out having a few drinks and he brought you up. For the first time in almost five years, he made a point of bringing you up in a conversation."

"What did he say?"

_"What's eating you?" Nathan questions gruffly as he watches Lucas staring off into space for the umpteenth tiime._

_"I'm worried about Haley," Lucas responds honestly._

_"Haley?" Nathan echoes. "What could you possibly be worried about her for? If there was ever a chick who could take care of herself, it's Haley James."_

_"I'm not so sure about that," Lucas replies. "She's in a bad relationship right now. I just can't help but think..."_

_"Think what?"_

_"You're one of the best guys I know. You realize that, don't you, man?" Lucas asks._

_"Thanks, man."_

_"Haley is one of the best people I've ever met. She deserves someone just as good as her."_

_"What are you saying?"_

_Lucas gives Nathan a pointed look and Nathan immediately begins shaking his head. "No way, man. No way."_

"He wanted you to rescue me from my relationship with Matthew," Haley realizes. "He wanted you to show me how things could be."

"It was the last thing he ever wanted from me," Nathan nods. "And after the accident..."

Haley nods in understanding.

"I figured maybe we could be friends if I was lucky. But then..." he trails off allowing Haley to fill in the blanks. "Goddamn Lucas," he mutters. "He was right once again."

Nervous about her reaction, he slowly looks up and is surprised to see a fresh sheen of tears in her eyes. She's biting her lip and she's shaking slightly, and he doesn't quite know what to make of her reaction.

"Hales?" he murmurs worriedly. A look of obvious confusion mars his handsome face.

Taking a breath, she tries to explain, "You always put a blanket over me when I'm taking a nap."

Nathan stares at her, baffled. "I'm sorry?"

Laughing softly, Haley shakes her nead and continues, "You watch The Notebook with me even though I know you hate it. You try your hardest to keep the kitchen clean, even though you aren't always successful. And when I ask you if I can have the croutons from your salad, you always give them to me even though they're your favorite."

"I'm going to need you to tell me what you're trying to say, Hales."

She looks up uncertainly and nods. "It's what I've been trying to tell you ever since I got here."

"What?" he asks.

"Do you remember the time when I told you that Lucas talked to me about what to look for when it comes to true love?"

"And if I recall correctly, you told me that it was a bunch of sappy crap that never actually happens in real life."

With a sheepish smile Haley reaches out to tug on his hand. When he kneels next to the couch, she leans in and presses her lips against his. Finally she pulls away.

"I was wrong," she admits softly. "I'm in love with you, Nathan."

He exhales suddenly and feels a weight lift from his sagging shoulders. He's heard the words before, but this is the first time he's been certain of the feelings behind them.

"Thank God!" he breathes. Giving her hand a tug, he pulls her up and into his arms. She lowers herself into his lap and feels his lips brush lightly against her neck.

"I love you, Haley," he whispers.

She shivers slightly and nods.

"I love you too."

* * *

Haley's index finger is tracing a series of invisible loops and curls across the muscular plains of Nathan's shirtless chest. They've been talking all night long and her eyes are starting to get heavy, but she doesn't have any desire to let this momentous night end. With a deep sigh, she forces her eyes open and looks up at Nathan.

Nathan notices as Haley turns her dark eyes up to his. Smiling, he leans down and presses his lips to her head. About an hour ago-sometime around midnight-he'd suggested that they head for bed, but he hadn't been about to let Haley out of his sight when they'd _finally _gotten it together. Instead, he'd simply waited for her to change into her pajamas, and then he'd scooped her up to carry her to his own bedroom. They aren't doing anything exciting. Nothing physical at least. But then, that's what Nathan loves so much about Haley. Sometimes it's enough just to share space with her. Right now, it's more than enough.

"Nathan?"

Her soft voice is a welcome sound.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Nathan nods. "Anything."

Haley pushes herself up onto one elbow and looks him in the eye. There's some trepidation in her expression and he knows she's having a hard time actually wording her question. Reaching over, he brushes a comforting hand down the soft skin of her arm, and she smiles gratefully at the gesture.

"Will you tell me about that night?"

"What ni-?" he starts to question. Then, "Oh."

Haley looks nervous, as though she's afraid she's asked too much of him. Still, he knows how much it must mean to her, and he knows how much it took for her to even ask.

"It was the night we made it into the playoffs," he starts off. "Luke was in town, so we were out celebrating with the guys and Luke had a little bit too much to drink. I wasn't drinking since I knew I wanted to keep my mind focused on the playoffs and my game, but I was glad Lucas was having fun. He was a real pain in the ass that night, actually. Kept moaning and groaning about missing Brooke. Finally, he was totally shitfaced and I decided it was time to go. And Jesus, Hales, I offered to drive. I was trying to be responsible, you know? Do the adult thing for once. He'd been drinking."

"I know," Haley agrees quietly. "I know."

Nathan nods, his breaths becoming shallow. "It all happened so fast. We were talking, just joking around like we always did. And he was telling me about his trip to visit you when suddenly we were rolling over, just flipping, and it seemed like the car was closing in on us." Nathan shakes his head, his eyes closed as the horrible events of that night flash through his mind's eye. "I was yelling for him. I just kept yelling his name and waiting for him to tell me he was alright..." He chokes slightly on the words and he knows he should feel mortified that he's got tears running down his cheeks like some kind of a baby, but all he feels is relieved...relieved that it's Haley who's with him. In the next instant, her arms are wrapped tightly around his neck and her lips are whispering soft affirmations into his ear. He holds onto her as if for dear life and breathes in the scent of her. "I didn't know where I was or which way was up, but I know I had to get to Lucas. And I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital. I knew he was gone before they even told me. The nurse's face said it all."

The couple remains locked in the comfortable embrace for several long moments before they both pull away and brush hastily at their damp eyes.

Nathan isn't ready for Haley's next words though.

"It's my fault," she remarks simply, looking down in shame.

"What's your fault?" Nathan is starting to feel a bit like the coyote chasing the roadrunner as he continues his line of questioning.

"The accident. Lucas dying. It's my fault."

"What do you mean it's your fault? You weren't anywhere near the accident." Not like I was, he thinks.

"No," she agrees. "But I was the reason he was traveling in the first place."

"So it's your fault because he was visiting you? Haley, that doesn't make any sense."

She squirms slightly, as though she's uncomfortable, and she wrings her hands nervously under Nathan's baffled gaze.

"Lucas was taking care of me in California."

"Why would he be taking care of you?" Hell, Haley's about the most self-sufficient woman he knows. He can't imagine her needing _anyone_ to take care of her.

Haley brushes another tear from her cheek and gives a halfhearted shrug. "Because I'm pathetic and needy. And pretty much the worst friend ever."

"Okay, I know I don't know you very well, but pathetic and needy are the last words I would use to describe you." Nathan rolls his eyes. "Stubborn and independent, maybe. And the Haley James I've gotten to know is a far cry from being the worst friend ever."

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong." Haley remarks firmly. "I pretty much became the kind of girl that I've always despised and pitied."

"What are you talking about?" Nathan frowns.

Haley leans toward Nathan suddenly and reaches over him to snatch her cell phone from the nightstand where she'd placed it earlier. Navigating through the phone with a few taps of her fingers, she hands it over with a particular photo filling the display. It's a snapshot. Haley and another guy-a good looking guy. Matthew. A gorgeous Haley is grinning as Matthew holds her, his cheek against hers and his arms around her waist. His fingers tighten around the phone and Haley quickly pries it from his fingers before he can do any damage. "Relax," she urges, "I'd forgotten about it until just now. And I'm deleting it as...we...speak." Holding the phone up, he sees that the photo is gone and nods in satisfaction. Falling back against the pillows, he opens his arms and waits for Haley to continue once she's comfortably resting against him.

"I told you about Matthew, but I didn't tell you the whole story. See, I met this guy. This charming, good-looking, intelligent guy who always knew exactly what to say to sweep me off my feet." She rolls her eyes and lets out a bitter laugh. "He made me believe things about myself-ridiculous things. He'd tell me how beautiful I was and how intelligent and adorable I was. And I just ate it up. Just couldn't get enough. I guess I'd been waiting for so long for someone to say those kinds of things to me, as soon as it actually happened, I ran with it. I think...I think I kind of felt like I deserved it. Since I'd always tried so hard to be a good person and to help others. I thought meeting my Prince Charming was like my...karmic payback, you know? Like it was the universe's way of saying, 'Hey, Haley James! Thanks for being a nice girl!' Which I now realize is both ridiculous and stupid."

"So how does that relate to Lucas?"

"Well, I got carried away. Swept up with Matthew and his glamorous life. Of course, it's obvious to me now that he was never the guy I thought he was. He was manipulative and deceitful and emotionally abusive. I started to cut ties with my friends and family-including Lucas. I was so caught up in school and in Matthew that I started to ignore the friendships I'd had for a lifetime. I'd let phone calls from Brooke and Peyton go to voicemail. And I'd take forever to return phone calls from Lucas. Until I took lunch to Matthew at his office one day and found him fucking one of the junior partners against the wall."

Nathan jumps slightly at the sound of such vulgarity on Haley's tongue. "Holy shit," he mutters under his breath.

"You know what's really sick? Even after that, I was convinced that I fell short in some way. I really believed that I had driven him to cheat on me. I just fell apart. Completely and totally lost it. Well, Brooke and Peyton couldn't reach me and started to get worried, so Lucas came out to check on me."

Haley stops, watching him expectantly as she waits for a reaction. She's not prepared, however, when Nathan begins laughing.

"You're laughing? You're laughing?"

"Hell yes, I'm laughing. You mean to tell me that Matthew was actually stupid enough to cheat on you? He had you and he blew it? Because that's some funny shit. Boy, I bet Lucas wanted to kick his ass."

"And he did," Haley confirms meekly. She pauses at this point and Nathan can see that she's drumming up some very painful memories.

"Hales," he whispers as he reaches out to brush a comforting hand over her shoulders.

Haley shakes her head and chokes back a sob. "No," she says hoarsely. "I need to say this. I've been holding this in for too long and I need to say it."

"What is it?" Nathan questions encouragingly.

Haley squeezes her eyes shut and Nathan feels tug on his heart when he sees the tears squeezing from the corners of her eyes.

"I was mad at him! He came out to check on me and then he defended me against a guy who was mistreating me and I got mad at him!" Haley's voice becomes loud and shrill as she grows slightly hysterical. "He was my best friend in the world, Nathan. All he ever did was look out for me. I yelled at him and told him to stay out of my life. I slammed the door in his face and then the next thing I knew, I got the phone call from Karen."

Nathan is frozen in place, stunned by the revelation. Suddenly it all makes sense. Haley's detachment from people. Her desire to help Karen. Her unwillingness to venture into another relationship. The puzzle pieces all fall together in a neatly interlocked package.

"Jesus, Haley," he murmurs worriedly.

Haley gives him a tearful glance and shrugs. "So now you know."

"Baby," Nathan whispers soothingly as he pulls her into his arms. "You've been carrying this weight around with you for all this time?"

Haley nods silently, her tears moistening the skin of his shoulder.

"I wish you'd told me this sooner. We could have talked about it together."

"Nathan, you don't understand," Haley starts.

"You think I don't understand?" Nathan echoes disbelievingly. "Haley, I was driving the fucking car! I was in control of the vehicle."

"You weren't that guy who decided to get behind the wheel after a few rounds," Haley reminds him. "He's the one who's responsible."

"No," Nathan agrees. "I wasn't. But neither were you."

"Noted," Haley finally responds.

"Well," Nathan starts, "you were right about one thing."

"What?" Haley questions curiously.

"You didn't get Matthew because you deserved a Prince Charming. If there's anything I've learned over the past few years, it's that we don't get what we deserve. I mean, you think I really deserved to play in the NBA? Hell no."

"Nathan, that's not true," Haley argues.

"Yeah, actually it is. I know what kind of guy I was in high school. And I know what kind of girl you were. You do deserve all the best things in life. But unfortunately-or maybe fortunately in my case-that's not the way the world works. For some twisted reason, I've been one of the luckiest bastards in the world." He looks at her lovingly. "Thank God."

Taken aback by the look of total adoration on his face, Haley cocks her head curiously. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

Haley turns her face up towards him, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. "Make me feel like I should be adored...cherished? No one's ever made me feel that way."

At the sight of her, Nathan swallows and tugs lightly at the tie around his neck. "And that's a damned shame," he finally replies. "Because you're amazing."

Her eyes widen at his husky tone of voice, and her breath hitches when she sees the earnestness of his expression. "Thanks," she whispers simply.

"I mean it, Haley. You astound me. I can't understand how any one person can be so brilliant and beautiful and good. It seems like an impossibility. And yet, here you are in front of me."

She moves forward, her steps small and uncertain, until she's standing in front of him and letting her fingers pluck at the buttons on his shirt. She lifts her head slowly, her eyes rising to meet his, and he catches his breath at solemnity he sees.

"You're so beautiful, Haley," he chokes out.

"So are you," she murmurs in a low voice.

The sound of her voice is more than he can resist and within seconds, he's leaning in and pressing his lips against hers. He tenses for a moment, anticipating her rejection of his sudden advances, and he nearly shouts in in relief when he feels her lift onto her tiptoes and open herself to him.

Wrapping his arms around her small frame, he allows his fingertips to trace every line and every curve of her soft body. The touches are electric and it quickly becomes apparent that they're working their way towards an explosion of epic proportions. While his movements are fast and frenzied, hers are graceful and collected, and he watches eagerly as she tugs her camisole over her head and then shimmies out of her cotton shorts. He sucks in a quick breath at the sight of her in nothing but her lacy black panties.

"Matthew was a fucking idiot," he chokes out as she stands before him, her fingers fiddling idly with the ends of her long hair. "God, I've never wanted anything more than I want you."

"Then what are you waiting for?" she questions coyly.

"Hell if I know," he grins.

Lunging forward, he reaches out and tugs her down to the mattress, her squeals and laughs piercing the quiet in the room.

* * *

The glowing display on the clock reads 4:37.

Nathan's arm is curled around her waist and their feet are tangled together beneath the sheets. Nathan's breaths are rhythmic and forming even puffs of warm air against the back of her neck. Just a couple of hours ago, she'd thought that she'd never felt more protected-Nathan had been unbelievably gentle and considerate, and the feel of his body over hers, the heat of his skin pressed so closely to hers, the fluttering sensations of his lips as they became familiar with her body. Well, the experience had been heady, to say the least. But this? Well, the afterglow is pretty fantastic as well.

"What is it?" Nathan groans sleepily, his arm tightening around her middle to pull her even closer.

"Nothing," she responds innocently. "Go back to sleep."

But it's too late. Nathan is already rolling her over to look her in the eye. "Don't do this to yourself, James."

"Do what?" she wonders naively.

"Haley, you can't run away from happiness. If you're meant to have it, it's going to catch up with you. And for some godforsaken reason that I can't comprehend, you seem to be happy with me. And I know I'm happy with you. So while I don't deserve it or you, I'm going to ride your coattails and think of it as a kickback, because you, baby, deserve every bit of happiness in this world. And if I'm not mistaken, what we did just a little while ago resulted in a whole lot of happiness. For both of us. Now," he announces. "Are we going to sleep or not?"

"Yes," Haley agrees. "Sleep."

Rolling back over, she curls up and allows Nathan to pull her into the cocoon of his larger form. It takes several minutes, but soon she's feeling the rhythmic puffs of breath against the back of her neck again. When a few more minutes pass, the small gusts turn into rather large snores. And as she listens to the rattling in Nathan's throat, her smile grows wider and wider.

So this is happiness.

* * *

He awakens to the sound of her quiet breaths, and it's the most soothing thing he thinks he's ever heard. Smiling to himself, he leans over and presses several gentle pecks to the lightly freckled skin of her soft shoulder before rolling out of the bed and tugging a t-shirt over his tousled head. Shuffling sleepily down to his gourmet kitchen, he immediately begins raiding the refrigerator and cupboards as he attempts to put together some sort of breakfast. She's definitely going to need sustenance after the night they'd had.

She's still sleeping by the time he returns and he can't help the smirk that appears on his face when he sees her resting on her stomach, the sheet resting at the curve of her waist. Setting the tray on the nighstand, he leans down to press yet another kiss to her temple. This time, the feel of his lips is enough to stir her and he scolds himself inwardly for being so affected by the sight of her sleepy smile. She doesn't say a word, instead holding her arms out in invitation.

"Hey," he greets quietly.

Her smile widens. "Morning."

"How'd you sleep?"

Haley lets out a blissful sigh and tightens her arms around his neck. "Deeply," she replies contentedly. "For the first time in a long time. You?"

"I don't think I've had a good night's sleep since that night at your house," he admits. "Of course, the next morning wasn't nearly as pleasant as this one."

Haley pulls back to look him in the eye, regret all over her face. "I'm sorry," she murmurs. "I was just...really messed up. After everything I'd been through with Matthew and then losing Lucas and...it terrified me to even think about another relationship. Even one with you."

"And now?" Nathan prompts.

Haley smiles and then presses her lips to his. "And now the only think that terrifies me is _not _being with you."

"What are you going to do, Hales?"

"What do you mean?" Haley questions curiously, turning over to meet his gaze.

He smiles softly and trails his fingertips up and down the silky skin of her arm. "I mean, you still have a year of law school last time I checked."

Haley nods solemnly. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to do what's going to make you happy."

"You make me happy," Haley replies playfully as she leans in to press a kiss against his lips.

Pulling back, Nathan shakes his head. "I'm serious here, Haley. We've got some choices to make. Listen, I think you should know...I saw your acceptance letter from Wake Forest University."

Haley's dark eyes widen in surprise. "You did? How?"

"After Brooke was finished giving me an epic tongue-lashing, she told me to read it. I did."

"And?" Haley probes curiously.

"And I think you're amazing. I think it's amazing. I can't imagine wanting anything more than to have you here, and I'm unbelievably grateful that you would even consider moving back out here."

"But...?" Haley prompts him worriedly.

"But I don't want you to do anything you'll regret," he admits. "I don't ever want you to regret me."

With a loud laugh, Haley shakes her head and then smiles brightly. "This isn't something I've taken lightly, Nathan. It's something I put into motion quite awhile ago. Professor Rosen, one of my favorite professors, used to teach at Duke. Since she has a former colleague who now teaches at Wake Forest, she managed to call in a few favors and pull a few strings. Wake is going to grant me Non-Matriculant status, which means I finish my third year with them, but I still receive my degree from Stanford." She smiles sheepishly. "Look, I know it's still a ridiculous commute, but it's only for a year. And Wake is way closer than Stanford, right?" Her expression sobers and she reaches out to take his hand in hers. "Nathan, the only thing I would ever regret at this point in my life would be not doing everything within my power to be closer to you. That's the truth."

"Wait a second," Nathan interrupts. "You're telling me that you've already decided this? You're transferring out here? I thought you just applied for a transfer on a whim. I mean, I figured I could take a leave of absence for the year and find some work in California until you finished."

Haley is surprised. "You would do that?"

"Of course I would do that," he nods.

Haley considers the gesture, but shakes her head. "Let me do this for us, Nathan. Please."

Nathan is silent for a moment before he tugs her up into a hug. He presses kisses against her neck and her nose and her cheeks before finally landing on her lips. "It's only a year," he agrees. "And we can get you a little studio apartment there for when you need to stay...or for the occasional afternoon rendezvous. Even geniuses need a study break." He pauses. "What do you say, Haley James? Build a life with me?"

Haley gives a solemn nod. "There's nothing I'd like more."


End file.
